Thursday, 19 May 2011

2 for the price of 1...

11.20am: I recieve a text message from Dean.
"Hi Ilana, are we still on for tonight's dinner? I hope so."
Well this is a first, a guy texting at 11 in the morning to ask if our date for tonight is still on, and he hopes so. He is excited. This is good. Yet, not so good as to be honest, I am not so excited.
I met Dean on a dating site. We have been talking for the past two months. He is tall, awell built, green eyes, golden hair and works in property. Over the phone and texting/emails, we got on well but who knows what it will be like when we actually meet up for the first time.

11.45am: "Hey Dean, I will meet you at the restaurant at 8pm. See you then x. "
Date number one, sorted.

1.46pm: I recieve a text message from Chris.
"Hey Ilana, are we still on for desert tonight?"
Let me introduce you to Chris. Chris is a guy I met a few years ago at a club through mutual friends. He is one of those guys that when I see out we are always happy to see eachother and say how long its been and we should meet up. He is also the guy I kiss when I am out on a drunken night and he is there. Chris is a little taller than me, pale skin, dark hair, dark eyes and quite skinny. He works as an electrician and I won't lie, his personality is as bright as his job!
After re kindling our friendship via Facebook, he decided to tell me that he has always had 'a thing' for me and would like to take me out. I agreed but told him I had a very busy week and could only meet late Wednesday night as I had a meeting before hand. (Little did he know that I was actually going for a date first.) The reason I said Wednesday to Chris as well was because to be honest, I am not that big on dating. So thought if I had already had dinner with Dean, had a few glasses of Vino down me, I would still be up for meeting Chris.

11.52am: "Hey Chris, yeah tonight is still on. See you 9.30ish."

5pm: I left work early so decided to go for a swim to freshen me up before my nightime of activities.

8pm: I arrive at the restaurant on time (for once in my life) and I see Dean already sitting at a table waiting for me. I knew it was him instantly. His golden hair swooped back off of his face and wearing a suit (which makes me melt) I thought this would be a great evening. How wrong was I!! As much as Dean is great to look at, I would have much rather have sat there with ear plugs in. His conversation was as dull as it could be. He tried to boast that his job was very high rated in the property community. There was me thinking, "No love, you are just an Estate Agent!"
Second large glass of wine ordered. The meal was very nice yet instead of listening to Dean, I really put alot of energy into cutting my food in to shapes. I had a lot of fun cutting my chicken in the shapes of hearts and squares and I don't think Dean even noticed me doing this as he was so occupied by the sound of his own voice.

9.15pm: I excuse myself to the ladies room where I text Chris to let him know I have only just left my meeting and will arrive about 15 minutes late. Wow, I have already lied to this guy twice in one day, great start. I have not even left Dean's date yet but need to drive twenty minutes away to meet Chris.
I go back to the table and Dean asks if I would like desert. I tell him that I am so tired and need to get going. We get the bill and obviously I get my purse out but Dean insists that he pays. We walk to our cars and he leans in for a kiss goodbye and I kiss his cheek. The look on his face was to say "I just paid for our dinner and your massive glasses of wine and you give me the cheek?" I told him I had a wonderful evening and we will speak tomorrow. Two more lies.

9.45pm: I arrive to meet Chris 15 minutes late but he didn't seem too bothered. He tells me I seem tipsy (which I am) and once again I lie and say, "Oh yes we had a few bottles of wine on the table at the work dinner meeting." Lied again. I am glad I drank during my date with Dean because I feel much more at ease now with Chris. So we order coffee and I order a slice of bannoffee pie. Obviously I need something to soak up the alcohol.
So Chris and I are getting on swimmingly when he makes me laugh whilst I take a sip of my coffee and I choke. Now my friends and family know that you cannot make me laugh whilst I am drinking as spitting it out is a regular occurance. So I knew it was about to happen so held it in, which lead to me choking on my drink. Luckily, Chris found it really funny which was good. Had I have been with Dean, he probably would have got behind me and said "I am in property, I know how the Heimlich Maneuver!"
Thinking this, I started giggling to myself and had to blame it on the fact that what happened was funny.
So Chris and I finish desert and our coffee and asks if I would like to take a walk. I agreed and we took a nice stroll. At one point, Chris took hold of my hand and I actually had butterflies in my stomach.
He then walked me to my car and leant in for a kiss. Waheyy, two guys trying to kiss me in one night. Instead of kissing his cheek like I did to Dean, I leant forward and kissed his lips. This then lead to a really passionate kiss up against my car.
Let's just say, his friend popped up to say hello. As much as I wanted to carry on this passion filled moment, the last thing I wanted was another stain on the back seat of my car.
I broke free from the tonsil tennis we were playing and told him I had a wonderful time. First bit of truth in the evening.

11.15pm: I am driving home and my phone beeps. It is a text message from Dean. "Hey Ilana, thanks for coming for dinner with me tonight. I had a great time and I think our connection is great. Would you like to go on a second date?x"
Reading this I burst out laughing. I am sat at traffic lights in the car laughing to myself. The guy in the car next to me thinks I am a freak! I feel the urge to reply saying, "Hey Dean, thank you for tonight. To be honest, the best part of my night was cutting shapes in my chicken and I found out that I am really good at it and it could infact be a talent. I really could not sit with you for another minute and talk about how many viewings you go on a day or how you won 'Agent of the month' because to be honest, I would rather sit in a pile of horse cack! I would however like to thank you for paying and also let you know that your hair looked wonderful. Take Care. Ilana."
Oh how I wish I could send that. Instead, I do not reply.

12.30am: I am lying in bed dosing off when my phone beeps. Chris is phoning. I clear it as I am practically half asleep and he leaves a voice message which says, "Hey babe, I really had a good time tonight and want to see you again soon."

This made me smile. I really had a good time and do like Chris. I also liked that fact he was having a party in his pants from just kissing me. He will most certainly be seeing me again soon....



  2. "He is tall, well built, green eyes, golden hair and works in property" - Sounds the sort of person who should be on the Apprentice. All the d**k heads in one place then. If he works in property then probably going bust.

  3. LOVE THIS!!!!!

  4. Nice little story there Ilana. Sounding a bit arrogant but nonetheless confident in your pulling power! I actually found it hilarious to read, poor old Dean will have to live off his riches as a measly estate agent! Fantastic. @officialstevens

  5. Nat @Notanymoore19 May 2011 at 20:46

    All I gotta Say is screw Mr Dickhead..... ur blog is F**kin Great, dean clearly didn't make a party in ur pants so therefore why lead the guy on hehe keep up the fab work chick

  6. Beautiful Little Miss V..

    Your blogs always brighten up my day... Plus i thought the moral of the story was that the cocky arrogant guy didn't get the girl the but the nice guy did... Just the way it should be.

    So to Mr Anonymous if you find nasty and jealousy is all you have then good for you.. Pity you will miss out on all the good stuff..
    This girl is a star... Keep writing and making mine and hundreds of others day.


  7. It really winds me up when a spineless piece of shit comments on a blog and doesn't have the stones to identify themselves. I think the article and the blog in general is brilliant :-)

  8. Woooow!!!! I'm like wide-smile with the Chris part. :)

  9. If you would like an alternative to casually dating girls and trying to figure out the right thing to say...

    If you would prefer to have women pick YOU, instead of spending your nights prowling around in crowded bars and nightclubs...

    Then I encourage you to view this short video to learn a weird little secret that has the potential to get you your very own harem of attractive women:

    Facebook Seduction System...