Monday, 22 November 2010

I'm NOT a Celeb Get me outta here!!

Hey Dolls,

Sorry I have been lacking in blogs.. I have been uber busy!

Im gonna get straight to the points in TV that everyone has been talking about!

First off, lets start with The fiX Factor.. So, last week, my one true love, Aiden Grimshaw, was booted off the show. So, X factor producers, if we thought it was a fix with TreyC leaving, what do you think we make of this one? I mean, for real?! He was one of the best singers in the show and now he is out. I hate when people say "well if you liked them, you should have voted!" I will make you aware, I did vote for Aiden actually!

During the past week, the tensions in the X factor house were high. Matt (who was best mates with Aiden) had a screaming contest with Wagner (the pirate as I like to call him) stating that he is a joke and cannot sing and should not be there. Then it emerged that Louis from One Direction also had a fight with the Pirate and told him he could not sing and it was not fair. Wagner then tried to have a sing off with Louis who told him to get lost. The arguing got so bad, Wagner was moved to a hotel in Borehamwood which is 5 minutes from where the contestants house is. In my opinion, if the producers fix it, get Wagner out. He is causing tensions between the judges and housemates and the whole of the UK is in outrage!
I have seen groups on Facebook saying vote for Wagner as it is all a fix and people want him to win just like they made groups for Rage against Music last year who recieved the Christmas no1! To the people who make these groups, BORE OFF! You are pathetic and childish. The more you vote for this Pirate, the less chance it gives a contestant who can really sing, a chance of winning.

As for this weeks X factor.. BEATLES WEEK! I love the Beatles so was really happy and excited to be hearing their music. Matt, once again performed incredibly. I was dissappointed in Rebecca to be honest as her song was so predictable and she sounded the same as every week. I think Cher did a great performance as did One Direction. The others made me bored to be honest. I was so shocked to see Katie's new hair do. Who does she think she is, Emma Watson? Unfortunately, Katie has a face like a witch. She has a pointy chin and an annoying mouth. With a hair cut like this, it draws more attention to that horrific sight and now she looks more like Frodo! Also, whilst on the subject of Katie, all I can say is HAHA! I'm sorry but imagine waking up one day to find out that your 80 year old nan is a HOOKER! Not only has Katie been terrorised, sent death threats and had her hair chopped off, she now found out her favourite nan, nanny Vogel is a prozzie! I read the article and just laughed. Shame.

On to the results this week. Cher in the bottom two? I understand Paije being there. He was not able to reach his full potential. Had he been on American Idol, they would have notice his voice to be similar to the likes of Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder etc yet here in London, he was given the most ridiculous song choices which did nothing for him. Dannii Minogue, you lose a point love! He did well in the sing off though yet Cher was bound to stay in. Her save me song was great and she has a lot of talent and a lot to give. When Dermot asked Paije why he thought he was leaving, Paije replied "I think it is because I don't have a lot of followers!" To which the audience booed and shouted you do and one audience member shouted "Blame Louis!" Obviously for choosing the Pirate! Oh well, another one bites the dust.

So, what else have we all been watching? Yes, you guessed it. Im a celebrity. This programme makes me laugh. Mainly down to the pure face that half of them are hardly celebrities or even known. I love how Aggro Santos went in. He has had one massive tune and he is straight in there. I like him. I also LOVE Stacey Soloman. She is just too funny and cracks me up. The one person the nation cannot stop talking about is Quasimodo aka Gilian McKeith. She has a phobia of spiders and hates creepy crawlies. Hmmm, ok, so.. WHAT THE FLIPPIN HECK ARE YOU DOING IN A JUNGLE YOU NUTTER?! She has fainted three times and the latest one was last night during a LIVE showing. It was television at its best. So Linford Christie did the task and what a legend. He got 12 stars out of 13 and did that task like a trooper!
Newest news on the show is that Nigel Havers has quit. It was after he told he was going to get electrcuted in a task - which was hysterical! I like Kayla a lot. She seems really sweet and genuine and according to newspapers, she turned to play boy modelling to rebel against her strict Christian upbringing. Wow, way to rebel hey!
I was most happy when Alison came into the Jungle. She is big, loud and too funny. I think the camp will do well having her there. By the way, does anyone know who that Shaun dude is? Apparently he is a music legend but I do not know a thing about him!

Well, I think that is enough input from me but I would love to hear your thoughts and views. Please leave comments below!

Lotsa love..

Little Miss V..xx

Thursday, 11 November 2010

TOWIE & The FIX Factor!!

Hey Dolls,

How are we all? Well I hope!

Ok, let me start by saying that I am gutted that The Only Way Is Essex is not on again until Christmas! I know when I first did a blog about it, I slagged it, but I will be honest with you, it became my weekly guilty pleasure. I am going to miss hearing Harry say "shuuuuuuuupp" or Amy saying "Hi hunny, you ok babe? ok hunny!" I will also miss Sam's awful acting. I think she is very pretty though. My favourite character has to be Lauren. At first I despised her, but deep down she seems pretty cool. She acts tough and a bitch but I think it is because of being hurt by Mark, but they still love eachother. I hope they get back together.
I felt sorry for little Lucy though, she felt like a right mug! Well, Lucy, if I were you, I would feel like a mug too. It took asking Lauren about the rumours to know she was being cheated on and even after confronting Mark, he lied to her. She stood there and asked Lauren if she felt bad knowing Lucy was seeing Mark and Lauren just did not care. LOVE IT! Mark deffinately still loves Lauren and does not want her to go to Dubai.
It's a bit like the Hills gone wrong though isn't it. She told him if its over she will leave. Like in the Hills, Kristen went up to Brody and said if it is over tell me. It was over. So she said she would move away for a while to Europe. I reckon, come Christmas,Lauren will go to the airport and Mark will go there to stop her and they will all live happily ever after.
Actually, I have changed my mind on favourite character. It is Nanny Pat. Was she not just amazing?! Always ironing for Mark, bringing him pies and supporting him. So sweet.
As for Mark's sister Jessica, I think she was so pretty but her girl group LOLA are ridiculous. They do not look right together and are not great singers either.
I am happy Amy and Kirk became friends again last night. Gotta love them both. What do we think about Kirk and Lauren Pope? I hope it is for real because Kirk seems like such a sweet decent guy, and let's be honest, Popey is hot!
Oh, we can't forget Arg. How cute is he? Such a gimp! I love how he said to Mark last night "Mark, even if you don't win, don't worry about it. I still think your a winner even if you lose!" He is Mark's biggest fan and best friend. Too cute!!
I was gutted to see Kirk get so hurt in the boxing. I was offered tickets to go to the match but boxing is not my thing and I would not have been able to watch. Felt sick for kirk watching over the TV!

Ok, how about X Factor last weekend?!
I will be honest, I wanted Katie to stay over TreyC (awful spelling of the name) but it was wrongly done and unfair. Cheryl was told not to vote. Even Dermot admitted moments before it happened that the producers told him to make sure Cheryl does not vote so that Katie can stay in, even though she recieved the lowest public votes. I personally think it is all becoming a bit of a joke. I watch the X factor to watch real potential and watch the great singers like Aiden and Matt and Rebecca but we are forced to also watch people like Wagner who offends me more than off milk in my fridge! It is a joke that he is still there and is recieving votes. I just do not get it.
Matt was absolutely incredible on saturday singing "The first time I ever saw your face!" A true classic and lovely song, he made it his own and sang it beautifully. He deserved the standing O but the judges. Rebecca, what a gorgeous girl. She seems so sweet and divine and I love her voice. It reminds me of the Billy Holiday kind of singers in Jazz clubs.
Aiden has to be my favourite. I love his voice. The strange character he is, he sings with emotion and passion and he is my winner this year.
I have a lot of love for One Direction as well. They are so cute and I can see them going far. If I was a little girl, I would most deffinately have a Zain poster in my room :)

This week is Elton John week, one of my loving living legends. "I guess that's why they call it the blues" is my favourite Elton song so I hope one of them sings it. It will be an interesting week. So, until then Dolls.

I would love to hear your feedback and comments.

Please get in touch. Twitter @IlanaVak .. Email:

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Thursday, 4 November 2010

WANTED: Eligible Bachelor for this lovely lady..

Hey Dolls,

Now, I know this is so different to my usual blogs but lets give it a shot!

Little Miss V is becoming a match maker!!

The above pictures are of my gorgeous friend Claudia. Claudia is bored of being single and thinks it is time to find a boyfriend, or at least a winter boyfriend, someone to snuggle with on these cold, winter nights.

Claudia is 21, a beauty therapist (she is great with her hands) and is very family oriented. She loves going out partying and has lots of friends. She has a big heart and is very caring. She loves gossip magazines but likes a good deep book as well. She likes romantic dinners and loves a good horror movie.

The kind of guy I would like to match Claudia with must be taller than her so about 5'8 and over. Preferably muscly or work out (she likes them fit) He needs to be funny and have a good sense of humour as Claudia is too a bit of a joker. He should be caring and warm, slightly sensitive but manly too. He must be employed (if you are unemployed please do not apply!) All in all, i want a nice, decent guy for my lovely girl friend.

If you think you have these qualities or know some one who does, get them to email me with a picture to and I will arrange a date!

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Hairy Hairy Quite Contrary?

Hey Dolls,

How are we?

Sorry its been a while! Thats what happens when work gives you a lot of responsibilities! But I will always come back to my love, my blog!

So, earlier on today, my friend and i were discussing men (as we do all the time) and whether we like hairy guys aka natural or the barbie look of shaven. She likes clean and I like hairy. Don't get me wrong, I don't want wolf man as my boyfriend or wanna spoon with a fur rug, but I like a guy with hair. Its natural and manly!
My friend on the other hand said she likes to lie next to a guy and rub his chest and not feel anything. Well doll, unless your lying next to a twelve year old or a dolphin, your gonna feel something.

According to a new research, 85% of women prefer a hairy man. So my friend happens to be one of the 15% who likes the Ken doll feel. Saying I like a man with hair is true, but let me state that BACK, NECK and SHOULDER hair is not acceptable. Chest, nipples, arms, legs are all fine, but there comes a time in a mans life where he needs to realise that as soon as he see's a hair on his back, neck or shoulder it is down to the beauty salon for you!

I think now days, guys look in magazines and see guys like the boys from JLS with their V-Neck shirts and smooth chest, or David Beckham or certain actors looking clean and with no hair and they feel this is what women like so will copy. Well, guys, here is a note to you all, we like your hair. We like to see some hair with your unbuttoned shirt. We don't like your hairy hiney or the hair that comes above ur done upo collar, but we like your ruggy chest and facial stubble.

Winter is coming, I need to find my new rug :)Haha!

Hope you are all well. Don't forget you can contact me via twitter @IlanaVak or email me

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Thursday, 14 October 2010

Make or Break?!

Hey Dolls,

How are we? Well I hope.

So, I was speaking to a friend of mine earlier as she called me crying. I was deeply worried about her until she explained her reason for crying, all over a guy she is dating. "He came over last night randomly and I was in my pajamas with no make up on. He sat next to me, smiled and told me I looked beautiful!!"
My response, "Ok babe, so why on earth are you crying?!" Her response, "I don't know whether he means it or he is lying!"

You see, as girls, of course we get paranoid when it comes to men. To be honest, apart from make up, hair and shoes, men worry us the most. When it comes to a situation like this, how can you know if a man is being genuine or is lying?

Why would they lie? Well, in my opinion, and this is after going through and meeting a fair share of guys in my time, I have known quite a lot to lie. This may be if they have other things going on, E.G another woman or if they just want to get in your knickers.
Why would they tell the truth? Well, maybe they really like you. Maybe there are decent, genuine guys out there who do not just want to get into your knickers.

I was quite interested in this so I asked 10 girl friends for their opinion.
I asked the simple question.. "If a man tells you that you are beautiful with no make up on when you are just lounging around is he lying or is he a keeper?"
5 girls said keeper, 5 said lying. Here I was, thinking I would get that one answered, but it was a tie. So I asked 5 guys. Complete mixed reviews. A great response from one boy friend of mine was great. he said "To be honest, if she was ugly, why would I want to get her into bed in the first place?" WOW! Honesty from a guy! Brilliance!

After thinking about it, I guess it really just depends on the guy. For instance, the guy my friend is dating, I have met. He is lovely! (I asked him if he had a brother, he said no, boo hoo!) He comes from a nice family and is a sweety guy and I think he genuinely likes my friend. I told her she must keep him. If on the other hand, he was a bit of an idiot then yes, I may have told her to break it off.

So have I just proven something? Can men be decent?! Wow! Only kidding, I know my fair share of really decent guys. I guess for some girls, it isn't everyday a guy tells them they are beautiful and especially without make up.

So, girls.. Remember, always believe in yourself and know you are beautiful, inside and out. If you believe it, you will give off an aura no man can deny!

I would love to hear your opinions on this.. remember you can email me at or on twitter @IlanaVak..

Lotsa love,

Little Miss V..xx

Monday, 11 October 2010

The only way is...

Hey Dolls,

Hope you are all keeping well..

Well, what was up with this weekends television programmes? Lets first of all start with The X Factor.. One of my favourite programmes. I become a religious watcher. I have to watch the beginning auditions, bootcamp and live shows, to be honest I am obsessed. On Saturday night I voted for Nicolo and Aiden, my two favourites. I was honestly gutted to see Nicolo go on Sunday. I do not think he deserved to go. He had so much more to give and even Simon Cowell said it.
If anything, Diva Fever should have gone. As much as I like them, they aren't going to win or get a recording contract, they are a bit of a joke. Talking of a joke, what is going on with Wagner aka Vugner aka Pirate of the carribean. He can't sing let alone speak in English. She bangs got turned into She BUNGS! I just do not understand how a talent like Nicolo goes when that stays. Who in their right mind voted for the pirate?

Can some one please tell me who the stylist is on X Factor? Who ever she is, she needs to go back to fashion school. I mean, really doll? Paige walked out looking like Jazzy Jeff with a mix of MC Hammer with those trousers and Diva Fever looked like me when I was 6 with my flourescent bike shorts. I have decided I have a lot of love for Aiden. His performance of mad world was incredible. The only other person I have heard perform that song brilliantly was Adam Lambert on American Idol. Aiden sang it great. My only thing about him though is watching him. He looks uncomfortable, like he is straining on the loo! I cannot wait for big band week where Paije will be given a big Frank song or Stevie Wonder. He needs to be doing these big Luther or Marvin Gaye songs to really show his potential.
How great did TreyC Cohen do!? I like her a lot. I just do not like her name. Was her mum on crack when she named her? What was wrong with Tracey love? No, let us be different and call her TreyC..
Ok, what was with Storms hair? To be honest, I look at him and feel creeped out and now that hair makes it worse. He is in his late 30's and is trying to get so much attention? I did like his eye make up Saturday night but it just is not him. Storm, you are not a boy George impersonator. Grow UP!
Is it wrong of me to fancy Louis and Harry from One Direction?! I mean, they are only 18! So cute though.
Does anyone else out their want to kick Cher Lloyd in the face? The main reason I cannot bare her?? Her facial expressions and twitching. It is so off putting to watch. Now I know a lot of people do not like Katie. I personally did not like her Lady Gaga tribute act look on Saturday night but her Save song on Sunday was great and she did herself justice.

Ok, so who watched "The only way is Essex" on Sunday night? All I can say is OH MY GOSH! Umm, seriously, was it real? I am a big fan of the Hills, but kids, you are from Essex. The acting was worse than in Hollyoaks. I was appauled. It started out with Mark "im Jack Tweeds best friend thats how everyone knows me" Wright and his friend Arg going to the gym. Nobody needs to see you two mongrels attempt to work out. You then see Lauren and her irrelevant friend go to a Beauty salon. Lauren was Mark's bitch for nine years. How did she prove her love for him? By having his name tattooed on her Vajayjay. How do we know? Because she whipped down her thong and showed her beauty therapist who was spray tanning her. If it looked good I wouldn't mind but the girl showed the whole world her stubbly, ingrown, rashy nuni. Only an Essex Bird hey! We saw another girl, Sam have her vajayjay VAJAZZLED! For those of you who do not know what that is, it is having little diamonte stickers stuck to the area above the vagina.
We then met Amy, a completely ORANGE girl with the worlds most annoying voice. We met Amy whilst she was doing a photo shoot for a wedding dress company. Did anyone else notice the weird looking creature that was with her? I thought I was having a nightmare. That should not be let on TV. We then saw this whole bunch of patheticness at a club for Laurens birthday where her man of 9 years made her feel like a prat. Well love, nothing new there.
Best bit of the programme? Seeing Mark's nan do his ironing, she was cute bless her!

One of them was quoted saying "People from London wish they were from Essex." Right, well I am from London, and the last thing I wish is to come from Essex. The best thing to come out of Essex was... ummm... Nothing? You see dear, in London we have the London Eye, River Thames, Houses of Parliment, Big Ben, Madame Tussads, Hyde Park, Oxford street shopping and much more. What do you have? Faces nightclub, girls who are orange with fake eyelashes and vagina tattoos, boys who slick their hair to the side and fake tan, oh and Gants Hill round about.
I am looking forward to seeing next weeks episode just for the pure laugh factor!

I would love to hear comments from you guys. You can leave comments on here, you can get me on twitter @IlanaVak or email me at

Hope you enjoyed reading.

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Old enough to be his mother!

Hey dolls,

Hope you are all keeping well. I would just like to say thank you to everyone who reads my blogs and is very supportive and to everyone on twitter who re tweets my blogs to people around the world!

Any way, todays blog is about a programme I watched on TV last night that has damaged my soul a bit. It was called "old enough to be his mother." This programme was all about young men who are with older ladies. Now, I am 22 and even I have had a toy boy (quite recently actually) and yes it is fun, but how is that life?

In the show we met Edna and Simon. Edna is 71 and Simon is 31. A nice BIG 40 year age gap. What goes through the mind of a young man and makes him think, "hmm, she is so beautiful i wish she was mine." Does this happen? Surely that is not normal. You are a 31 year old man. She is grey and wrinkly. In the show it showed them having a shower together. This was something I was not keen to see but only reason he was in there with her was to hold her up!
Don't get me wrong people, I am all for people finding love and their soulmates but can a woman born in the 1930's really have so much in common with a man born in the 70's? To anyone who watched the show, you would have seen that Simon is an organ player in church. He smiles and plays with the kids according to Edna. To me, that is a bit freaky, especially as Simon to be honest, does not look all there. Simons words "I was a virgin until I met Edna at 30. She made my life complete. Before meeting Edna, I wanted to end my life. My life was not worth living." Now I heard that and yes, I did feel sad for the guy, but what is it that Edna has that a woman of your own age doesn't? Saggyness? Maybe that is Simon's fetish. He is into wrinkles and sag. Amen to that. Everyone to their own hey!
I do wish Simon and Edna all the happiness in the maybe 5-10 years left of their life together.

I would love to know your thoughts on this. Please leave me comments or email me at or add me on twitter @ilanavak

Lotsa love..

Little Miss V..xx

Friday, 24 September 2010

RIP Big Brother..

Hey Dolls,

How are we all? I hope keeping well. I am currently so tired. Sitting on my bed listening to the GLEE soundtrack whilst writing!

Last night I went to the Big Brother final wrap party which was a big party at Embassy nightclub in London for fans of Big Brother who could buy tickets and ALL BB housemates EVER.. Well, this was clearly not the case due to major lack of housemates. It was more of a BB11 party with Shabby, Corin, Jo, JJ, Govan, Andrew, Mario, Nathan, Sam Pepper and Sunshine in attendance. Others there were Greek Gerry, Katreya, Lad Sov, Victor, Nasty Nick, Jade Goodys mum, Angel, Bex, Darnell, Hira, Beinazir, Rex, Alex (Remember I told you! ye, her) and a few other randoms. Big brother was on for ten years. Where was PJ? Or Spencer. I would have loved to have seen Helen or even Bubble. I was sad that Chantelle and Preston were not there, or Nikki and Brian. Even DJ Talent was there and he wasn't even a housemate, just an attention seeking fame idiot!

So, I guess you all want to hear some gossip from the party right? Ok, here we go!

The biggest shock I got, was Corin and JJ having a good ol snog. I think JJ is a really nice guy, as for Corin, I am not so keen. She was a drunken mess last night and I overheard her being a bit rude towards some girls. All they wanted was a picture.

I have to say I love Gerry. He is like the big friendly Greek giant. He wears some odd clothing but I don't think he cares. I do think he cared about a certain young boy that was there though! Andrew is too cute. He seems like such a gentleman and is loving all the female attention he is getting. I didn't see much of Shabby, I heard she was swearing at the paparazzi most of the night.

I absolutely adore Nathan. He is such a funny guy and really down to earth. He says what he feels and thats fine. He is so sweet as well, he brought his Aunt along with him to the party. I went up with my friend Mel and we picked up my darling friend Govan and his friend Roma, who was absolutely divine, from St Pancras station. In towe with him also was Sunshine. From the minute she got in my car she was moaning. If you don't like it love, get a taxi! From then on, she was miserable all nigh. Apparently Corin had a go at her because she accidentally spilt drink on her and then Sam Pepper was shouting at her. I get the feeling Sunshine is not really liked by many of the housemates and she seems like a bit of an outcast. Like I said last time, I love Victor, he is lovely and always happy to take pictures with his adoring fans!

Talking of fans, flippin heck! It is mad how many people are obsessed with these Big brother stars. At the end of the day, they are only normal people but ones that were watched by millions on a reality show. I was sat in the VIP section with Govan, Mel and Roma. To get into VIP you needed to have a wristband (which were given out by Billi Bhatti - who to be honest loves himself and left his cards all around the club.) Whilst sitting having a drink, these adoring fans were all pushing past trying to get pictures and trying to climb over the barrier seperating the VIP area from the dancefloor. It got so mad, the bouncer got annoyed and I think he gave up.

Lady Sov and Sam Pepper looked very close but apparently they have become good friends. I think I would rather befriend a donkey on steroids. Sam is not my cup of tea. He was nice when I originally met him at a charity event but now he has got a bit big for his boots and thinks the world of himself.

The best part of my night was dancing with my friend Mel and a group of gay guys. We were all singing and dancing hard! Was great. Oh, another great part was seeing Leigh Francis. I was shocked to actually see somebody "famous." I shouted "ehhhhh Keith Lemon you legend" in his face! He actually laughed and did not care.

To be honest, you are probably thinking, "is that it?" Well, yes. Not much really happened. I am happy I went because I had fun and met some nice people and got to party with Govan and Mel. As for Big Brother housemates, thats it. They will now go back to their normal lives as will we! I will miss Big brother being on TV because I love watching it. Apparently Channel 5 are trying to buy it, and if they do, I will deffiantely audition!

For now dolls, that is it. Have a great weekend to you all. I am going to be partying tomorrow night at China White for a friends birthday. We have a table and a lot of free vodka.. Don't mind that.

Lotsa love...

Little Miss V..x

Monday, 20 September 2010

Prostitute Central!

Hey dolls,

How are we? Good weekend I hope!

Today's blog is a bit different. Hope you all don't mind!

So, the biggest thing on the news and in all the papers lately are about prostitutes. First we find that Peter Crouch has cheated on his STUNNING girlfriend Abbey Clancy by sleeping with a hooker. So not only did he cheat on his girlfriend and sleep with some one else, he had to pay for it. How desperate do you have to be?

Two weeks later, Wayne Rooney sends his wife Coleen a text message warning her about a story coming out. The story being him cheating on her whilst she was pregnant with his baby. Not only did he cheat once, but he paid a hooker and her best friend for sex.

What happened to the days we picked up a newspaper to read about the actual football headlines? All we get now is the footballers in a club fight, their club bill or their infidelity!

What goes through these idiots heads? They have more money than sense! They have the most amazing and gorgeous women at home, yet they go and pay for sex. It is disgusting. The worst thing is that these women take them back. Abbey Clancey is now pregnant with Peter Crouchs baby and could not be happier! Darling, reality check, your baby may be chlamydia infested!

The latest prostitute on the scene is 19 year old Chloe Victoria (hooker name Candy). Chloe appeared on the X factor on Saturday looking what I can describe as only "A mess!" She had hair extensions even Chantelle Houghton would have been disgusted of four years ago! Her cropped over bra top did not cover her bra, she drew on two beauty spots and had stained hands from her fake tan. I feel embarrased for her! It came out in the news that she was a prostitute. Simon Cowell was informed and warned that she should not be in the competition. Simon's reply "That is exactly why she should be in the competition, for a chance!"
I do completely agree with Simon on that. So, he puts her through to bootcamp where she is put up in the bootcamp hotel and what does she do? She leaves her room in the middle of the night to tout for sex. Is she mad? She has been given the chance of a lifetime, to make her life better for herself and her baby and she goes back to her old ways! Simon Cowell had no other choice but to throw her out the competition and rightly so!

Now, Chloe is in even more trouble as her ex boyfriend and baby daddy who is 21, is filing for full custody of their baby. Once he presented her with court files, she fled with the baby!

Do girls not have any self respect any more? It actually disgusts me when i see all these stories! So, here is a message to all the girls out there... Respect yourself.. Once you respect yourself, everyone else will respect you!

If you have any questions or anything you want to say, leave a comment below, email me -, tweet me @IlanaVak ..

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..x

Friday, 17 September 2010

Right Dirty Muckers!!

Hey dolls,

How are we all? Well and fab i hope!

I am currently feeling so tired. Last night I attending Josie Gibson aka this years big brother winners OK! Magazine winners party! It was fab!

I went up with my sister and our darling mucker Govan (who was also on this years big brother!) Our journey started in the car listening to Keri Holson "Get my swag on" sung very loudly. Great journey up to the club. We arrived at Embassy London and got out of the car to be greeted by Nasty Nick (who is actually Nice Nick) and Victor. I absolutely love Slick Vic!
As we walked over to the club, Govan was stolen from us by two loyal fans who would not leave him alone for the duration of the evening.
We were taken inside to a room full of old and recent big brother housemates including Gerry the greek, Angel the boxer, Mario, Andrew, Corin, Bex from BB9 (without Luke) Shabby, Sam Pepper Pot, Steve and many others.
Govan then introduced me to his dear friend, Lady SOV! I have to say, I absolutely love this girl! She is so tiny and actually so sweet.

Outside the club, there was a Slushy van which provided free vodka slushes! They were delicious. This seemed to be the main hang out for the night. Whilst by the van, I met Sunshine and John James. John is a very sweet yet awkward individual where as Sunshine on the other hand is very loud and extreme. She wore a coconut bag! Not normal. I then went inside to have where I saw on the dance floor, Sunshine and Mario and they danced to Lady GaGa's Bad Romance - Sunshines FAVE!

I have to say, I do love Gerry the Greek. Yet he was not so Greek last night. He came dressed in a full Scottish outfit with a kilt. I wish I knew whether he wore anything underneath or not! Rex said he looked like "a gay version of Meatloaf."

Josie was walking around a bit unhappy as the club did not let some of her family in. Very out of order as it was her party!

I have to admit, I spent most of my time outside in the smokers section mingling and chatting with people. I guess that is what I do best.

It was a great night and I met some lovely people. Now back to work. Oh life!

Until next time Dolls!

Lotsa love..

Little Miss V..xx

Monday, 9 August 2010

Once A Cheat, Always A Cheat?!

Hi dolls,

How are we? Hope you all had a good weekend! I sure did. I Partied for a friends birthday. Apart from writing and being a loud mouth, i think thats what I do best :-)

Anywho, todays blog is one that has got me deep!

A guy i know, let me just add is GORGEOUS and I would love to have eye candy like that on my arm any day, is now engaged after lying that his girlfriend was just a friend and trying it not just with me, but a few friends too.

A friend of mine then messaged me this..(Her exact email) "I have just found out that he has been lying to me. He has a girlfriend. He has been with her for 3 years. He told me they were friends and she is an ex. Am I a mug? Did I actually just devote the last 4 months to this lying, cheating, son of a *****?! I just want to scream and go key his car!!"

After seeing her email I was shocked. So, not only did I hear the guy I knew was taking girls for a ride (literally in his nice Audi) but my friends man had a girlfriend and did not bother to tell her. MEN... WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR HEADS?!
It is actually beyond me why men do this! They are with a girl for a reason. They like that person in their life, they are happy, content, or are they?

What makes a man cheat on his devoted partner? What makes him lie and say he does not have a girlfriend when infact he does? I can't even answer that as i'm just a simple girl who likes a simple relationship and luckily I have never been cheated on. I know if I was my friend, I would actually go and tell the girlfriend. Tell her hes been playing you both for a mug. What does he get out of it? Nothing! He loses! We love revenge so go do it. To my friend, he played you, go play him ten times harder. Go tell his girlfriend. Go make a poster and stick it up on shop windows for the world to see. Do what you gotta do to catch him out.

I've just been reading the news and it has now come out that footballer Peter Crouch has cheated on his GORGEOUS girlfriend Abbey Clancey. Ummm, hold on a minute.. Is this for real? Is she not the hottest thing right now? Why on earth would you go and pay for sex with a hooker when you can go home to that?! These footballers clearly have more money that sense. Its actually vile.

The main reason that story upsets me is because now I think, is there actually any hope for me to find a nice, decent guy? If stunning ladies like Cheryl Cole and Abbey Clancy get cheated on, what does that mean for the rest of the ladies in Simpletown?! Are we doomed?

to be honest, I have hope. I hope one day a non cheating male will come my way. Until then, I will go out, have fun, meet new people and will not be taken for a mug!

I would love to hear your comments and views on this topic.. add me on twitter @IlanaVak, Facebook 'Ilana Lala Vaknine' or email

Lotsa Love

Little Miss V..xx

Friday, 6 August 2010

Beg Off!

Good morning dolls,

How are we all?

I hope you all like the make over I gave my blog page.. :-)

So, i know im usually here writing about all your love and relationship issues but i think you'll see how todays blog is slightly different. I am going to write about something that has angered and frustrated me.

I lived in South Africa for 3 months. It is a hard place to live if A) Your not white and B) if your poor. There is not a government system like ours. If your out of work there are no benefits to help you. You either have a job, you get help from family and friends, or your homeless. Thats how it works and its rough. If you are in the category of roughness, its a hard life. On every traffic light in Jo'Berg (where I lived) you have people begging for money. Sometimes they hold a baby, or have some one blind or disabled with them to make you feel sorry for them. Some of them actually make a better living begging for money than people working in a store. Begging is the norm in Jo'Berg, but not London.

I am used to seeing homeless people when out in the West End. People beg in the streets, sleep in doorways and even sell the "Big Issue" magazine just to get a few quid. Yet what I just saw on my way to work has disgusted me.

Now, I know everyone tries hard in life to make a living. I do not dispute any ones ways of doing so. Yet, being a foreigner and standing by a busy roundabout in London, holding a costa coffee cup, knocking on my car window and asking me for my hard earned money, disgusted me. I was shocked and scared!

Is this what London is coming to? Are we going to have truck loads of Asylum Seekers getting into this country by hiding in Meat Lorries coming in from abroad? I think its utterly disgusting. These Asylum seekers come into England, pretending to be younger than they are to go to a school or pretend to be something they are not and will most probably get given a nice little council flat by our government. The funny thing is these people will get a council flat more over a British Citizen who has been on a waiting list.

I hope I have not shocked you all with my outburst, but you all agree and feel the same. If you don't, I get it.

I'd love to hear what you all have to say about this.
Leave comments here, email me at or message me on facebook, Ilana 'Lala' Vaknine.

Lotsa love..

Little Miss V..xx

Thursday, 5 August 2010

Mr Magic!!

Hey Dolls..

So its been a while since i last blogged. Im Sorry! But, good excuse. I have a new job! Go me!

So instead of my usual blog of being the love guru or giving advice, its just gonna be a quicky to show you my boy.. the best magician around.. DAMIEN!! this dude is amazing. He has done his weird and wonderful tricks already for lots of celebs including JLS, Diversity and Alexandra Burke to name a few.

If you click on this link... it will take you to his youtube page where you can see what he does best. Show him some love people.
If you have twitter, add him.. he loves new friends @DamienMagician

I will be back in a few days with a blog with one of the topics all you lovely dolls have sent me.
Dont forget you can send any question or problem to me, or on my facebook page Ilana 'Lala' Vaknine or leave comments here!

Lotsa love...

Little Miss V.. xx

Friday, 23 July 2010

The Deed!!

Good afternoon dolls!

How are you all? Enjoying your Friday afternoon I hope!

So, I have a friend, she is gorgeous, lovely and has everything going for her but her heart is going no where as its at a stand still.

She met this guy and instantly fell for him. I don't blame her, I've seen pictures and the body on this guy is amazing! They have seen eachother literally every night out and about for the past month and there was a lot of flirting and they both liked eachother. They live near eachother so travelled home together one evening and he then happened to go back to her place with her. After a few drinks, they could not hold back their desire for one another and one thing lead to another. They even fell asleep cuddling which really is lovely. From what she told me, it was very heated and intense and her exact words were.. "It was Amazing!"

So my friend phones me the next day telling me how great her night was and I could not be happier for her. Its what she has wanted for over a month and she finally got the man she wants. Yet, has she got him? Is he hers now the deed is done?!

Not exactly! He told her he would phone later that day when he left in the morning yet he didn't. She saw him out that same night and he smiled at her yet did not give her any attention. Now, as girls, if we do not get attention after "The Deed" the amount of things that run through are heads are too much to cope with. Us girls think very deeply about every little thing.

So, here is my friend now thinking, "Was it just a one night stand? Did he just want me for sex? Will he want more? Will he take me on a date? Should I expect more? Does he like me?"
Now when your friend is asking you all these questions and you don't even know the guy, how are you to respond? There's me telling her how happy I was for her getting what she wanted, but now she has not exactly got what she wanted in full, do I take back my happiness? Obviously I will listen to her and give her the best advice a friend can give, but when you are not in the situation yourself it is so hard.

So now she has seen him twice since "The Deed" but has not got much more than a hello and a smile. If that was me, I know inside I would be screaming and wanting to say, "Why have you not called me? Did you just use me, is that it?" But, how can you say it? Why is it so much harder to talk about it after when the sex came so easily?

Im sure some of you out there have been through something similar so would love to hear your opinions and advice and im sure my friend would love some more advice than me saying "Well clearly your better than him and if he doesn't want you its his loss because your amazing!" All true words but considering she is LoVeStOnEd I want to get her feeling better about herself.

Until the next time GuYs and Dolls!

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Love Is In The Air!? Or Maybe Not!!

Hi dolls!

How are we all..
Ok before you all say it, ill get to it first. IM AWFUL! I know I know. I should be blogging more often but the wonderful life of Moi just gets a bit exciting and I forget! Oh well, Im here now!!

So, I was talking to an old friend before (which was really nice) and he was telling me how much he loves my blogs (Thanks Scott!) We then got into a DEEP convo about relationships and love and how summer is here and love is going AWOL! So here I am now blogging about it.

I myself am single, to be honest, I like it that way. No dramas, no hassle, no break ups which then make me depressed and I eat every single bit of munch in my house!
But it seems to be this time of the year people are starting to break up!
3 friends of mine have just ended with their boyfriends in the space of two weeks and a friend of mine who is engaged ended it with his fiance!
Is there something in the air? Is it all these new weird bugs coming into the UK that are doing something to us? WHY IS EVERYBODY BREAKING UP?!

I remember when I was younger and would have a boyfriend for a few months but as soon as summer was coming up and I was going away abroad it would be bye bye boyfriend, hello foreign boys! Don't think im some sort of skank who wanted loads of different guys but when your young you want to have fun! Don't forget, when you go on holiday and meet a guy, its no strings attached! There are no questions and thinking about life plans with this person, its just time to enjoy someone you normally wouldn't and in a completely different surrounding with sun, sea, sand and ... ye, you know! Im still young so fun is...well... FUN, but is that what my friends want? Is that why they are all ending their relationships?

So here I am having an email conversation with one friend who just broke up with her boyfriend. I asked why and her reply was as follows.. "I am much better than he is and he does not treat me the way I should be treated!"
Ok, fair enough. As girls we feel we are Princesses and should be treated as such. All we really want is to be like the Princesses in the Disneys films! A bit of hard work here and there, some dwarfs and bad apples on the way, a bit of cleaning, an evil step mother and voila, there is Prince Charming!
Or maybe not. Not in this real life. I wont lie, I haven't met ONE decent guy in the past couple of years that has made me think "Ye, I could spend the rest of my life with him!" Ive met the ones which make me say "Pah, Im bored, why not!?" And that is wrong. So this has been the problem with my friends, they have been bored so have been settling for the irrelevances instead of waiting for the relevant men!

To be honest, at the end of the day, when summer comes, clearly a change of heart does as well. But ladies and gents, DO NOT end things with your partner just because you think you want to have fun! If you have some one in your life who makes you feel special and loved and wanted, don't ruin it for the 'Miguel' on holiday who you will never see again apart from on Facebook! There are a lot of fun things that you can do with your own partner.. go to Ann Summers and investigate! haha!

Well, thats all on that one dolls but dont forget you can ask me any queries at any time and im here to help answer!

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..xx

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Summer Loving.. I'll Have Me A Blast!!

Good afternoon dolls!
How are we all doing?
Im sorry for lack of blogging recently.. so much goes on in my weird and wonderful life!

So, is summer finally here? The weekend was an absolute delight! It got up to 31 degrees in London town and I myself could not be happier!
I am a summer baby. I love the sun, the heat and the fun that happens in the sun and heat :-P
I was lucky enough to chill by my friends swimming pool on the hot weekend and get myself a nice tan. I did burn slightly, but a week later, im looking brown & hot :-)

The great thing about the sun too is everybody decides to have BBQ's! I attended two on Sunday which was great fun! To be honest, theres nothing I enjoy more than being at a BBQ with nice weather, good music and great company and I had that at both!

So, things are looking good right now and I have exciting things to look forward to. This Sunday im attending Wireless festival with the likes of Wiley, Roll Deep, Lily Allen, Professer Green, Slash and Jay Z. My best friend Richard bought me a ticket for my birthday and theres about 20 of us going there, I couldn't be more excited!

On the 18th of July, I am doing the Race For Life run/walk on behalf of Cancer Research. Should be a nice day and its for a good cause. For those of you who would like to sponsor me, you can via

So, with summer here and festivals, I thought this may be a good time to help you all with things you can do/use in the heat etc.

** If you are going to be tanning, BE CAREFUL. Unlike me who thought the sun wasn't strong and got burnt, you need to use a good sun protecter. Try at least a 15 on olive skin like mine and for those paler vampire Edward Cullen types, use a 20 or more.

** ALWAYS keep hydrated. Drink LOTS of water. H20 H20 H20!!

** Wear a hat! Especially if it gets very hot, you dont want your head burning which can lead to sunstroke! Also you can get gorgeous straw hats which are a festival favourite!

** Use protection on your lips as well. You might not know this but the sun can burn your lips. Use an SPF lip balm. Even Palmers do a delicious coco butter one!

My festival handbag will be small but ill be sure to have Vaseline for my lips, Baby wipes as you don't know what your touching and who touched it last, Anti bacterial hand gel as the porta cabin loo's dont usually have taps to wash your hands, a toilet roll as once again the porta loo's are gross, plasters as im a walking accident and a camera to catch every single moment!!

I hope you've all enjoyed todays blog and if you are going to any festivals.. enjoy and rockkkk onnnn!!

Lots of love..

Little Miss V.. xx

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

World Cup = MEN!!

Hello darlings!
How are we all today?

It is world cup time. I personally love it. A girl who likes football, come get me boys! Our England match last week was disappointing and to be honest, I still haven't seen a great match. Even Brazil didn't play so well last night.
Any way, world cup time means pubs, bar and homes are filled with people watching the matches.

It was quite funny cos I was discussing with a friend of mine where we are going to find some new guys! For me, it seems to be my past which always comes back to me. If your a guy in my past, theres a reason your in the past and not in my present or future to be. So, I want to find new men. Now, when they say "Don't look for love, love will come to you," I think, it is true but lets be honest, i've not looked in a while and its time I did.

So where better to potentially find new men but a pub!
This Friday night, England are playing again and it just so happens to be a friend of mines birthday. What are we doing for his birthday? We are going to the pub to watch football! PERFECT! Maybe I will find a nice guy? Or will I?
Can I really find a nice, decent guy whilst watching the football in a pub?!
An interesting fact I read about.. "Guys don't lose their sex drive watching one of their passions, and the decreased number of women will only attract more attention." PERFECT!! Lots of men, not enough women, I surely must make myself look really hot?!

I guess here is where the experiment starts. I will be on the look out. Friday night could be the start of a new life for me! (I am getting myself a bit too excited!)

If I don't find a guy Friday night, ill be out partying Saturday night for another friends birthday so the hunt will continue.

Ill keep you updated darlings!
Any questions or topics you can fine me on facebook 'Ilana LaLa Vaknine' or Twitter..

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..x

Monday, 14 June 2010

Frog to Prince?!

Hello my darlings,
How are we all?
I hope you all had a lovely weekend!

So, a friend of mine said to me yesterday.. "Ilana, I always go for guys who aren't all that but feel I can change them. A lot of them are 'bad boys' as well. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but why do I want these kinds of guys?!"

I told her clearly she is looking for her prince but is kissing the frogs 'thinking' she will find her prince. This girl in particular likes to have control over her men. She likes to be the one in control in the relationship and make her men do everything for her. As ladies, we like to nurture, we like to help and give, its in our nature. Not such a massive issue all you girls may think! She thinks she can "fix" the issues that are wrong with the men she dates. Me personally, no thank you. I have enough issues and dramas that go on with my own life, why would I want to date the types of guys my friend goes for.. basically known as.. ASSHOLES!

So girls.. if you think they are a frog forget them.. It is not your job to convert an asshole into a prince!

Never try and change someone, you have to like/love people for who they are. You can always ask a partner to TRY and give up a habit you do not like or stop something but never change them. It NEVER works. Obviously in relationships you have to sacrifice things but Never and I repeat, NEVER try to change someone, because it will just backfire at you.

I hope this has helped you all who have thought about this issue and especially my friend who came to me with the problem.

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..xx

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Sex And The City..

Hello Darlings,
How are we all today?
Last night I went with 5 of my girlfriends to see Sex and The City 2! I didnt think it was as good as the first movie but still loved it. Was very funny and I have to say, the outfits were absolutely amazing. I especially loved a pink dress Carrie wore in Abu Dhabi.
Carrie and Samantha are my favourite characters and feel quite similar to both of them. Im very open and honest like Samantha, I tell it how it is, although not as much as a nympho like her and like Carrie, I love to write and seem to be unlucky in love. If I had her money, I too would be wearing the expensive designer labels she does.

One big thing in the movie was marriage and the rules. I myself am only 22 and not ready for marriage but I think making your own rules would deffinately work. I mean, everyone to their own right?! Why not have two days to yourself to lounge around and care about only yourself!? I think making your own rules within a marriage would probably help people. You are vowing your lives to each other and need ways to make it last forever. I am a one marriage kinda gal, well, thats how I see my future anyway and think if im going to be with this same one person in the same bed everynight for the rest of my life, there has to be rules.

Any way, i personally think they should now make Sex and The City a theatre production. Anyone agree?

Like I always say, if you have any topics you want discussing, let me know..

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..x

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Do You Chose Looks Or Personality?!

Good morning my little darlings!

So, todays morning topic is to do with relationships and love and whether you would go more for looks or personality?!
A good friend of mine was discussing this with me last night and mentioned it was something that bugged him, so here I am, making this my topic!

OK, so looks may be the first thing some people pick up on, but no matter how dazzling the display in front of you, there has to be something deeper to make a meaningful relationship.

Regardless of your appearance, in my opinion, the most attractive thing you can offer others is the ability to relax and be yourself. If you're looking for more than just a friendship then think about the kind of signals you're giving out. It's basically about communicating your interests clearly.

I mean, I myself am a BIG flirt! Whether I like you or not ill flirt with you, but, if your for me, youll know it. But how do you know if someone is for you?!

GIRLS: Well, you may meet a guy, looks wise he is not your type but if he makes you feel like the only girl on this planet, makes you feel special and like a princess and you get butterflies each time you see him or when you kiss, let me tell you, he is for you!!! If hes good looking, its always a plus!

GUYS: You may meet a girl, think she isnt what you dreamt of, not your Giselle model type or the type you see in your pornos, but this girl makes you smile. Doesn't give you stress, makes you laugh and even gets her purse out at dinner to pay, then you know shes special.

See, looks are not everything. Of course they are a plus. Trust me, if Enrique Eglasias walked my way, I wouldn't be letting him go! Thats my look type right there. But don't just go for looks. You may find the hottest guy/girl who ends up being a right doosh nugget. For girls especially, having the hot man candy on your arm brings drama, other girls staring and you getting jealous! Guys, having the hot girl on your arm, you know your friends will make stupid comments often like "I would deffinately tap that!"

So, the moral of this topic.. is be true to you.. Go for someone who makes you feel comfortable, makes you laugh and smile and makes you feel like the best person on this earth. Never settle for anything less than what you are...

Hope i have helped you my little lovely people..

Lots of Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Look Who's Back!

Hey guys,
Well im back and im thinking better than before!
I am awfully sorry that I havent written in 5 months, clearly i am the worst blogger ever!!
Well, last time i wrote i told you all about when i was living in South Africa! I came back in Feb and since ive been back, life has been good. (obviously there have been the bad!)
My sister, Lauren has written a book about life with Arthritis, its to help other families learn to cope with issues within a family and let me tell you, its a bloody good read. If your interested go to and type in Lauren Vaknine, the book is called My Enemy My Friend. Heather Mills and Prince Charles are currently reading it too. So buy it people!

Back to me, well, there is so much from my weird and wonderful life to report but I think today im gonna talk about people in ur life that need getting out. People who are now in your past but keep popping up, need to stay in your past. Friends who should stay friends and little girls who threaten.

In your life, let me tell you, you are going to come accross a LOT of fake people. People who will like you because they are scared of you, or who will try and be your friend because you have friends.. all im saying is, be very aware of whats going around. There will be people in this world who will break you and you need to know how to stand up for yourself.
I have a group of girls im friendly with. They used to be best friends with a girl who is a nasty piece of work. Their friendship has now ended with her but her and her immature friends just love drama. So what do they do? They ATTEMPT to terrorise my friends lives. They cannot talk on a phone or face to face. Instead this girl and her friends, write all over facebook, making threats and slandering my friends names and making them look silly. In fact, all they are doing is making themselves look silly. Little girls like this to me are like wild animals which need killing for their meat and skin. Im sure i could make a lovely pair of leggings out of orange skin. I myself am very strong minded, and if somebody starts on me, I have enough courage and confidence to stand up for myself. When i said to one of these childish girls to put her threat into action, she was too scared. So its come to the point in life where silly children think they are acting big behind a computer screen but will never actually do anything to any one. So to anyone reading this, don't threaten people in general, but especially do not threaten people from a computer or mobile phone. Be big and brave and stop being childish. There are enough wars and violence in this world, we don't need immature 20 year old girls causing petty dramas! AMEN!

You should all remember that I, Little Miss V, am always there to help. If you ever have any questions you want answering or need advice or help, hit me up with a message because no matter how small or big the issue, i promise to help resolve it!

Hope you all are ready for me being back and bigger than ever.. (when i say bigger, well ive lost a stone in 3 weeks, so in size smaller woop!)

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..xx

Monday, 4 January 2010

2 Months into SA living!!

Hey guys!
Ahh, im awful for not writing for so long. Excuse my rudeness. I guess i have just been having too much of a good time out here.
So, I dont even know where to start. Let me start by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Hope you all had a great one. Mine was fab. I am currently staying at my cousin Natalies house and she was away so I had some friends over, we drank and ate then went to another friends house where i did 4 shots in a row after drinking wine and was smashed. Ended up in his swimming pool in my knickers!! And then into an inflatable orange boat in his pool, fag in one hand and a bottle in the other! Oh Dear!
As for Christmas, well, that was very different. While you all in London enjoyed a white xmas, I was sitting by the pool. Christmas is not big here like at home. No decorations on houses or anything. Maybe a few in the streets and trees in restaurants. Was weird not being woken up at 7am by my sister wanting to open presents. Instead I woke up at 12 and went to sunbathe all day. At least i got brown while yall at home are pasty :-)

So, while here, ive been clubbing to places like Latinova, Taboo, FTV and Risque. The first 3 are pretty much like London clubs, everyone tries a bit too hard and a bit poncy but was fun and drunken each time. As for Risque, It is a gay club and everytime I have been there i have had the best fun. My funniest time at Risque was when I went with my cousin Shimon, Jean, STephen, Maor and some of their friends. Shimon told this one guy who was such a dweeb that I was from Israel. I was talking to him with an accent and decided to really terrorise him so i told him that I was a man now turned woman. I told him that i had a shlong but now have a VAJAYJAY!! We have all never laughed so much we were on the floor. To some of the guys, Vajayjay has stuck and that is one of my niknames here.Most of the people im with here are gay.
So, ill tell you a bit about them all.
First off, ill start with Daniel De Nobrega.. my future hubby.. who i will turn straight! He officially is one of the sweetest and funniest guys i have ever met. A true darling and someone who will stay very special to me forever..
Next is Blake.. girls, you will cry at the fact he is gay cos he is sooo bloody GORGEOUS. He has honey coloured eyes like Edward Cullen, but he hates minge so no luck for any of us ;-) he is also soooo divine and along with Daniel, im gonna miss him too much. But we agreed to have children together haha.
My special twins, Daniel And Roger, both gorgeous and funny. They are obsessed with their hubbly (shisha/nargilla) and they take it anywhere they go, to a house, club, bar..anywhere.. they also are sooo lovely.
Marcy is my little doll..he is so sweet but lately he thinks i have been very bitchy. he puts it down to the fact i have carried on my pill for 2 months and says im emotionless haha. its actually his birthday as im writing so HAPPY 20th BDAY!!
So everytime im with this lot i have such a giggle.

I have also been hanging out loads with my cousin Anat who i get on great with. When Natalie went away, Anat came to babysit me with out friend Sotiri.. Now Sotiri is another one who im gonna miss lots (he is straight girls). My shungagnunga. He is gorgeous inside and out!

So what else have i been doing...

How do i explain sun city!? AMAZING. As my cousins own the clothing stores Cameroon, they were invited to the Miss South Africa 2009 pageant as they sponsored clothes. So i went along. We stayed in the palace hotel which is absolutely gorgeous. Its massive. Our first day there we unpacked and went to the pool. We sat down at 11am and of course, ordered strawberry daquris. My ultimate FAVE!
Behind the Palace hotel there is a water park so Sotiri and I went there. We took the back route through the forest up and down rocks and i was wearing a long dress!
We first went on a ride called "The Tower Of Courage!" Now this slide killed me. It is a straight drop down and you have to cross your legs in order not to get a wedgy on your way down. I get on, cross my legs and then the lifeguard is talking to me about my tattoo so i forgot to re cross my legs so i went dow with legs wide open!
I got to the bottom and never in my life have i felt pain up my bum as such! My bikini bottoms were sucked up there with a whole load of water. AGONY!!
The next slide we went on was in pitch black. We called it the washing machine because you go in, your gettin pushed around and its dark. I was so scared inside it, i shut my eyes! Then i realised it was already dark! Fell into the water at the bottom and once again, recieved a wedgey. Sotiri and I then went to the wave pool. This was awesome. It was like a beach and all of a sudden these waves come at you and you start swimming away.
The next day was the pageant. It was stunning. I was so happy that Nicole Flint won. She is beautiful inside and out. Such a stunning girl. I had a few issues after the show as i passed out due to my low blood pressure problems and i had to leave the party. I was taken out on a stretcher and had my blood taken. It was not a nice experience. My favourite thing about Sun City was seeing Babboons walk straight past me!

My cousin Shimon and his partner Jean recently had a pool party. It was such a stunning day. The weather was beautiful, we had lots of food and alcohol and great company. I had my cousins there, my favourite gays and everyone else. We partied from 11am till about 10pm! Was an awesome day.. Shimon knows how to thrown a great party. He even hired a DJ so we had great music pumping the whole day.

A few days after the pool party, Shimons friend Dragan arrived from Germany. Shimon took us along with my little cousin, his neice, Talia, to the LIon and Rhino park. This was incredible. Its a safari. So we were driving through and we see a massive male lion lying in the road with 3 females next to him. He didnt even move when the car was right up alongside him. WE saw Lions, Cheetahs, Wild Dogs, Rhinos, Zebras, Springbok and many more. We then went to the creche area where we got to play with and hold the baby lion cubs. Never in my life have i experienced such a great thing. I held a lion in my arms! They were beautiful i wanted to take one home!

My cousin Natalie always introduces me to people and says this is my cousin from London. It then got to the point "London" was being used so much, she started calling me London. Now, im known as London. Im not introduced as Ilana, im introduced as London. Its stuck!

Im going to Cape Town on Wednesday. Im so excited. Ill be staying with my Friend Josh who i went to school with. Cant wait to see him and see CT!
I get back from Cape town On the Monday then a week later i come back home to London!

So, I think thats enough for yall to read to keep you company! So sorry for not writing earlier.
Hope you enjoy and ill write again after Cape Town.

Love you all

Love Little Miss V..xx