Friday, 11 January 2013

I'm A Porn Star!

Hey dolls,

Ok, so I'm not actually a porn star but after a little conversation (actually a massive one that included two bottles of red wine and many a laugh) with a few of my girl friends, we got to thinking that there are certain things we now do in the bedroom because of things we have seen in porn.

For example, I slept with this guy a little while ago and we got into doggy style. Back lowered, head up, I then turned my head in a seductive, porn star kind of way I had never done before. Why? Because I had seen a girl do it in a porn movie and in that moment of pure filthy head turning, he came. Wow. What power I felt I had!

My friend Kate then started telling us about the way she gave a blowie. She has always been told she was a great nosher but after watching a porn film, she learnt a new trick. So there she is, one hand on shaft, one on balls, licking and sucking, she seductively looks up at the guy with these "come to bed" eyes which instantly turned him on more. After seeing her do that his words were "I want you more than ever" and according to our little Kate, it was one of the best shags of her life!

As much as some of us find watching porn to be a useful thing i.e putting moves into use in our own bedrooms (or other places you like to do it) I think some people find it to dampen the mood, not the sheets. 

Take Georgie, a happy, bubbly friend of mine. A pretty size 12 girl. She is not an adventurous kind of girl and after her boyfriend started watching more and more porn it took a strain on their relationship. She was happy with a few positions and enjoyed making love to her boyfriend, under the duvet to add. He wanted to be more adventurous and try things he had seen in porn films but due to her already having body insecurities she did not want to and in the end their sex life was basically non existent. The relationship soon failed and they broke up. Soon after the break up he slept around and found some dutty skanks and has passed on chlamydia. After his sleeping around sessions, he realised most girls are not like porn stars and tried to win Georgie back! Bye bye son, you can take your rotten chlamydiafied penis back to your bedroom and have a sesh with your right hand!

Back in the day, the only kind of pornography a man would see would be in a top shelf magazine. Boys would steal their older brothers stash and show it in the playground at school. Now, the internet is such an easy thing to use, kids as young as 10 are watching online porn sites. I know this for a fact as a friend of mine caught his little brother watching on his iPad. Surely this kid will grow up thinking all girls should be a size 6-8 with perfect round tits. A kid that age should be riding a bike and getting caught in stinging nettles, not watching a video of a threesome!

I think with books like "50 Shades Of Grey" women are bored of their 'vanilla' sex lives and want to shift it up a gear so are going on to these porn websites to get a glimpse of something a bit raunchier.

I decided to do some research on the subject and found out that there has been an increase in 'labiaplasty' surgery and more girls are suffering from body dismorphia disorders. Listen, I have watched a fair share of porn. The girls in most of the films I have seen are the ones who need something done with their labias. I mean really, who wants to see a droopy minge? Their beef curtains are hanging lower than their grandma's tits. If I had a vagina like that, I would be straight down to the plastic surgeons office and would not be making porn videos! So to find out that lots of women are having surgery because of the vaginas they have seen on porn is beyond me because I have only seen ones that would make me run away if I was a guy. Ok, I exaggerated a tiny bit, I have seen maybe one or two nice ones..

I would like to point out something to my male readers now.. Just because you have witnessed a porno with a girl enjoying anal, moaning and screaming like she is going to explode into an orgasm so intense it is out of this world, does not mean the rest of us normal brady bunchers are going to like it. She probably did not enjoy it because it really is not that enjoyable. You men may like it because it feels tighter, but I can guarentee you that 80% of women feel like they are going to shit on your cock. If you are gay, it is your only option and I hope you enjoy it, but if you are straight USE THE FANNY!!!!! It was built by God for you penis planters to enjoy. (Just use a condom!)

Here I have found a list of the 100 Hottest porn stars around the world. Have a little look and go check out some of their videos!

If you are one who does not really view porn and wants to, or just needs to know some good websites, here is a top 5 list..
4) (this one has a huge variety to chose from including BDSM & a chubby section for all u chubby chasers)

Hope you enjoyed the post.. Send me thoughts :) 

Little Miss V..x