Spit or Swallow?!

There I was, lying by the pool with my friend, relaxing on my vacation to Spain last week. She was telling me about what she had been up to the night before with a sexy Spaniard named Roberto. She met him whilst at a bar. One moment they are talking, the next they are fucking. She told me that whilst it started great, it didn’t end as well as hoped.

Whilst giving him a blow job he yanked her head pushing it lower onto his cock, making the sensation for him amazing yet making it uncomfortable for her. Unfortunately my friend has an AWFUL gag reflex and as he did this she gagged, sat up and told him she didn’t like what he was doing. Fair enough he thought. However, she continued to nosh and he pushed her head again and WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM he spunked in her mouth. Unfortunate moment number two. Instead of swallowing or casually spitting it out, she vomited all over him. A lovely mixture of her pasta arabiata lunch and semen. Afternoon delight. Not! 

Of course, I found this officially one of the funniest stories that I have maybe ever heard, she on the other hand had never been so embarrassed. I then started thinking about the whole “Spit or Swallow” thing and we got deep into conversation about it.

The average volume of each ejaculation is between one teaspoon and one tablespoon. That's about 300 million wriggly little sperm dudes at once. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, not the jizz.

I will be completely honest and admit that I am not a swallower. Firstly, Dr Dukan would not appreciate the intake of calories going into my system but secondly I find the warm, thick, sticky tadpole swimming down my throat thing a bit much, plus sperm burps are not the one! I also have found that guys taste different, and it is true when they say a man’s sperm will taste like whatever he has eaten. Clearly the few that I let have tadpole sleepovers in my mouth were eating dog food or curry! 

If like me you are not keen on swallowing then porn star it out. I have been lucky to have guys that ASK me where they would like to ejaculate. So just say over your tits and face. Guys love that, especially when you rub it in like its massage oil. Plus, true fact here, sperm is GREAT for your skin. It’s like a natural moisturiser. Trust me on this when I say if you have it on your face, your skin will feel like you are pre pubescent again!

To be fair, when you are giving a blow job, it is all about the attitude. Even if you do not enjoy it, pretend like you do. Men are usually quite proud of their penises and everything associated so make him feel like a king.  

I decided to ask some friends what they thought about the whole Spit or Swallow debate..

Jane: I usually swallow because it is easier than getting up and spitting it out. If you are in a bedroom you probably would have to get up to walk to a bin and that means having it in your mouth longer. Forget that, just swallow!

Anthony: I love it when a girl swallows. Makes me feel proud, especially when she has a dirty grin on her face after. Dirty like she is a porn star, not dirty like I taste rank. I think I would be offended if she spat it out.

Tom: Forget it in the mouth, I prefer to spunk on her face or tits! (ß my kind of man)

Nicola: If you spit it might go on the sheets and then you'll have to wash them, and dry them, and put them back on, and honestly I don’t have time for that shit. Obviously I am the laziest blower in the world.

Zara: No way will I swallow. It is just vile. 

Sarah: Apparently per teaspoon there is only 90 calories in it and it contains calcium and zinc and is a protein. So if it’s good in those ways I think you should just accept it and enjoy it. (ß control health freak anyone?!)

If your partner does not ask where you want it, tell him whether you like to swallow or not and if not, where you want it. It won’t put the guy off if you tell him you are not a swallower. If you are not sure what do or it’s an unexpected finale, just pull back and use your hands and let it do its thing. If you are lucky, it will be just your hands you need an antibacterial scrub for. Unlucky and you will have a stinging eye and a trip to A&E.. “umm no Doctor it isn’t conjunctivitis but it does sting!”

I would love to hear all of your thoughts and views on this topic. Email me at blogdoll21@gmail.com or tweet me twitter.com/LittleMissVak or go to my Facebook page facebook.com/LmissV

Little Miss V..x

STD!

A few weeks ago a friend and I took a ‘trip’ to the STD clinic. Just saying the letters S.T.D gives me the hibidejeebees!  We went to our usual one (not like it’s our local hang out or anything) checked in and waited on the uncomfortable, plastic, Chlamydia ridden seats.  It’s funny when you sit in one of these clinics and other people are there because you always try to work out what their symptoms are or what they have. 

There was one guy sitting diagonal to my friend and I and he could not sit still. “CRABS DEFFO!” I shouted to my friend. A few seats down from him, was a girl who must have been only about 16 or 17. Seeing a girl that age with absolute worry on her face was a bit disturbing but at the end of the day, we were all here for the same reason. 

Thinking you may have caught an STD from someone is actually a really disheartening feeling. Makes you mad at the world, or the guy you shagged for passing you something so vile. It is not often that I will have unprotected sex, unless I am with the partner but I guess this was a one off.

After waiting for about five minutes the 16 year old came over to me and my friend and asked if she could sit with us as she was really nervous. She introduced herself as Kelly and we chatted briefly. As she was talking about her college and her boyfriend and her lost oyster card, I started to get wound up and out of nowhere, it came out of me like word vomit.. “so what you here for Kels?”  She became embarrassed and went a bit red. My friend (who is very similar and loud mouthed like me) then asked her “Chlamydia? Crabs? Syphilis? Gonorrhoea? “ Kelly then said she didn’t want to talk about it, so I said “Oh come on, it’s not like you have a condom stuck in you or anything just tell us!”
Well, let me tell you, by the expression on her face, I was reliving her shock and horror! She did in fact have part of the condom stuck inside her and as she knew the guy she slept with was a bit of a player, she thought she might have an STD as well. 

Have you ever been in a situation where you want to laugh to the point where you are rolling on the floor in stitches but can’t because of the situation?! Well, that was me then.  Not only did Kelly have a suspected STD but she had half of the ripped condom stuck inside her. 

Lucky for me at this point my number was called and it was my turn to collect my goods. Oh wait, I’m not as Argos, I’m at the friggin sexual health clinic! When I had booked the appointment, I specifically asked to be seen by Brenda. She is a middle aged blonde lady who makes you crack up laughing even when you have a gigantic lubed up stick in your vagina. I had only been to this clinic once before but trust me, when your legs are high in the air and a random persons head is in your vagina, you need to feel comfortable with them! As I go to my room I am greeted by Dr. Patel, a short Asian man probably about 50 odd. “Hello there Miss” he said to me. I was in shock. Where was Brenda? Where was my funny blonde woman?! Why was there a small man standing in front of me? I told him that I had come to see Brenda but he informed me she was off sick and he was covering her. “Are there any other females I can see?” I asked. His reply was what made me comfortable with him.. “No, everyone is busy today. There is something about the month of June. We are always fully booked. It is as if people see the sun, get the horn and have sex time in the garden, forgetting to use condoms!” What a joker! Ok Dr. Patel let’s go! How wrong about him I was..

So he asks me what I think is wrong or if I have any symptoms. I told him exactly the situation and he asked me to slip off my underwear and sit on the bed with my legs spread and up on the stirrups. So there I am, fully exposed to a man I do not know. Usually, I would not be as bothered by this (if it were a different situation) but this just feels so cringe worthy and I want it to be over ASAP!

Dr. Patel informs me of what he is going to do and then stares at me. Well, not me, but my vagina. He is staring at my fanny like Augustus Gloop stared at Willy Wonkas chocolate river in awe. He looks up and smiles at me. Officially creeped out right now. Then he starts feeling around my insides with a cotton bud he and makes small talk. Is he joking me?! Is he actually trying to talk to me about the weather and ask me if I am excited for the Olympics when he is basically in my vagina!? When the procedure is over he asks me if I have ever had an HIV test. WHAT!? HIV? AIDS? This man is a next level asshole. What is he implying? He can tell by the look on my face that I am angry but then informs me that you never know what someone has caught and if you have unprotected sex you can catch anything. Well yes, I know that Dr. Smartass that is why I am sat here with my beaver in your face. Anyway, I agree to the HIV test which is just a small prick to the finger where they take blood and you get the results back ten minutes later. After that was done, I jumped off the bed, got dressed and went to meet my friend in the waiting room.

I told her what had happened with Dr. TwatFace and she gasped. Next thing I knew he was calling me back for my HIV results. “Don’t worry miss, you don’t have it.” Well thank fuck for that I thought. He then explained to me that if I had an STD the results would be sent in the post. If I didn’t receive anything in 12 days, I am all clear. A month has passed and nothing, AMEN!

I do recommend if you are sexually active, use protection. Even if you are on the pill, use a condom. You never know what disease someone may be carrying.

Little Miss V.. x

PS.. They managed to get the condom out of Kelly and she had Chlamydia!! Shame.

Sex Tape!

When someone says the word ‘sex tape’ you would instantly think of people like Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and more recently, Tulisa. To be honest, I try not to think of any them. If like me you have watched their sex tapes, I am sure you were disappointed.  

‘One night in Paris’  was Paris Hilton’s sex tape. I would rather have one night in a prison cell than deal with that (If I was a guy obviously!) Not only does she pout and make silly childish noises, she made me fall asleep with her fake rubbishness! Onto KimK, I won’t go into detail as it was also another boring sex tape. Tulisa from Ndubz just won her court case against Justin Ultra Edwards who sold a video he recorded on his mobile of her giving him a blowie. HAHA. I have seen babies suck their mothers nipples to get milk better than Tulisa can suck cock. This is coming from me, a girl who has been told she gives a good nosh and I believe I do, so to see the atrociousness of what occurred there, I was mortified. Why would he want to sell that? Was he not truly embarrassed that he was hard and came from that. Maybe he was imagining it to be Catherine Tate dressed as Nan in her programme, that would make a guy spunk more than Tulisa’s blow job!

To some people, being filmed in action can be a thrill. To others, not so much. I have come up with my own set of rules/tips for you to consider when making a naughty tape!

1) Neat and tidy

Not only do I mean having the place you are in to be nice and tidy but I mean yourself. Make sure you are groomed to perfection before you make a sex tape. You are going to want to watch it back with your partner and will be very annoyed if your lady garden looks more like Epping Forrest.

2) Relax

Nobody wants to make a sex tape with someone who is on edge. A sex tape should be natural and easy to do. You want to act as if the camera isn’t even there. So go have a large glass of wine. It will get your blood pumping and make you feel a bit naughtier than usual, meaning you might get a bit dirtier when on camera. 

3) Camera..Action

When making a sex tape, it is all about the camera. You can good recording cameras that you can stand on your drawers or even a tripod but the most popular choices would be things like webcams or mobile phones. You can still get a good video if you film with one of those but make sure it is YOUR camera you are filming it on. I made that mistake. I was seeing a guy for a few months and he decided to film it. Yes, I was basically like Tulisa (but I gave a good nosh!) He recorded it on his Iphone and honestly, I felt like a hot, porn star. I loved the thrill of him getting so turned on by not only me, but the fact he was filming me doing it. A few months later, we were over and he refused to send me the footage. For all I know, I could be a top hit on yourporn!!

4)  Lighting

I for one am not the type to have the lights on when I am getting intimate. I’m not saying I like to bang in pitch darkness but soft lighting would be my preference. As a girl, we have the insecurities that men do not understand in the bedroom (unless if you get a limp dick or sneeze when you come, I would be insecure about that) like cellulite or a wobbly belly, it does not need to be on show. I want you to concentrate on my lips, top and bottom. The same goes when you are making a sex tape. You don’t want your full bedroom lights on and obviously do not want it too dark so the camera can’t pick up what you are doing. Get some candles involved and dim a light if necessary. If you are getting candles, make sure they are scented as A) the aroma of scented candles is known to turn people on and B) no one likes the smell of sexual activities.

5) Have Trust

It is no good pressing record then your partner asking you to get into a position you are not comfortable with and end up having a fight on camera. Discuss beforehand what you are both comfortable with doing and what you want to see at the end result. Do you want her to sit on your face? Do you want him to come on your chest and face or in your mouth? Know what you are doing so you can get the best results!

6) Fancy dress!

Want to make the video but don’t actually want your face to be seen or want a disguise? Play dress up! Not only will it enhance all your wildest dreams and sexual fantasies but it will make the whole experience of making a sex tape way more fun. I’m not suggesting a gimp mask or one of those all in one suits that make you look like a giant jelly belly but something along the lines of wearing some sort of uniform like a nurse or police woman or a white dress and be Marilyn Monroe! Turn yourself into a Russian spy called Natasha and get a wig and do different make up.  There are lots of things you can try and experiment with. New experience makes things hot and from what I know, men love it when a woman is dressed up in something sexy. 

If you have any tips you would like to share or have made a sex tape and want to tell me you can either comment below or tweet me @LittleMissV or even email me blogdoll21@gmail.com

Little Miss V xx

Horniest Countries in the world!

Anyone who knows me, knows the exact type of guys I go for. The Italian Stallion, The Greek God or the Spanish Sizzler. Basically, a hot med type
.
While Euro 2012 was on it gave me time to look at the men in the different countries. Don’t get me wrong, I was watching the football but let’s not kid, I am a woman and I like to look at the hotties running around in shorts. I decided to do some research and look into some countries around the world containing the horniest people or who has the best sex.

Let’s start with the Greek God. According to a Durex survey, Greece is the horniest country in the world! Considering Mykonos is known as ‘The World’s adult playground’ this does not surprise me. I guess this stems back to the ancient days where Eros was named as the Greek God of Love (aka Cupid.) Unfortunately Eros had a tiny cock. (look above) I guess all the Greeks I have been with must be related to him then! So, if visiting Greece, take protection! (And I don’t mean sun tan lotion!!) Horny little fucks!

Over to Brazil now. Of course Brazil is going to be on my list, it is the birthplace of the thong! In Brazil, sex is as essential as breathing and according to a survey, Brazilians have the longest sex, lasting up to 30 minutes. With hotties like Alessandra Ambrosio and Gisele coming from there, you can only imagine what other Brazilian ladies look like. Don’t forget the Carnival in Rio which happens once a year, even your local doctor is out there shaking what her mumma gave her!

Want to join in with a massive orgy? Well look no further than Japan! The Japanese recently set a new world record with over 500 people taking part in an orgy. Imagine the amount of femfresh and fabreeze they would have needed. The sweet high pitched sounds coming out of people’s mouths would have given Mariah Carey a run for her money. Head over to Harajuku (not just a doll/little bitch of Gwen Stefani) a small part of Tokyo and you will find an insane amount of fetish fashion shops. Whips and chains clearly excite them a bit too much.

Just one cornettttoooooo give it to meeeee.. Sorry, there I was thinking I was in Italy. Well, let me tell you that with the rate they get on it, I would like to be. Clearly there is something in Mama’s spaghetti bolognaise sauce because the Italians are going at it like rabbits. Even the OAP’s are known to be youthful in the way they get down and dirty. As they say, “When in Rome, Do as the Roman’s do.” So basically when in Italy, eat your spag bog, cover yourself in olive oil and bang like the footballs going into Buffon’s goal!

 If like me, the sound of a man’s voice can make your lady bits quiver then join me in Espana where we can find men like Javier Bardem. A sexy latino lover is something every girl needs in her life. For the guys too, Jennifer Lopez would be on the top of the list. Drinking sangria and having a siesta really is the life.

Thailand is not all about full moon parties or Island hopping. No, it’s about having a quickie. Thai fucks are known to be the shortest in the world, lasting only about ten minutes max. If I was a bloke out in Thailand I think it would be that quick too after going down on your hot Thai chick to find out she is really a he with a gigantic pork sword. Ladyboy galore!

Paris, the city of love. Numerous amounts of people each year visit the Eiffel Tower to propose to their partners. You would think this city has the smell of love flowing around the streets. Mistaken. The French are known for their uptight attitude towards sex, or anything for that matter. You're best bet is to stay away, not only will you have the most boring sex in the world but a survey has found out that French girls are in the top 5 list in the world of faking an orgasm. Plus, they are hairier than a Turkish man running the portable kebab shop at a festival.

Want to visit a brothel? Head over to Tel Aviv, Israel as there are over 250 shops knocking around. This is interesting for me to read as that is my second home and I didn’t even know this. When I was 18 a friend took me to a sex shop there and I was sure I heard noises coming from the back room, now I know why.

Now look around you. Most of you who will be reading this will be like me, from England where the girls spend all their money on fake tan and eyelashes and the boys spend their time smoking weed or playing fifa. Makes you realise what a shit country we live in. Are the men hot? No. Are the women hot? No. We have a country full of chavs, asbos, caravans and fake Burberry. Eros’ small Greek cock looks so appealing next to an English bloke right now!

Wanna sit on my Face(book) while I suck your Tweet?

 I am a massive fan of social networking sites. If you are reading this blog, it is most likely that it was passed to you through a friend on Facebook or someone you follow on Twitter. It is great to meet new people online and hear about new brands or restaurants etc, but one thing I cannot seem to comprehend is the amount of followers I have on Twitter that also follow girls who get naked and post pictures.

I will be going through my timeline on Twitter when all of a sudden I will see a ReTweet from a bloke of a girl’s tits or vagina. Like yesterday, there were a few that came up with the caption #TittyTuesday. Ok, I know we have #FF (follow Friday) where you can find new people to follow but now we have #MingeMonday, #TittyTuesday, #WankingWednesday, #TittyThursday, #FuckingFriday. So you can image the types of pictures I have seen. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind seeing pictures of the occasional tits or cock but flipping heck, it is becoming more and more visual.

Take Chelsea Ferguson (@ChelsFergo on Twitter) she has over 100,000 followers and why?? Because all she does it tweet pictures of her tits and naked body. I have checked out her pictures and ye, I won’t lie, they aren’t that bad but nothing special at all. She has fake tits and an average body. So pictures of her tits got her 100,000 followers? This is something I just do not understand. Today she tweeted pictures of her bum with a thong on. Do guys truly find that exciting??

I actually tweeted Chelsea who then replied to me with the stupidest comment I have ever received. She called me.. dum dum drum roll please… ‘a jealous hater!’ HAHA! Yes Chelsea, I am a hater. I have drunk two litres of Haterade today. I hate on you because you tweet naked pictures. I am jealous. I wish I was you. Bore off. If I wanted to upload pictures of my tits or minge, I would, but that’s not my thing, (I send them privately haha!) If tweeting naked pictures of yourself brings you satisfaction and makes you happy, go for it. If knowing random, old men are bashing one out in their workplace toilets because you tweeted your tits makes you feel proud, you continue. I bet their mothers are so proud!

Where have the days gone where men would go to a shop and pick up a copy of FHM or Nuts or Zoo and have a wank over the middle page girl or the page 3 girl in the Sun newspaper. Jodie Marsh and Jordan both got famous that way and got PAID! So I am sure their mothers were happy when they were rolling down the hill to the bank.

These girls get nothing from it but followers. I decided to put the titty pic to the test. I tweeted a picture of my cleavage with hash tags of #cleavage #tits #naked #boobs and I received ten new followers who all started sending me dirty messages. One guy messaged me saying “your tits are the bun my dick is the hot dog, I wanna slide it in between!” I instantly threw up in my mouth. Bleurgh. Did he honestly think I was going to get turned on by his message? I replied with a kind “thank you.” Creeped out majorly.

I looked at conversations between these horny mongrels online to find that some of them were having what is known to our generation as “cyber sex.” Here is a conversation I read between two people tweeting. (I won’t use their real twitter names but her name is Tina and his is Frank.)
Frank: That picture you uploaded of your pussy made me so hard baby.
Tina: Ummm baby I am happy you are getting hard for me.. Can I do anything else for you?
Frank: Baby I want you here.. I want you to sit on my juicy fat cock.
Tina: I am imagining it now, I am so wet for you.
Frank: I am going to make you explode around me baby.
Tina: I’m nearly there gorgeous.. ummm just imagining now.
Frank: Keep going. Harder. Ride me.
Tina: Harder harder harder. Wow. I’m done. Thanks baby!

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, one moment, I cannot stop laughing. Well done Frank. You made a girl cum in 8 sentences. You must be so proud. So while Frank is 45 and sitting on his ass in his flat on the dole doing nothing, Tina is at work in her office where she works as a receptionist. As you are probably aware, Tina is basically tweeting the same thing to 2000 other followers for some kicks knowing men like her, while Frank was blatently having a proper wank. Good times!

There are some things in this world worth sharing, like a job promotion or a new baby or even how much you love your partner, but come on people, stop sharing pictures of your vagina which hangs lower than the dusty curtains in your nans flat! Honestly, I saw a picture yesterday of @XamberX8807X vagina with the quote “Hello Kitty,” I thought I was going to see a Hello Kitty purse or bag or an actual cat. Instead what I viewed instead has scarred me for life. It was a picture of her vagina and never in my life did I think one could look like that. It was like a fish’s inside had come out in a shark accident. Check it out. Or don’t. I still feel sick.

One picture that I saw which actually blinded me (and literally could if you are not careful) was the penis of @MakeMeHard12. Girls, that takes two. If you see any pictures worth sharing or funny stories let me know by tweeting me @LittleMissVak or email me, blogdoll21@gmail.com

Have a nice day dolls!

Little Miss V..xx

PS, big shout out to Dash, who has read all of my blogs since 2009 in 2 days!! LEDGE!!

We are young..

The sun was shining So I invited a friend of mine round to join me in a sunbathing session in my garden. I made us a jug of cold lemon and mint juice, got the oil out and put on the tunes.

During our lengthy chat about work and our newest boy-toys we started to reminisce about our youth. Back to the times at a school party where you would dance with a boy but obviously be about four steps apart and just about reach his shoulders. Or your first kiss at an 'evening in.' Or the activities that took place without your parents knowing.

The giggling took over me when I started to remember the things that went on at the evenings in I attended. My first one was the last day of year 6! It was at my friend Mel's house. I was 11 years old, but already felt way older than I was. I shared my first ever kiss with Dean. Dean was the boy all the girls at school loved when he moved to our school in year 4 from South Africa and he was my first kiss. Such a dreamy boy. Such an awful kiss. The mix of gherkins and salt and vinegar in our mouths is a taste that will linger with me for years to come.

At my next evening in at age 12, I ended up in the toilet snogging Daniel whilst he touched my boobies (at that age they are called boobies!) I will never forget the way he held on to them (and by them I mean I had full on B cup breasts.) The way he grabbed them and pushed them around was as if he was honking a horn. At 12, he already had the horn. Or maybe that was me. Spin the bottle was always a popular game. Always a lot of fun until the spotty minger of the group spins you and you HAVE to kiss him. I will never forget one boy that I was made to kiss. I remember trying to back out but my friends telling me I was a bitch if I didn't kiss him. Maybe that's where my bitch tendencies started?! Anywho, I was leaning in and from the corner of my eye saw a pus spot by his mouth and gagged in his face. After that night, I could not look him in the eye, or spot, at school.

By the time I reached year 8 (12,13 years old) I had attended many an evening in. One I will always remember was at Dean's (my first kiss) house. Everyone was there and there were lots of snacks and drinks out and of course, all the girls dressed to impress (aka bandana tops and flared trousers) oh braided hair thanks to Sarah! Half an hour into the evening, I was blindfolded (always knew I was kinky) and all the boys lined up and had to in turn, kiss me. They each had a number and I had to chose who was the best. Sorry, who even made up this game? Well, I wasn't bothered. At the age of 13 I had kissed all the hotties in my school. Go me.

The phase of an evening in soon ended and my best friend Vicky and I would tell our mums we were having dinner with friends but really we were getting on a tube with our fake ID's to Kings Cross to go to a fun bar called backpackers. We would drink vodka and get put on the "dentist chair" which was pushed back and you were fed shots through a tube! It was there I met my first boyfriend Ollie and Vicky went out with his best friend Tom. We would get the tube to Highgate where they lived to hang out with them. I will never forget telling Vicky that I hated the way Ollie kissed and that I thought Tom was hot and wanted to swap! (swingers at aged 14!)

At the age of 15, I went out with my sister to a night club in Central London. It was a celebrity party too and I met Raghav and Jay Sean! I was way too cool to attend such childish house events anymore. I was hanging out with the rich and famous!

If only our mothers knew then what we were up to... Oh how fun it was to be young..

..and ended with a kiss!

My Sunday began by waking up at my best friends house after a drunken night on the town. A trip around Covent Garden and Mayfair and then to a strip club was how my night panned out avec beer, shots and cocktails. As you can imagine, I woke up feeling quite fragile and wanting to curl up on the sofa watching recorded Britain's Got Talent and numerous episodes of Nothing To Declare.

Luckily, I was able to do this for a few hours until my meet up with Nathan. Why I arranged to see him on a Sunday afternoon was beyond me but oh well, no point cancelling now. So, bubble bath done, there I was in my bath towel applying my make up when I get a text from him.. "Really looking forward to seeing you babe!" ORITEEEEEEE steady on love. Has this boy taken a trip to the high mountains of China and become a monk or something? This is not the Nathan I know and remember. I simply reply, "See you soon doll."

 A little while later I am driving to meet him and actually feeling a bit nervous. Now I am not one to get nervous about things but for some reason, I feel on edge about seeing Nathan. The way he seems to have changed is slightly worrying. So I arrive at the pub we were meeting at and there he is, gorgeous as ever. Sitting in the corner wearing jeans and a white tshirt, muscles protruding and his blue eyes shining, I instantly smile. My insides are going crazy. OH MY GOSH, why do I have butterflies?
I walk over to Nathan and he embraces me with a massive hug and kiss on my cheek and tells me how well I look. I sit down and he goes over to the bar to get us some drinks. He comes back with the large glass of Rose I ordered (thought I might need wine to get through this) and sits down and smiles at me. Once again he tells me how good I look and we start talking. I make him aware that I was shocked to recieve his message of missing me and wanting to meet him. Thought that I would bring it up straight away, no need to beat around this hollybush!

"In all honesty babe, you have always been the girl I think about. Even when I have been in relationships in the last year, I have missed you and wanted you to call me or text me even if you were drunk, but just so I knew you were thinking of me. Why haven't you called me?"
As you can imagine, him saying this had two effects on me. Firstly, my mouth dropped. I was shocked. He thinks about me all the time?! WHAT?! Secondly, the butterflies in my stomach have turned into moths and are biting my intestines, or so it feels.

"I haven't called you Nathan because after what happened on our last encounter actually embarassed me and I didn't hear from you. You know what I am like, I move on and get over things quickly, so after you didn't get in contact, I thought our little thing was done!" Phew, I have said it, well done me, ok quick, down some more wine before he continues.

"After that incident, you didn't call me on a drunken night out for ages so I thought you found someone new and didn't want me anymore. Then I had a girlfriend, actually two in a row but that's all ended now. I have missed you!" I am glad I gulped that wine before he said that. Ok, so here I am, sat in total confusion. I take another sip of wine, finish my glass, ask him what he wants to drink and I head to the bar to get us drinks. I needed to step away for a moment to think about what he just said. I return to our table and resume the conversation.

"Nathan, all we ever wanted from eachother was a late night, drunken session. Neither of us ever felt more, neither of us ever wanted more. It was fun, we had banter, but why do you still think of me? Clearly your latest girls haven't had nice cupcakes!"

"No babe, your wrong" he replied.

"Someone has a nicer cupcake than me?!" He laughed.

"No, your cupcake rocked my world. I meant you were wrong in the fact that neither of us wanted more. I wanted more, but I had a feeling you didn't so I never persued anything in the fear of a knockback from you!" I think I am dreaming. Nathan wanted more from me. He still thinks about me. He missed my cupcake and wanted more, or so that is what I am thinking. But I don't like him like that. I wouldn't want anything from him. My cheeks have just flushed a beetroot sort of colour!

"So you let your pride come first?! Wow, your a pussy Nathan!" Oh geez, did I actually just say that? Damn you wine giving me word vomit. His face was full of shock, and he replied..

"Your humour has never failed to amuse me. Let's get out of here, go for a drive!"

Nathan is calling the shots and I don't seem to mind. He has completely dodged the pussy comment, which I suppose I am happy about, that could have got ugly. We get into his car and we are driving down a country lane. For once, the sun is shining in London and its nice to have the window open with a cool breeze blowing onto my face. He parks up by a field, gets out of the car and opens my door. I look at him puzzled. "Yes, I know how to be a gentleman" he replied to my puzzle look face.

He has taken me to what would be known to most as a 'view point' but it is day time and the doggers are asleep. He takes hold of my hand and we go for a walk. I let him hold my hand, like it is natural, like he is my boyfriend. I don't pull away. Oh great, the moths are back and I think they have some worm friends. Our conversation continues and he is making me laugh. I am giggling like a school girl. He stops walking, lets go of my hand, looks at me and hugs me.

"I have something I need to tell you." Oh gosh, please don't tell me you want me. Please don't tell me you want to resume our fling. Please just say you want to be my friend or something.. This is what is going through my head.

"Go on babe, what's up?"

"I know our relationship before was basically built on sex and having a laugh, but I feel like you are such an honest person and I just know I can tell you anything.."

"OK NATHAN! Are you ok?!"

"I'm.... well, I think, ummm, well I am, ummmm.. I'm gay!" I burst out laughing. Not exactly the reaction he was looking for.

"Are you for real Nath?!"

"Yes. Well, I only realised a few months back. I have had one relationship recently with a man but as it is all so new to me, I stopped it. I was scared. I don't know if I like girls anymore. So thats why I have brought you here. I need you to nosh me off, or have sex with me. It was always great when it happened, so I need your help to make me realise!!"

PAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Doll, I do not know where that cock has been. Actually, I do. Up some mans asshole. So no, that is not going in my mouth! You can't actually expect I was going to do it. Ha, you haven't changed, well not completely!!" I said this whole sentence whilst giggling.

"Was worth a try hey! Thank you for listening though. Please don't tell anyone, only a few people know. I can't have this being public knowledge, just yet."

"Your secret is safe with me. Wanna drop me back to my car now?"

"Sure" he replied.

So we drive back to the original pub we met at where my car is parked. We discuss loads of things about his new relationship with a man and how it all started and came to him etc. It was really nice chatting as this was something we never did. We arrive at the pub, I get out of his car and he gets out too. He grabs my face, kisses me tightly on the lips and says thank you. I smile at him and get into my car. As I am about to drive off he is waving at me.
I shout out my window to him, "always remember me when you eat cupcakes" and I winked at him and drove off...