Sunday, 1 March 2015

New Blog Page!!

Hey guys,

I wanted to thank you all for being so supportive to me and this blog.
As I have had it since 2009, I decided to give my blog a make over and re brand..
For all of my posts, you can now follow my new blog page


Sunday, 1 February 2015

Mood Killers!

Have you ever been in a situation in the bedroom where it is great until one thing ruined it? Well, that is what a friend of mine and I were discussing the other day when she had a bit of a bad time with a guy. She had been dating this guy for a few weeks and she was really enjoying her time with him until one night, mid sex, he said, “we could be making babies right now.”
Instantly she was put off by this. It made me laugh so much that someone would say such a thing during sex.

So I decided to come up with my very own list of sex mood killers. The following are things I have noticed myself or happened to me whilst having sex or things my friends have told me. Y’all know I like to do my market research J

1)      Is it in yet?

Probably one of the worst mood killers EVER!! This is one that happened to me a few years back. At the time I was not so sexually active/knowledgeable and he was holding my hands with his and started banging away. I couldn’t feel much and I remember saying, “put it in already,” to which he responded, “It is in.” OOPS. Well, that one didn’t last long. LITERALLY.

2)      Who let the dogs out?

Got a cat or a dog? Do they like to watch you have sex? Do you feel awkward if your pet is watching? My dog Lula is highly attached and terrorizes any male that steps into my house.  Wouldn’t bother me so much to be honest but I know some people that find it very uncomfortable.

3)      Man in the mirror.

Ever been distracted by your own reflection? One of my best friends has a giant closet in her room that has a mirror on it so she can see herself when she is in bed. A while back she was having sex with this guy and for her; it was not an issue at all. For him, he kept getting irritated by it and hated it until she made him relax at the thought of it and then, started to bang her and look in the mirror the rest of the session. She said he was making it seem as if he was in a porno. Amazing!

4)      But first, let me take a selfie.

Umm, no, please don’t take a selfie of our after sex look. I am a queen of selfies, if you follow me on Instagram (@lalavak) you will see so, but even I am not one for the after sex selfie. Why?! So everyone can see you are getting laid? My bed hair and red cheeks can stay in the bedroom cheers.

5)      When Harry met Sally..

I have to say, this is something that really gets to me. Funny facial expressions and men’s noises. I genuinely crack up anytime I am with someone who has funny facial expressions in the bedroom. There was a guy once who had a quivering bottom lip. Yes, you read correctly. His bottom lip would quiver and he would make these awkward noises everytime he was about to cum! A friend of mine told me that he was hooking up with a girl once who not only would do this weird thing with her eyes but would scream so loudly, he had to shove his fist in her mouth or put a pillow over her head as it was so distracting for him. Hysterical!

6)      Everybody’s shuffling!

Never, I repeat NEVER leave your itunes on shuffle when having sex. Yes it starts great when R Kelly sex in the bedroom and Ginuwine  pony come on but then it skips to Westlife flying without wings or Atomic Kitten the tide is high and BOOM, the mood has gone and you both are laying there like ummm what now?! You genuinely do not know whether to laugh and make a joke from it or get up and run away.

7)      High Five!

I will be honest, for me, this is not such a mood killer. Maybe because I can at times be a bit of a nerd or an awkward person, but for some of my friends, this is a major oi va voy! One of my girls expressed her absolute cringe out of this when she hooked up with this cutie. She was on top and he came and was so excited he high fived her and she was not too pleased. My ex and I high fived each other once after a really good sesh and both found it hysterical. Each to their own.

8)      Say my name say my name..

Yeah, umm that is not my name! A very awkward moment I can imagine when having sex with someone and they call you by the wrong name. I think this is one that guys do more than girls. I don’t know any girl that has said the wrong guy’s name but one of my boys told me once that he said 3 names until he got to the right one and she pushed him off her, got up, put her clothes on and left his place. OUCH!

9)      Call on me, call on me..

What is possibly one of the worst things that could ever happen to you while you are having sex? This one is worse than a condom splitting, or one of you crying mid sex.. Leaving your phone on the bed and accidently calling someone. What would be the worst thing about that situation? Yeah, calling your parents’ house line. I will end it there. Goodnight.

10)   Goodnight sweetheart well it’s time to go..

There comes a time in every guy or girls life where you have got really drunk and ended up with someone at one of your places, started having sex and though you are really enjoying it, start to fall asleep. We all need some good shut eye, especially after a drunken night out, but at least try and enjoy the session without yawning, embarrassing or what!

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..xx



Wednesday, 21 January 2015

The Mighty O!

Earlier this week I was passed an article named “The Vaginal Orgasm Does Not Exist!”
It amused me to read that as an opening title as earlier last week, my girls and I were discussing orgasms.  Then I had a think, how different are men and women when it comes to orgasms?

I decided to research into this subject further and what was the first thing I read? ‘Men have a higher sex drive than women, pushing them to orgasm more often.’ I mean, really? As if we didn’t know that. By the amount of dick pictures I receive and how often men whip them out, it is beyond me that some of them still have full time jobs.

Anyway, further into my research I found out that the average man thinks about sex 34 times a day while for a woman, it is only 9. Now we all know I am not your average kind of girl, so I probably do think about sex around that a day (or more) but 34?! How does someone think about sex 34 times a day? No wonder why men never remember anything, they have been too busy in the day thinking about sex and bashing one out at the toilet at work!

Back to orgasms though, it seems as though it can be quite similar for both sex in terms of sensation and duration. Women have described the sensations of orgasm as beginning with a sense of suspension, quickly followed by an intensely pleasurable feeling that usually begins at the clitoris and spreads throughout the pelvis. The genitals are often described as becoming warm, electric or tingly, and these physical sensations usually spread through some portion of the body. Most women also feel muscle contractions in their vagina or lower pelvis, often described as "pelvic throbbing". Similarly, the male orgasm begins with a deep warmth or pressure that corresponds the point when ejaculation cannot be stopped. It is then felt as sharp, intensely pleasurable contractions involving the pelvic muscles, rectum and genitals. Finally, a warm rush of fluid or a shooting sensation is felt whilst semen is ejaculated.

The reason the article I was shown wrote that the vaginal orgasm doesn’t exist is because it has come to show that like I mentioned above, it is the clitoris that holds the key to female pleasure. Don’t know about all you ladies out there, but I am sure I can vouch for most females that when they have had an orgasm it is because the correct female erectile organs were effectively stimulated.

Well, you would know unless you have been hooking up with those guys who finger you as if they are stuffing a turkey, basically seeing how many fingers he can get up there without even paying any attention to the clit, the part that gets us going. Guys, remember, if you want to treat the vagina like a turkey, don’t forget the giblet!

To make you aware, you can release fluid (cum) without having an orgasm. Men, ever felt like you were going to cum and you reached that point and then released and nothing came out? Well congratulations, you had an orgasm without cum. It happens! Ladies, if you thought it was just you that doesn’t orgasm often, don’t worry, most women don’t orgasm every time they have sex. Yes we can cum often, but to have a mind blown, out of this world, blackout kind of orgasm is rare. Probably because men don’t know to stimulate the clit!!

If you are in a relationship, you would have learnt what gets you going and what brings you to the point of exhilaration. If not, try a friction position. This may help you have an orgasm during sex. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clit is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Let your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what feels great or by moaning.

Ladies, you can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you on. To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate! It’s the best way to learn what you will like. If you need some help in the form of a battery operated friend for some alone time, I highly recommend Vibrator Kingdom. They have products like no other site I have come across.

Check out their site
One of my favorite product of theirs is the Fairy Baby vibe, it even comes with a rechargeable USB lead.  and check out this one in their new range

If you have any comments on this subject I would love to hear your thoughts.

Ps.. Ladies, don’t forget to do your kegel exercises!

Email me
Tweet me @LittleMissVak


Lots of Love..

Little Miss V..x


Sunday, 4 January 2015

Things women do on a date!

Have you ever come back from a date and wondered why you did certain things? Like, could the date have gone better if you did something different? I went on a date not so long ago, the guy took me for dinner and I noticed myself having habits that I am actually now sure, most women have.

The menu

We went for dinner to a vegan restaurant - he knows I was vegan and am now veganarian (eat fish and eggs, no meat or dairy) so he chose the place which I liked. Anyway, if any of you reading have been to a vegan restaurant, you will know that the menu isn’t your simple Ceaser salad or burger and chips. No no, everything is slightly more complex. So usually on a date you look at the menu and start analyzing, like is that too expensive? If I get and burger and fries will he think I am an obese pig? But if I get a salad I will still be hungry and want desert.. etc etc, you know what I mean. Here, I was trying to decide if the cashew parmesan for the spelt pasta will get stuck in my teeth or the cress from the god knows what sandwich it was, get stuck down my throat. Anyway, whilst thinking about all of this, he was talking and talking and all I wanted to do was scan the menu!


Have you realised, when you go on a date you make extra effort? Usually, and do not deny, you spend 80% of your time home in your pjs and even when going out, jeans and a t-shirt with bed hair, but for a date it’s much more effort spent, extra time on the makeup and you even blow dry your hair, all for someone you may never see again!


Whilst on this date, and actually others, I try to do a full once over look. What kind of shoes is he wearing? Does he have dirt in his finger nails? Does he slurp when he drinks or eats with his mouth open? Obviously, these are all put off signs. Did he talk about his family? Love his mum? He is a keeper!

Awkward silence!

THE WORST EVER!! Honestly, there is nothing I hate more than when you are on a date and it goes silent. Both of you sit there wondering if the other will say something and then when they don’t, you make sure you do so it doesn’t stay awks for too long.


For some people, the conversation gets going and doesn’t stop. But sometimes, you have to think before you speak. Will he find my job interesting? Will he remember the names of all my girls I have talked about? This guy blurted out some gibberish about his ex-girlfriend and straight away, I was put off. He kept trying to get around it though after.

 Phone down!

As women, we love our phones and love to be social, but unless it is your emergency person calling to help you get out of the date, do not answer any other phone calls. You would be pissed off if he did. You wanna update your friends? Pop to the bathroom and message them ASAP!


Talking of keeping your phone away unless you need it to call your “Bail me out of date” person. I think most of us have bailed on a date. I have, twice. Both in the last year actually. One I used the excuse that I felt dizzy and needed to go home, and the other, well I told him I was a transgender going through my change and still had a dick.. True story!


Have you ever been on date and you got butterflies because you thought “WOW, he could be the one!?” Yeah, I am sure many of you reading said no. It is not something that happens often. When it does, it is great and you want a second date as soon as possible, but if it hasn’t happened by date three, move on. I blame Disney for this whole butterfly thing. You know, as a kid you watched these movies and there was always a happy ever after with birds and butterflies. These days it is more like rats and insects!

Smart Ass

For some reason, when I go on a date, I try to talk about what is going on in the news at the time, just to try and seem a bit smarter. I know you ladies reading do the same. Guys, I have just given away a big secret. But tis true, we do like to pretend we are smarter than we are. Remember girls, if he asks you a question on a subject you know nothing about, change subject by asking him a question. Men are dumb, he will never even realise.


I am always late. When I die, I will probably be late for my own funeral. I cannot help it. Sometimes it is just fashionably late, sometimes, late late! When late to a date, it isn’t actually because we are trying to be fashionable. It is more like we are scatter brained, indecisive and spent 45 minutes trying to find the perfect outfit.
I hope when reading this you found some similarities to yourselves.
If you have anything to add, just let me know at
Lots of Love..
Little Miss V..x