It started with a text..

So while I’m sat at home, signed off of work with laryngitis, watching back to back episodes of all my online programmes and chowing on twenty pounds worth of Sushi, I ponder over a text message I received at 10.45am this morning..

“Hey babe, we haven’t spoken in a while. How’s it hanging?”

I look at this message from Nathan and laugh. Firstly, I have just woken up and he is asking me how it’s hanging. More like I should be asking him how HE is hanging (long and gorgeous from what I remember.) Second, why is he saying we haven’t spoken in a while? The last thing Nathan and I do is speak. You see, Nathan and I have always had one of those relationships where speaking was the last thing we needed (unless it is a text to make arrangements.)

 I would be fast asleep on a Friday night and I would get a text message at 5am saying “where you at?” Now we all know what one of those messages means. BOOTY CALL! Unfortunately for him, I would be sleeping, lucky for his right hand however.

Saturday night would come and I would be out partying with the girls. Few drinks down me and BAM I am as confident as a coconut falling from the tree to make love to the sand. Phone out, get my text on.. “Nathan, I am drunk, where are you?” A reply instantly would be “coming to pick you up from wherever you are babe!” or “in town partying, lets meet halfway?!” or something of the sort, but whatever the case, he would always want to see me.

Next thing you know, he has picked me up in his BMW or I am meeting him via a cab (or a tuk tuk) halfway. We would either end up back at his, in a hotel room or staying in his car to have a bit of a drunken session.

Some of you may be thinking, why would I go meet him when all he is after was a late night rendezvous?! Reason being, was because that is all I ever wanted from Nathan too. So to be getting a text message from him at before midday baffles me.

I simply reply (a few hours later) saying, “Hey hun I am well thanks, how’s all with you?”

Within two minutes he responds with, “Yeah I am good thanks. Do you wanna meet up for a coffee at some point?”

 Hold on a second, I haven’t spoken/seen Nathan for maybe a year or even longer, simply because our last encounter went horribly wrong and I have been too embarrassed to speak to him (basically I noshed him off whilst wearing red lipstick and being horribly drunk and I thought I had cut his penis and screamed to him that it was bleeding. No it wasn’t. It was my lipstick. You can imagine the horror!) So now he is asking me out. Hold on, is he asking me out? Is that like a date? The texts I am used to from Nathan were things like, “there is a party in my pants, do you want to join?” or “I miss your cupcake!” (cupcake is code for vagina, yes, he used to call my vagina a cupcake!) Not do you want to meet for coffee!!

Twenty minutes pass and I reply saying, “Coffee? Since when do me and you meet for coffee? Do you mean coffee and ‘cupcake’ or just coffee?”

He replies, “Wow I have missed your sense of humour. No cupcake, just yet. Just coffee and to see you, I guess I have missed you. Are you free Saturday?”

 Oi vey! Has it come to this? Does he really miss me and want to see me and not just eat cupcake? Well, I most certainly cannot see him Saturday. It is Thursday already and EVERY girl knows the rule. If a guy wants to see you on the weekend and it is after Wednesday, you have to prolong it.

 I reply, “Really busy this weekend, one eve next week work?”

 He replies “sure babe, will call you on the weekend, look forward to seeing you.”

 I have no idea as to why he all of a sudden, over a year later has come back with interest, but I will keep you all updated!

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Sex in the..

A friend of mine and I were talking over a glass of wine (ok a couple) the other night about the funnest or most adventurous places where we have had sex. We were having a right giggle over this and then started thinking of some other places where you can do it..
Obviously, the bedroom can get a bit boring so I have come up with a list of some weird and wonderful places where you may have tried or may want to try...

1) In the car
Most of you reading this will have probably had some form of intimicy in a car. Whether a quick kiss, nosh or sex, it is an easy place to do it. Most people would think to go lie down on the back seats, well let me tell you, this might actually be the least comfortable way if you are going to have sex. If you are somewhere that you can open the doors so your legs can hang out or it's a big car, you will be fine, however if you are in your average size car (polo, punto, golf etc) your best bet is to stay in the front. Girls, get your man in the passenger seat, put the chair back and straddle him. If you find it uncomfortable here, the middle seat in the back is also a good place to do this style.
Tip: Always keep tissues and baby wipes in the car, you never know where you may need to get stains out of and also, do not go to a place where police may stop you! This happened to me once and honestly, I have never been more embarrased in my life!

2) On the beach
Ok for most of us living in cities nowhere near a beach this may be hard, but if you have not yet had sex on the beach, next time you are on holiday you must try it. Sex on the beach sounds so hot and romantic, doesn't it? It's so popular they even named a drink after it.Well, they also called a drink a 'slippery nipple' but thats besides the point. As anyone who's ever had sex on the beach probably already knows, if you're not extremely careful you're going to discover what it feels like to exfoliate areas of your body that don't need to be exfoliated. SOTB can be really romantic at sunset gazing into eachothers eyes so I highly reccomend doing it.
Tip: From experience, your best bet is doing it on a towel or sun lounger because having sand up an area where it shouldn't be, can get highly irritating!

3) The woods/ a field
Whether its going for a weekend get away to go camping or you fancy just stopping in the middle of nowhere and getting out the car for a quick sesh, a bang in the woods can be quite fun. An ex partner of mine and I did this once. After driving around aimlessly for an hour, we passed a field and decided to stop and explore. After a short while, it wasn't the field that was being explored anymore but our sexual desires. We had a great time but after a while of being there, it started to get dark and we could not find our way back to the car.
If you are in a country that has bears in woods, I suggest you do not engage in sexual activity. Studies have found that bears are attracted to the scent of sexual activities. So unless you want Yogi knocking on your tent, I suggest it's your legs you need to seal tight, more than your food.
Tip: Always keep a torch with you!

4) Hotel Room
Sometimes you want it to be simple with comfort. Having sex in yours or his bedroom can get boring and a new scenery is what you want. If so, go to a hotel room. Book in for the night. Take some scented candles with you and maybe even some body oils. The great thing about getting a room for the night is that you can make the biggest muddle and get nasty all night long, without having to worry about the mess the next morning, after all, it isn't your sheets you are staining!
Tip: Do not let him book a Travelodge.. only cheap whores go there.. If you are on a budget, at least make it a Premier Inn.

5) In the shower/ hot tub
I am sure you all know that normal size bath tubs are big enough for just one of you. However, showering with your partner will always get steamy. Take turns lathering each other up and teasing yourselves into a frenzy before going all the way.
If you have a hot tub, do it there. The roominess that a hot tub provides, as well as that vibrating jet streaming action, will ultimately make you and your partner lose yourselves in the moment,
Have two, warm fluffy towels handy — or one big one that you can wrap yourselves in — to keep the comfy after-sex buzz going.
Tip: Try not to do it in the jacuzzi in your local gym. People can easily catch you (which yes is a thrill) and also, nobody wants to be going into that after and find your jizz lingering within the bubbles!!

6) On a plane
How many of you have always wanted to join the mile high club? I have. It is the ultimate fantasy. However, I can just about fit my ass into the plane toilet. Unless you are quite petite, or love it doggy or anal, you haven't got much chance. It is actually now illegal to have sex in a plane toilet and you can be arrested if caught.
Tip: Do not let the air stewardess catch you!

7) Sauna/ Steam Room
What makes sex in a sauna or steam room so absolutely, incredibly, mind-blowingly amazing? How about the fact that because you're blocking some oxygen from getting to the brain, our senses become heightened and so every thrust, lick and bite is felt in an exaggerated manner. I once got frisky in a steam room and let me tell you, it was amazing. The thrill of knowing someone could come in at any moment was incredible in itself but the heat and warmth together was also amazing.
Tip: Always keep a bottle of water with you, we don't want one of you fainting!

8) Swimming pool
For those too lazy to get to the beach or too fearful of an incident involving jellyfish and sand, there's the semi-thrill of sex in a swimming pool. Ironically, water sex can actually dry up your natural lubrication, so can actually be a bit hard when inserting. You can however buy a silicone based lube which is usually waterproof and this will help.
Tip: Do not do it in a family hotel when there are kids around swimming underwater with their goggles on!

9) In the kitchen
You know when you watch a film and they barge through the front door kissing, clothes come flying off and they end up on the kitchen table and instantly start having sex.. yeah, you are imagining it.. well, it is rare that it happens like that. Take my friend for example (the one who had this conversation with me in the first place!) Her and her boyfriend got very drunk one night, got into a taxi and back to his place. Keys in the door, they started kissing and getting really turned on. Like the movies, the clothes were flying off and she jumped on him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He then sat her down on the kitchen worktop, forgetting they had been baking together earlier on in the day. She started screaming and not out of pleasure, but pain. He had sat her down on the spatula they used to pick up the cookies from the baking tray. Put it this way, the spatula entered her like nothing she had felt before! Trying not to ruin the moment, he picked her up and lied her on the kitchen table and he got on top of her. He did not know that she had picked the spatula up and as he was banging away, she started spanking him with it. She told me they even had a flour fight after, which ended up having another session in the shower!
Tip: Do not leave kitchen goods lying around!

10) On the floor
This may sound boring but you can actually make it interesting. Unlike a bed, the floor is hard so yes you are more likely to get carpet burns but may find it easier to have your partner deeper inside of you. If you have a fireplace, lying on a nice rug infront of the fire ca be really romantic.
Tip: Do not get to near to the fire, you don't want a burnt ass!

I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you have any comments you can leave them below or tweet me, @LittleMissVak or email blogdoll21@gmail.com
Facebook me at facebook.com/LmissV

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..x

Phone Sex..

Yesterday, I watched a programme on channel 4 called "My Phone Sex Secrets." It was basically about these women of different ages and backgrounds working in the phone sex industry.

Phone sex (according to wikipedia) is a type of virtual sex that refers to sexually explicit conversation via telephone, especially when at least one of the participants masturbates or engages in sexual fantasy. Phone sex conversation may take many forms, including (but not limited to): guided, sexual sounds, narrated, and enacted suggestions; sexual anecdotes and confessions; candid expression of sexual feelings or love and or discussion of very personal and sensitive sexual topics.

Phone sex exists both in the context of intimate relationships (e.g., among distanced lovers), and as a commercial transaction between a paying customer and a paid professional.

I found the programme quite amusing to be honest. One woman, Jenny Ainslie-Turner gives a rare insight into the tricks used by the women who chat to punters on premium rate sex lines. The programme showed her painting her kitchen while on a call to a man. He was having a wank one side of the phone while she is painting her kitchen wall and saying "can you hear how wet I am?" whilst dipping her brush in the paint. This lady Jenny claims for different calls, she will act as different people. If a man wants to hear an older lady, she will be a 70 year old called Mabel, or to be a teenager she calls herself Elaina. She claims some callers even get aroused by discussing Coronation Street. WOW.
I can imagine it now. "Think about Roy, and his buttered rolls. Ummm are you spreading the butter? Would you like a cup of tea with that? Oooohhh Betty has a steaming hot pot."
The most she has made in a days work was £550. I say work, it is not really work is it?

Lying on your bed, talking dirty and getting paid. Actually an ideal day, no?

One girl in the programme I found to be rather strange. She exercises a lot, does yoga, eats raw foods and nothing that came from an animal and then during a shopping trip buying her veg, she is talking filth! "You can be my toilet paper, I will save money on toilet paper, you can lick it out my ass!"
Umm, was I the only one who gagged at that comment?

Another girl, Marni, only 19 years old found that doing this job she was making herself lots of money which was the main reason she did it. By doing this job, she was able to buy herself a flat and enroll herself into university, something she never thought she would be able to do because of the cost of the tuition. Marni likes the dominatrix side of phone sex. Whenever someone phones her she will act as the mistress and the caller is the slave. One man wanted him to "piss on her" so she ran the tap and made a few noises et voila, he had cum, and the conversation ended.

Obviously, there are a lot of guys out there that call these lines to have a quick chat, get turned on, bash one out and continue with everyday life.

It isn't just sex lines where men pay that are being used. It happens everyday. Either you, or your friend, or someone you know, will participate in a phone sex call. I will freely admit, I have done it. Twice. The first time, I didn't know what to say. The guy knew what he was doing and was really imagining it, you could tell. I was actually put off by him by how he was groaning over the phone. I tried to talk back, but the right words would not come out right. The second guy was a guy I was seeing. He turned me on beyond belief. Everytime I would see him, our chemistry was amazing. When I wasn't with him and wanted to be, we both knew that a cheeky phone call would work.
Having good phone sex is like giving a good blow job. You need to be prepared and know what your doing. Obviously you have to be in the mood before you talk.

Don't be shy to have phone sex. I think it is something all couples should engage in, especially when apart. When in person you are happy to explore eachothers bodies freely, so on the phone you can be racier and say things that you may never actually do, but know it will turn the other person on.

I have come up with some tips that you can use before engaging in a phone sex conversation.

1) Dim the lights, read a dirty novel with a glass of wine and then when you start to get turned on, start playing with yourself.
2) A simple phrase such as, "I wish you were in bed with me now," will get your partners mind wandering and already start wanting you.
3) Girls, this one will really work on your man, tell him how you are undressing, explicitly. Paint a picture for him and it will make him wish he was there.
4) If dirty talk isn't your thing, don't try too hard. Don't act like the porn star from the porno you both watched the other week. Be yourself. Maybe your partner is good at it. If so, let them take the lead and just moan and groan when it feels right.

As a job, I won't deny that I am quite interested to try it out. I reckon I would make a lot of money. :)

Let me know your thoughts..
@LittleMissVak
blogdoll21@gmail.com

Little Miss V..x

Live Sex Show!

Sitting in the second row (not out of choice) at a LIVE Casa Rosso sex show in Amsterdam, I look around to see the other types of people viewing the show I am about to see. Old men, A LOT of Chinese men, girls on a hen do, men on a stag do and other average folk, like me. There are about 100 people all sat in this one dingy theatre about to view the same show. Basically, watching porn, but LIVE!

The first act to grace the stage are a black couple. They start kissing and fondling eachother. He is already naked and she is wearing a little thong and heels. He takes off her thong and there they both are, nude to an audience of 100 people. The first thing I notice is the size of his penis and I wonder how he is going to get that into her as she is quite small. Anywho, they start having sex to one song then the song changes and wham bam thank you mam, about 50% of the men in this place have just jizzed their pants! The song "Just in case" (remix) by Jaheim is playing. To anybody who knows the song, you know the beat. Well, imagine this couple banging to it. 10 seconds in one position, then he has her lifted up, 10 seconds later she is sat on his cock, then he is on his knees while she is in an upside down bridge postition. Whilst watching, I wonder firstly if that is even physically possible?! He makes sure throughout their act that he lovingly kisses her (apparently all the couples performing are actual couples in real life.) Act no 1 = Decent!

They finish their alloted time slot and choreographed act and the curtains close. Two minutes later, act number 2 appears. This is a woman I would say in her 40's with a decent body but a face that would make you want to paper bag her. She is wearing a black leather bikini. She hops across the stage back and forth with some "sexy" dance moves. To me, it was far from sexy and I actually started dozing off. I open my eyes and she is now naked and pulling beads out of her vagina. BORING. Are you telling me I just spent 30 quid to watch a middle aged woman pull beads from her vagina? It better get better than this. Act no 2 = Boring! Off she trots and next is another couple.

He has long hair tied up in a ponytail and has a variety of tattoos over his body. She is average looking, looks a bit like a blow up doll to be honest. After thinking she looks like a blow up doll, she is now being treated like one. This guy is pounding her harder than a Mcdonalds worker pounding on the meat. Sitting two rows from the front not only can your hear them if they talk, but you can hear the smacking of their bodies and genitals together. It is obvious that a spank on the ass is code for change position. Everytime the guy slaps the girls ass, she moves. I look at her face and she genuinely looks like she is in pain. He is throwing her around as if she is a rag doll. He is biting his lip with pride, she is biting her arm in pain. Very uncomfortable to watch. Act no 3 = RAPIST alert!

Off they go, and on comes the cigar smoking girl. She looks young, maybe early 20's and is wearing an awful wig. She dances around the stage up and forth like the previous dancer. After boring us for two minutes (and me thinking nothing but how much I want to give her a nice wig) she takes a cigar and starts smoking it. Then she is on the floor, lying down and in goes the cigar to her vagina. She lifts her body up, breathes in and puffffffff comes a cloud of smoke. She just smoked a cigar through her vagina. The audience gasped and clapped. She then carries on for another two minutes which by this time, has got boring and no one cares any more. Another boring one to watch. Act no 4 = Repetative!

Next thing we hear is the pink panther theme tune and gracing us with her presence is a very beautiful woman in a bra and tiny panties covered by pink fur. Down from the ceiling comes a pole and off comes her fur. She treats us to a pole dance and I have to say, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was incredible. I can imagine every guy in this theatre had a boner. Act no 5 = HOT!

Couple number 3 come to the stage and he is already licking her vagina as the curtains open. This was their main thing. Oral. He also liked to lick his fingers after having them up her minge. I won't lie, as I watched her nosh him off I couldn't help but notice her gag when she deep throated. I don't think many people noticed this. Clearly I was paying too much attention. Any way, as they got on to having sex, my friend and I just started having our own conversation as they bored us to death. Act no 6 = Finger Licking..OK!

OH BANANA OH BANANA.. Here comes act no 2 again, the middle aged bag face woman. This time for the banana show. She once again does a little dance and then comes down to the audience where she looks for some volunteers. They don't know what they are getting themselves into. Up she goes back to the stage with three girls who are on a Hen do and one guy (who was really hot!) They all have a dance and then she lies down, puts a banana (still in its skin) inside her vagina and then starts to unpeel it. She calls each of her volunteers seperately and makes them take a bite of her banana. As the guy (who is the last one) goes to bite it, she holds his head down there. He was in his elemant. A dancing Gorilla with a large plastic penis comes to the stage too and pretends to be wanking off. As he does this, water sprays accross the audience making it look as if he has jizzed. Act no 7 = Put off banana split for life

NEEEENAAAWWWWW NEEEENAAAWWWW on comes a policeman. Amen. A tall, hench black man in his uniform is on stage. All the girls in the audience are cheering. Like the Banana woman, he comes down intot the audience to find a suspect. He then gets a girl up on stage who is the 'Hen' on her hen do with her girls. He makes her take his clothes off, rub cream into his bum and then puts her hands on his penis. He lifts her up and tries to grind with her. She is not having any of it. His thong (yes he was wearing a thong) rips off and he is as flacid as a dead man. FAIL. Act no 8 = Arrest the girl for her lame effort!

Next we have another couple. She is quite pretty and he is less than average looking with an ok body but has moobs. You can tell these two are a couple simply from the way he is making love to her. That's right, they aren't having pounding, dirty sex but he seems to be enjoying making love to her slowly. The look on her face is not as morbid as the other girls. They looked bored or in pain, this one seems to be enjoying it. Maybe she is just a good actress because to be honest, how can you enjoy having sex for 4 minutes every hour for about 8 hours!? Act no 9 = Sweet Love!

Last but not least, we have Little Miss Long Hair. Another girl probably in her early 20's. Dancing around on the stage like banana woman and cigar pussy puffer, she then lay a towel on the stage and gets out two dildos. One she puts in her vagina and one in her ass and then starts playing with it. She was quite hot I will admit that, but if I wanted to see someone play with a dildo, I could just look in the mirror. Act no 10 = major fail.

So all in all, I could say I enjoyed 2 or 3 of the acts. I would however urge people to go and see the show when they are in Amsterdam as it is a great experience and something everyone should see. Put it on your bucket list people.

blogdoll21@gmail.com
@LittleMissVak
www.facebook.com/LittleMissV

Co-Workers With Benefits

I am from a generation of young professionals who often spend more time at the office/workplace than at home. As a result of this, there are a lot of single men and women who don't have the time to meet new people. Naturally, they seek their potential partners within their surrounding environment - the workplace.

You could take Grey's Anatomy for an example. Working long hours within a hospital leaving hardly any hours to socialise, the doctors become close to those around them, building relationships as friends and lovers.

One in three people has a romantic liaison with a colleague and 28 per cent of British working women say they have had sex in the workplace.

I won't lie, I have had quite a few jobs over the years and have had relationships at quite a few of them (does not mean I have slept with them all!) Take the Mayfair Hotel for example. I worked in the Spa for over a year. This hotel is quite big with lots of different departments. From housekeeping, to maintenance, to bar staff, restaurant, porters, chef's and many more. It wasn't long before I had my first encounter with a colleague. His name was Jacques. He was tall, pale skin with dark hair and captivating brown eyes. He was about 12 years older than me and from the moment we met, there was an instant attraction. I would find any excuse possible to go to his department to speak to him. Everytime we did speak, you could see the chemistry between us and how we wanted eachother. One day I was walking through back of house from the spa to the lunch room when I felt a strong hand grab my arm and another over my mouth. I was shocked at first but the moment I saw it was Jacques, I knew something was to happen. He took me into the boiler room of the hotel and we ran to the back of this hot, steamy room full of pipes. Next thing I knew, our clothes were flying off and my legs were wrapped around him. Feeling his lips on my neck made me quiver inside and this moment I had longed for was finally happening. My usual lunch break turned into one of the most gut wrenching and mind blowing orgasms that I have ever had to this day.

There was the time at GAP where I used to sneak up to the stock room to snog David. Or being at a certain office job where Adrian would get in the lift with me and stop it on purpose so he could make out with me.
I will make it clear that none of my work relationships turned into anything serious. All were a bit of fun. Well, apart from Jamie at another office job who did take me on a few dates but it didn't work out.

There are some work relationships that work and turn into something serious. Take my friend Hayley for example. She was working as an assistant to a filming director on an advert when she met Lee, a photographer who was taking pictures for the advert. They got introduced and she tells me from the moment they first started talking, she knew she wanted something to happen. They started dating and 9 months later they moved in together. A year after that they got engaged.

Unfortunately, not all stories can end up like this. There will always be the disastrous few. Take Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky for example. They had "sexual relations" whilst she was working in the White House when he was the President of the USA! After some time of their affair going on, she confided in another colleague who then started secretly taping their conversations. On the tapes were Monica explaining how Billo had shoved a cigar tube into her vagina and talked about the blue dress on which Bill jizzed on. Nice.

So, I have come up with a few do's and don'ts for sex/relationships in the workplace..

DO:
1) Consult your employee handbook if you have one. Some companies actually have policies that forbid relationships between co-workers.
2) Try and keep the sexual activities out of the workplace. Obviously if you are gaggin for the shaggin, do it discreetly.
3) Pick the co workers you want to confide in carefully. You don't want to be telling one person who then spreads it quicker than chlamydia in 16 year olds.
4) Flirt discreetly. Discretion is the key to a successful office romance. Brushing past someone or a stolen glance over the photocopier is far more enticing than draping yourself over his desk.

Don't:
1) Walk out of the office toilets with your dress stuck in your knickers or jizz on your lip.
2) Send flirty emails. A lot of companies have an IT department within the company that can see ALL emails.. They will have a right laugh at you but not just that, you can get in trouble.
3) If you have a fight, don't bring it to the workplace. Leave the bitcing for at home!
4) If he is married, don't bother. He isn't going to leave his wife for you and if you still shag him whilst he is married, you become the ultimate home wrecking whore. Never a good look.

I would love to hear some stories from you guys so please share in the comment box below or email me blogdoll21@gmail.com

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Happy Valentines Day!

Yes, it's that time of year again. Love is in the air and so are lovey-dovey images of hearts, flowers, candy, and cupid.

The history of Valentine's Day, and the story of its patron saint is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt.

So, back in the day, a man did a good deed and he was celebrated. Now, nobody recognises St. Valentine, the man that saved love but people just see Valentines day as another gimicy day to spend money. Personally, that is how I kind of see it. Now I know a lot of you will probably think I am bitter, and to those who know me just know I usually think like a bloke, but what is the necessity of spending so much money over one measley day?

Don't get me wrong, I think going for a nice dinner and maybe a bunch of flowers and chocolates is nice, but going for dinner is something you should do often with your partner. And who needs to be with a partner for a box of chocolates?! Put on PS I Love You, give me a box of chocs and I am sorted.

Statistics show that apart from the amount of money being spent, the next big things to happen on Valentine's day are divorce and pets being bought. Hold on, I thought the saying was "a dog is for life, not just Christmas!?" Clearly now we need to change it to Valentines day at puppies are the animals being bought.

I asked a few friends what their take on Valentines day was..

Carrie: I like to cook for my man on valentines day and give him lots of attention.. I like flowers and to be wooed, he has to buy the presents!

Bill: Valentines day is meant to be for men and women. Why all the emphasis on what he does for her?? If you love your partner February 14th is just another day on the calendar.

Allie: We give our mums attention on mothers day and this is the day for love. You have to let the one you love know it! Boys can believe if they give just that, good and dirty sexy time will follow!!

Rachel: I love Valentines day. I love buying presents and dressing up. I am now two years into my relationship and each Valentines I buy new, sexy underwear to wear for my man. At first I thought it would be really romantic but now it isn't so much. I just expect the presents now and I would be gutted if I didn't get one.

So, after reading what my friends had to say, I was a bit shocked and suprised. Mainly by what Rachel had to say. If you are in a relationship, surely throughout the year there are things you want to do to keep your man pleased. So just on V.day you buy new lingerie to model to him? Just because you are going to stand there in your suspenders does not mean you have the right to recieve a new Tiffany bracelet.

Personally, (if I had a man) I would be happy to celebrate this day of love. Dinner, good film, good sex. DONE. What is more loving than that?! (Ok, maybe add a good porno to the mix!)

Here are some poems to keep you all amused/ happy/ in love bla bla

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted,
bend over love
you're about to get fisted

Roses are stupid,
Violets are silly,
Grease up your flaps,
Cos here comes my willy one for the boys to use of course

Roses are red
Violets are blue
tell me you love me
cos I adore you

Roses are red,
daffodils are yellow
Every nice girl,
needs a nice fellow



So, to those of you in a relationship, enjoy the day of love and learn the history of this 'festival.' Back in the day, a simple love letter was all it took to express feelings. Girls, don't expect too much off your man. Guys, if your girl is needing a bit extra on this day, just do it to avoid arguments.
To those of you that are single, I recommend you take a trip to the shops and meet my boyfriends, Ben and Jerry. They have served me well over the years. They will take away and sad feelings you may have about not having a date on Valetines day.

I would love to hear what you all have to say.
@LittleMissVak
blogdoll21@gmail.com

Happy St.Valentines Day..

Guest Blog by FilmJuiceDating.. How to do 'it' like they do in the movies..

How to do it like they do in the movies

After admiring Little Miss V's up-front an honest blog, she kindly invited us, www.filmjuicedating.com – a dating website for singles into film, to write a guest blog. When pondering on what to write it occurred to us that often our first experience of sex is in the movies. For example, when younger you may have been watching late night TV with your parents or alone, when the two perfectly honed and toned protagonists on screen, who minutes before were simply having a conversation, suddenly start pouting and panting, and before you know it they’ve de-robed, she’s spread eagle and his butt cheeks are most definitely clenched. Tantalised by this brief and face-reddening first encounter, no doubt every film you sneaked into your bedroom afterwards was of the X rated variety. But can sex ever be like it is in the movies? Well, yes and no. We may not all benefit from on-screen retouching (well not that kind anyway!) but at least you’ll actually be doing it and not just acting it (well maybe a little bit) and with a little effort, it’s not impossible to imitate movie-style sex. Here are our tips on how to do it like they do in the movies. WARNING: A little imagination, an adventurous spirit and a few props required.

9 ½ Weeks: Kim Basinger does a strip tease to end all strip teases

While there’s many scenes you could choose to imitate from this fornication filled movie (definitely worth watching for inspiration alone) we’ve opted for the very sultry strip tease Basinger does for Mickey Rouke, this is in the days when he didn’t look like he’d done ten rounds with Mike Tyson (and we most definitely WOULD have). Basinger uses cleverly positioned light, a billowy sheer under-slip and a telephone to tantalise Rouke before baring her nakedness on the fires escape stairs. To imitate pick an upbeat song, don a sexy secretary style skirt suit with a white under-slip and turn down the lights, with only spot lights (lamps will do) on you. Make sure your man is comfortably seated, preferably with popcorn, and move sensually, imitating secretarial duties (like bending over to pick up a pencil), then teasingly remove layer upon layer until you are in the slip only. Flaunt the fact that the lights make the slip see-through and that your nipples are most definitely showing and then run to an outside space (best do this at night) for the big reveal – he’ll be dragging you back to the bedroom in no time! See how Kim Basinger does it 91/2 Weeks here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0HLjhdHSk4

Mr and Mrs Smith: create so much noise the neighbours call the police

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are one of Hollywood’s hottest couples and in this movie you can see the lustful sparkle in both their eyes as they play a couple of assassins tasked with killing each other. In this scene, after chasing each other around the house assassin style, Brad finally gets a hold of Angelina – but instead of shooting her, beaten down and bloodied, he takes her madly against the door frame/ chest of draws and anything else that that makes a good arse or back rest. This one is quite easy to imitate, all you need is an empty house and a raging temperament you can channel into ferocious sex. Next time you argue with your fella turn those angry shoves and obscenities being screamed into ‘take me in the hallway right now’ while ripping his shirt off, let him push you up against the wall and make use of every single space available until you find the perfect spot on the floor. Remember to keep it playfully rough. When finished, take a breather, then do it all over again! If the door-bell rings ignore it – it’s probably the neighbours concerned over the crash and banging! See how Brad Pitt and Angelina do it here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJAMqnZYAIU

Dirty Dancing: Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray simulating sex

In this scene, which is actually deleted from the original movie, Swayze puts on some schmaltzy music in his shabby apartment and gives Jennifer Gray a dance she won’t forget in a hurry. With his top off flaunting his ripped chest and with Gray looking all petite and innocent in her cream silk underwear, Sawyze gyrates her, legs-akimbo, on his by now bulging crotch. Yes, we wouldn’t mind either! It does help that Swayze’s body is a gift from god, but even if your man’s not as gifted in the torso department it can still be sexy to do what is essentially some dry humping – with very good rhythm – before you get down to the real stuff. Start with some suitable music and gently dance together, hips swaying in tune with one another, kiss and spread your hands all over his body. Make yourself light and limber and ready to be swept up on his crotch or thigh for some serious mid air gyrating. Mix it up a bit and go for as long as you can stand it before relenting to the real thing! Enjoy!

Watch Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray do it here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLXOwumUtjI

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