Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Sex Tape!

When someone says the word ‘sex tape’ you would instantly think of people like Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and more recently, Tulisa. To be honest, I try not to think of any them. If like me you have watched their sex tapes, I am sure you were disappointed.  

‘One night in Paris’  was Paris Hilton’s sex tape. I would rather have one night in a prison cell than deal with that (If I was a guy obviously!) Not only does she pout and make silly childish noises, she made me fall asleep with her fake rubbishness! Onto KimK, I won’t go into detail as it was also another boring sex tape. Tulisa from Ndubz just won her court case against Justin Ultra Edwards who sold a video he recorded on his mobile of her giving him a blowie. HAHA. I have seen babies suck their mothers nipples to get milk better than Tulisa can suck cock. This is coming from me, a girl who has been told she gives a good nosh and I believe I do, so to see the atrociousness of what occurred there, I was mortified. Why would he want to sell that? Was he not truly embarrassed that he was hard and came from that. Maybe he was imagining it to be Catherine Tate dressed as Nan in her programme, that would make a guy spunk more than Tulisa’s blow job!

To some people, being filmed in action can be a thrill. To others, not so much. I have come up with my own set of rules/tips for you to consider when making a naughty tape!

1) Neat and tidy

Not only do I mean having the place you are in to be nice and tidy but I mean yourself. Make sure you are groomed to perfection before you make a sex tape. You are going to want to watch it back with your partner and will be very annoyed if your lady garden looks more like Epping Forrest.

2) Relax

Nobody wants to make a sex tape with someone who is on edge. A sex tape should be natural and easy to do. You want to act as if the camera isn’t even there. So go have a large glass of wine. It will get your blood pumping and make you feel a bit naughtier than usual, meaning you might get a bit dirtier when on camera. 

3) Camera..Action

When making a sex tape, it is all about the camera. You can good recording cameras that you can stand on your drawers or even a tripod but the most popular choices would be things like webcams or mobile phones. You can still get a good video if you film with one of those but make sure it is YOUR camera you are filming it on. I made that mistake. I was seeing a guy for a few months and he decided to film it. Yes, I was basically like Tulisa (but I gave a good nosh!) He recorded it on his Iphone and honestly, I felt like a hot, porn star. I loved the thrill of him getting so turned on by not only me, but the fact he was filming me doing it. A few months later, we were over and he refused to send me the footage. For all I know, I could be a top hit on yourporn!!

4)  Lighting

I for one am not the type to have the lights on when I am getting intimate. I’m not saying I like to bang in pitch darkness but soft lighting would be my preference. As a girl, we have the insecurities that men do not understand in the bedroom (unless if you get a limp dick or sneeze when you come, I would be insecure about that) like cellulite or a wobbly belly, it does not need to be on show. I want you to concentrate on my lips, top and bottom. The same goes when you are making a sex tape. You don’t want your full bedroom lights on and obviously do not want it too dark so the camera can’t pick up what you are doing. Get some candles involved and dim a light if necessary. If you are getting candles, make sure they are scented as A) the aroma of scented candles is known to turn people on and B) no one likes the smell of sexual activities.

5) Have Trust

It is no good pressing record then your partner asking you to get into a position you are not comfortable with and end up having a fight on camera. Discuss beforehand what you are both comfortable with doing and what you want to see at the end result. Do you want her to sit on your face? Do you want him to come on your chest and face or in your mouth? Know what you are doing so you can get the best results!

6) Fancy dress!

Want to make the video but don’t actually want your face to be seen or want a disguise? Play dress up! Not only will it enhance all your wildest dreams and sexual fantasies but it will make the whole experience of making a sex tape way more fun. I’m not suggesting a gimp mask or one of those all in one suits that make you look like a giant jelly belly but something along the lines of wearing some sort of uniform like a nurse or police woman or a white dress and be Marilyn Monroe! Turn yourself into a Russian spy called Natasha and get a wig and do different make up.  There are lots of things you can try and experiment with. New experience makes things hot and from what I know, men love it when a woman is dressed up in something sexy. 

If you have any tips you would like to share or have made a sex tape and want to tell me you can either comment below or tweet me @LittleMissV or even email me

Little Miss V xx

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Horniest Countries in the world!

Anyone who knows me, knows the exact type of guys I go for. The Italian Stallion, The Greek God or the Spanish Sizzler. Basically, a hot med type
While Euro 2012 was on it gave me time to look at the men in the different countries. Don’t get me wrong, I was watching the football but let’s not kid, I am a woman and I like to look at the hotties running around in shorts. I decided to do some research and look into some countries around the world containing the horniest people or who has the best sex.

Let’s start with the Greek God. According to a Durex survey, Greece is the horniest country in the world! Considering Mykonos is known as ‘The World’s adult playground’ this does not surprise me. I guess this stems back to the ancient days where Eros was named as the Greek God of Love (aka Cupid.) Unfortunately Eros had a tiny cock. (look above) I guess all the Greeks I have been with must be related to him then! So, if visiting Greece, take protection! (And I don’t mean sun tan lotion!!) Horny little fucks!

Over to Brazil now. Of course Brazil is going to be on my list, it is the birthplace of the thong! In Brazil, sex is as essential as breathing and according to a survey, Brazilians have the longest sex, lasting up to 30 minutes. With hotties like Alessandra Ambrosio and Gisele coming from there, you can only imagine what other Brazilian ladies look like. Don’t forget the Carnival in Rio which happens once a year, even your local doctor is out there shaking what her mumma gave her!

Want to join in with a massive orgy? Well look no further than Japan! The Japanese recently set a new world record with over 500 people taking part in an orgy. Imagine the amount of femfresh and fabreeze they would have needed. The sweet high pitched sounds coming out of people’s mouths would have given Mariah Carey a run for her money. Head over to Harajuku (not just a doll/little bitch of Gwen Stefani) a small part of Tokyo and you will find an insane amount of fetish fashion shops. Whips and chains clearly excite them a bit too much.

Just one cornettttoooooo give it to meeeee.. Sorry, there I was thinking I was in Italy. Well, let me tell you that with the rate they get on it, I would like to be. Clearly there is something in Mama’s spaghetti bolognaise sauce because the Italians are going at it like rabbits. Even the OAP’s are known to be youthful in the way they get down and dirty. As they say, “When in Rome, Do as the Roman’s do.” So basically when in Italy, eat your spag bog, cover yourself in olive oil and bang like the footballs going into Buffon’s goal!

 If like me, the sound of a man’s voice can make your lady bits quiver then join me in Espana where we can find men like Javier Bardem. A sexy latino lover is something every girl needs in her life. For the guys too, Jennifer Lopez would be on the top of the list. Drinking sangria and having a siesta really is the life.

Thailand is not all about full moon parties or Island hopping. No, it’s about having a quickie. Thai fucks are known to be the shortest in the world, lasting only about ten minutes max. If I was a bloke out in Thailand I think it would be that quick too after going down on your hot Thai chick to find out she is really a he with a gigantic pork sword. Ladyboy galore!

Paris, the city of love. Numerous amounts of people each year visit the Eiffel Tower to propose to their partners. You would think this city has the smell of love flowing around the streets. Mistaken. The French are known for their uptight attitude towards sex, or anything for that matter. You're best bet is to stay away, not only will you have the most boring sex in the world but a survey has found out that French girls are in the top 5 list in the world of faking an orgasm. Plus, they are hairier than a Turkish man running the portable kebab shop at a festival.

Want to visit a brothel? Head over to Tel Aviv, Israel as there are over 250 shops knocking around. This is interesting for me to read as that is my second home and I didn’t even know this. When I was 18 a friend took me to a sex shop there and I was sure I heard noises coming from the back room, now I know why.

Now look around you. Most of you who will be reading this will be like me, from England where the girls spend all their money on fake tan and eyelashes and the boys spend their time smoking weed or playing fifa. Makes you realise what a shit country we live in. Are the men hot? No. Are the women hot? No. We have a country full of chavs, asbos, caravans and fake Burberry. Eros’ small Greek cock looks so appealing next to an English bloke right now!