Friday, 30 December 2011

Sexiest Men Of 2011!

Hey dolls,

A friend of mine and I just spent about half an hour writing a list of our top men of all time.. So as this year is coming to an end, I am going to share my Top 50 Hottest men list with you!
Now, this is my list so some of you may disagree, if so I would love you to share your list with me..

Ok, here it goes..

1) Channing Tatum
2) Josh Duhamel
3) Eric Dane
4) Enrique Iglesias
5) Dermot Mulroney
6) Michael Buble
7) Harry Styles
8) Zac Efron
9) Liam Hemsworth
10) Tom Hardy
11) Jamie Redknapp
12) Josh Hartnett
13) David Beckham
14) Taylor Lautner
15) Colin Farrell
16) Mark Wright
17) Russell Brand
18) Ryan Gossling
19) Ashton Kutcher
20) Gerard Butler
21) Jared Leto
22) Chase Crawford
23) Ed Westwick
24) Bradley Cooper
25) Kellan Lutz
26) Gino Dcampo
27) Hayden Christensen
28) Milo Ventimiglia
29) George Clooney
30) Xavier Samuel
31) Rick Malambri
32) Jake Gyllenhall
33) Robert Pattinson (i bet a lot of you are screaming cos you think he is amazing but lets be honest, he is not that hot. Only hot in twilight as a blood sucking vampire and I would let him suck me but way after half these people!!)
34) Dougie Poynter
35) Orlando Bloom
36) Andrew Garfield
37) Michael Cera
38) Hugh Grant
39) Peter Facinelli
40) Brad Pitt
41) Johnny Depp
42) Matthew Mcconnaughey
43) Paul Wesley
44) Penn Badgley
45) Justin Timberlake
46) Matthew Morrison
47) Gary Barlow
48) Jeffrey Dean Morgan
49) Sean William Scott
50) Ryan Seacrest

I couldn't do a list with adding my top 5 women I would turn lesbian for..

1) Sofia Vergara
2) Adriana Lima
3) Mila Kunis
4) Nicole Scherzinger
5) Rihanna

I hope you all liked the list.. Comment below your own list or if you agree with mine. You can also email the list to or tweet me @LittleMissVak or my fb page

Thank you all so much for continuing throughout the year to read my blog. It means a lot to me that people actually read it and enjoy it..


Little Miss V..xx

Friday, 23 December 2011

Guest Blog by Carly.. What's in your Christmas stocking?

Hey dolls,

I asked a gorgeous friend of mine and fellow blogger, Carly, if she would like to do a guest blog for me and she accepted! She is fab, as is her writing. She is funny, witty, dirty and talented, just like me ;)
I hope you all enjoy her post.
To see more of her writing check out her blog..

It’s the most wonderful time of the year isn’t it? Putting the star on top of the tree, eating mince pies and hoping that Santa sees past enough of all the naughty things you’ve done this year to put you on his prezzie list. There are kisses under the mistletoe and on top of the kitchen table, lazy public holiday lay ins and of course catch up Martini nights where us girls get together to misbehave and swap bedroom secrets…

Alexi: “19 cm”
Lea: “Bullshit”
Carly: “Shut the fuck up.”
Alexi: “ I measured it!”
Lea: “Where from his belly button?”
Carly: “ Can you feel it poking your pancreas?”
Alexi: “What?! No!”
Lea: “Then you measured wrong!”
Carly: “ What about Rob?”
Lea: “You mean the Girthenator, check this out.”

Lea shows me a picture of Rob, her new boyfriend, in his favourite pair of blue underwear.

Carly: “Jesus, he really is the Girthenator”
Alexi: “What about…”
Carly: “My guy has the most perfect penis in the world. It fits me like a tailored Chanel suit, in fact if I could have a mold made into a dildo for when I’m away. That would suit me just fine…”
Lea: “Ahhh, over share!”
Alexi: “Yeah, TMI.”
Lea: “I once dated a guy with balls the size of apples!”
Carly: “No, I’m all about the penis. I like a good plum or litchi sized ball… and like is a strong word.”
Alexi: “Another round?”
Carly and Lea: “Yes please!”

As our glasses chink together and we down what’s left of our cosmopolitans I cant help but giggle to myself and wonder, does the bulge make the man?

When I was 15 my best friend and I found ourselves making out with two skateboarding super hotties we’d chatted up. I knew it was time to take the plunge… my hand fumbled past the awkward button/zipper roadblock and hesitantly gripped. My 1st penile experience… hard, slightly curved to the right and about the size of a large gherkin. Really? This is it? Gross. As I got older and with many more tree house esque experiences I came to understand this new found territory a little better. Of course back then I had no basis for comparison… now, slightly more.

For years I have had the pleasure of feeling exactly like a kid on Christmas morning, about to unwrap packages with no idea of what may lie under the tinsel and ribbon. I’ve had some good surprises, some not so good and some very unexpected treats. These do not always coincide with the overall result, as I’m sure all of us will agree that a big package does not necessarily a good Christmas make. In fact if I think back to my top 3 Man Muscles I cant remember any one of them making me Joyful and Triumphant.

The first belonged to a guy who wouldn’t stop talking dirty to me. I’m all for spicing it up but not on date 1(If you can even call it that) and most certainly not dead sober. I don’t know how I ended up sharing a bed with Russell and his ginormous love muscle, when you are 19 you tend to skip the preproduction for these things and I guess they just happen. All I could think was thank God the lights are off so he cant see the look on my face as he explains how he would like to “cum inside me and fuck me raw”. It was probably a similar face to one you would pull after taking a sip of milk 5 days after the sell by date. One eye closed, nose crinkled up slightly grimaced and 11 out of 10 on the uncomfortable scale. There’s no way this guy is getting inside me. I dodged the window of possible penetration thinking I could end it all with a quick BJ if only my mouth could accommodate his meat thermometer. Both of us went to sleep completely unsatisfied and a little embarrassed.

Then there was the owner of what I can only describe as the Giant Meatloaf who revealed himself to me as we began to make out in the street by my car. I can remember thinking, what is it with guys and their big dicks, do they think just because they are well endowed that they can whip it out at anytime and our panties will automatically drop and turn into a symbolic welcome matt saying “Please Enter Me Immediately”? What happened to romance, to chivalry, to base 2, 3 and 4? Insulted by his sense of entitlement I kissed him on the cheek and left him standing pants round him ankles in 4th avenue alone.

Even when you do everything right, not all Purple-Headed Soldiers make it into battle. I had a whirlwind romance with Gerd. Unlike the other 2 Bolony Pony owners, there were some feelings involved. We sparked. We had chemistry. We were out of town and away from all responsibility with a group of friends on a farm. Away from my boyfriend too. Nothing like a bit of nature and fresh air to make you sing: “Oh Come all Yeah UnFaithful!”. It was wrong in every way making our secret love affair even hotter. We were sharing a room with people and so had to keep everything super quiet… whispering to each other in the dark under the sheets after I’d quietly snuck into the bed with him. I felt him press up against me and suddenly realized what I was up against. A Monster. We tried for hours to get in sync but put plain and simply… he was just too big. I bit down on the pillow after attempt 12 and realized that my tight little tigress was never going to be able to play host to such a force of nature. It was as if I’d unwrapped a box with a beautiful pair of shoes inside… 2 sizes too small. Returns not accepted.

And then I think back to some of the best sex I’ve ever had… most of which happened with owners of probably very average Impalers. I can’t remember… It was so good, I guess I wasn’t focused on how big they were just on how good they felt and how well they were operated. In my opinion a man who knows how to take command of the Anaconda can very well trump a guy with a Savage Salami in bed. I’m not completely un-superficial… I’ve had my fair share of these moments:

Carly: “Ok, I’m ready… I want you inside me!”
Under average Joe: “Um… I am. I have been for the last 15 minutes. I thought you came already?”
Carly: “Oh. Um… yeah, I was just role playing you know… lets carry on.”

Cue Sour Milk face followed by a major Fake.

A situation probably easily forgiven had I been eaten out as if I were a festive dessert and sent into xmas ecstasy instead of being pummeled inconsiderately like a jack hammer with a tool that seemed to be Christmas cracker gift size. Just saying.

So… what do women want in their stockings this year? I’ll tell you.

We want time… everywhere. We want generous foreplay. We want long expeditions to the South Pole. We want excitement. We want to feel powerless and powerful all at the same time. We want to feel beautiful and be looked at like the goddesses we are. We want bragging rights so that at the next Martini party we can tell everyone how our boyfriend makes the Karma Sutra look like a children’s bedtime story. We want candles, mood music and rose petals sometimes and sometimes we want our hair pulled and our panties ripped off. Most importantly we want a man who knows who he is and knows who we are enough to confidently play on that thin line between almost bliss and endless rapture. A man who knows his Candy Cane is but one Christmas charm amongst a tree of trinkets and tricks. After all it’s not the gift, but the thought that counts.


Thursday, 15 December 2011

Cougar Town?

I have always been the kind of girl who has never enjoyed dating guys my own age.
When I was 16 I went out with a guy who was 23. When I was 19 I was dating a 17 year old (and taking his virginity). Now at the age of 23 I wonder if I am supposed to be looking for the older guy to settle with, or the younger guy to have fun with.

I have always found that guys my own age are very immature. Well, they do say the male brain is three years behind the female. So that means a guy my age really acts like a 20 year old. So if I start dating a 20 year old, really he has the brain of a 17 year old? What I have noticed is that younger guys will always try harder to be at your maturity level, mainly to impress you.

“A man who hasn’t had many or any long-term relationships is far more likely to be open to friendly instruction,” says Dr Pam Spurr. "He’s still exploring and learning, so you’ve got a better opportunity to mould him.” “A younger man may not have fallen in love before, so you might be his first." “That can make it feel incredibly exciting for both of you.” That said, it might also make him overly intense. “Not having dealt with these deep feelings before might make him come on too strong, in terms of commitment or even jealous behaviour,” says Dr Pam.

More women than ever before are looking outside of their own age group to find love, and according to the Office for National Statistics, it’s mostly cougars on the prowl. More women are marrying younger men than ever before. Celebs are doing it too: Halle Berry, Madonna and Demi Moore have all tried younger men, while women like Catherine Zeta Jones and Katie Holmes got hitched to older guys. Dating out of your age bracket can work to your advantage but will also have the disadvantages. Look at Caroline Flack. She is 32 years old and has just started dating Harry Styles from One Direction who is only 17 years old. Like I said earlier, I am a girl who will date younger guys but come on.. that is just wrong. She had nearly finished high school when he was born. From what I have seen, she has been getting lots of hate mail and I am not suprised. (most probably frome me cos he is MY man and she needs to plank on a knife!!) Demi Moore, 49, married Ashton Kutcher 32 a few years back. Now they are on the brink of a divorce due to cheating rumours on Ashton's behalf.

So, can dating a younger guy lead to disaster? Will they get bored and cheat? Or do some of these 'cougars' do it due to boredm? Do they think dating a younger guy will keep them on their toes? Lets be honest, women age very gracefully so it is easy to bag a younger guy but you need to be sure of what you want before you get too involved. If casual is more you thing then go for it, but if you are looking for something more long term, make sure he is aware of that.

I guess some women will go for the 'toyboy' if they just cannot deal with the 'baggage' that may come with an older man EG divorce, an ex wife, divorce etc.

Once a man hits around 35, he’s usually got a good idea of what he’s good at and what he’s not. So he is less likely to be changeable in terms of his career, the way he behaves, but it also makes him less fickle when it comes to love. He has been there, done it and probably got more notches on his bed post than you. Well, some of you! You will probably have more security when it comes to the older guy.

“The advantage of a man who’s been around the block is that he’s learned from his exes,” says Dr Pam. “Every relationship, every break-up has a lesson in it.” And there’s the physical knowledge too. “Men who have been in long-term relationships learn a lot about women’s bodies,” Ok so thats good. Date an older guy and maybe he will actually be able to find my G-spot and not think its a watch when I ask him to look for it - (this is what happened with the 17 year old back in the day!!)

After thinking about all of this I decided to make a top 5 list of my hottest younger guys and older men.

Top 5 Older men I would get it on with:
1) Eric Dane - aka McSteamy from Greys Anatomy
2) Dermot Mulroney - best know for his roles in The Wedding Date and My Best Friends Wedding
3) Antonio Banderas - The sexy Spaniard
4) Patrick Swayze - Obviously in his Dirty Dancing days..
5) Gerard Butler - From the moment he played Gerry in PS I Love You, I fell in love

Top 5 Younger guys I would get it on with:
1) Harry Styles - One Direction
2) Taylor Lautner - aka Jacob in Twilight.. oooh topless in each film. Yum.
3) Zack Efron - Need I say more?
4) Frankie Cocozza - He may be a shameful coke whore but that rocker vibe does it for me and then he can add my name to his ass
5) Jeremy Sumpter - He believed in fairies in Peter Pan and he can believe in me being his fairy godmother :)

Would love to hear from you guys if you have had a relationship with the Toyboy or the older guy and how it went for you?
Twitter: @LittleMissVak

Little Miss V..xx

Friday, 2 December 2011

I'm In Love With A Stripper..

Ok, so no i'm not really in love with a stripper. But i'm not going to lie, I do kind of love the thought of it all.

You see, last night, myself and some friends went to a strip club. I have always wanted to go to one to know what actually goes on behind closed doors and see what they are really like and not just how I see them on films.

This was my first time in a strip club in London and I was actually quite excited. You see, the only other time I have been to a strip club was in Amsterdam a year ago. The place was vile. Not only was it cold and gloomy but the girls were already naked and happy to put their vagina in your face. LITERALLY. We had bought a dance for one of the boys and the girl giving him the dance actually put his nose into her asshole. Hole. Yes. ASSHOLE! That to me was really gross and degrading for them, then again, it was Amsterdam and I should have expected that we were going to be knee deep in clunge. Wellie boots please!!

So in we walked. The interior was very nice. Quite welcoming to be honest. Was not gloomy and dirty but in fact quite smart and classy. The first thing to catch my eye were swings at the bar. How fun is that!! The second thing I noticed was the fact half of the girls in this place were UGLY! When you see a strip club in a film, all the girls are beautiful with nice breasts and mysterious eyes. Not here. Most of the ladies were Eastern European and not that good looking with bad hair extensions and an even worse attitude.

So down Max, Anna and I sit and straight away girls are looking at us. At first I am not sure if it is Max's muscly arms that caught their attention, or the fact that he was there with Anna and I. Bit odd for a guy to go to a strip club with two girls I guess. Then again, Anna and I are not your average kind of girls. So first round of drinks come anf our first stripper comes and sits down with us. After a while she can tell we are not interested and walks off to a group of Asian guys. So the three of us are sitting there having a laugh, catching up and watching girls dance on a pole. One of the girls dancing caught my eye for having massive tattoos down the right side of her body, but also for knowing how to dance on that pole. Let me tell you, girl could dance.

I looked around the club to see the kind of people inside. On one table there was a group of white guys in suits. Business meeting maybe? Not sure but they were soon enough joined by some girls. On another table is a group of Asian guys. Also in suits. After work fun clearly! Then I see an old guy sitting on his own. Girls keep going to say hi and kissing him hello. Obviously he is a regular and knows them all well. Part of me wondered why a guy clearly in his mid 60's was spending his nights in a strip club? Boredm? Lonliness?

So after some food and more drinks, down sits *FiFi. At first I had actually said that she was odd looking and Russian where in fact she was pretty decent and English. Our conversation included our love of games such as Tetris and Solitaire and how her boyfriend does not know she does this job. Fifi was telling me how she has danced her whole life including Burlesque dance. Before working in a strip club too, she had an office job but after spending most of her day playing solitaire, she knew it was not for her. She was really lovely and nice to talk to. After some chit chat, FiFi went to dance on stage.

Some other girls then came to sit with us and talk to us. It is funny to talk to them when they are so normal. The first perception you get is that they must be dirty slores and miserable and not nice to talk to, when in fact they are normal girls just trying to make some money. And do they make money!! i had to ask, I was very intreigued. So there I am sat in a strip club talking to FiFi, Sunshine and Cat about the kind of money they make. They pay the club to basically rent space lets call it. That is about 80 pounds a night. Once they have covered that, everything else is theirs. They can make anything from 100 - 1000 pounds a night. Each dance they give is done in a private area away form your table at 20 pounds a dance. You are not allowed to touch the girls. Security is very tight and people are always looking to make sure things are all good. People will also buy the girls drinks so it is often that they are getting drunk.
Getting drunk on the job and making maybe 500 pounds a night. Why am I not doing this? Haha!

About half an hour after talking to the girls, our friend Adam came to join us. More drinks were being bought. So it was the four of us and 5 of the strippers sat at our table. The ones that were not sat at our table were obviously very jelous as we were drinking, laughing and having a great time. The four of us then went to sit in a private area with four of the girls and we were all given a dance. Now I am the kind of girl who is up for anything. Ok, not anything, but most things. Seeing girls naked is not something new for me. I am naked with my girls all the time. To be honest, I actually did not know where to look. Four girls, four vajayjays and eight boobs. Max had a dance with FiFi, I had Sunshine, Anna had Cat and Adam had Melody. Melody was actually really pretty with great breasts and I kept looking over at her. My girls hair extensions were as rough as elephants hair which was a bit off putting to be honest. So once again my eyes were wondering. Catching the look on Anna's face and then to Adam and to Max. The grins on their faces were priceless. Adam was touching Anna's leg as obviously you cannot touch the girls and he was getting worked up.

In one sense, I think for guys its all just a bit of a prick tease. They get a dance, get a boner and cannot do anything about it. Is there point wasting your money on that? Why not I say. All for some fun and something different.

As girls, I can fairly say that Anna and I enjoyed ourselves. New experience and all. I would deffinately go back. Not because I am into the girls but at the end of the day it is actually nice to hang out and drink there and also nice to talk to the girls. If anyone wants to come, let me know, come along and join :)

Little Miss V..xx

(twitter = @LittleMissVak )
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(facebook =!/LMissV )

Monday, 21 November 2011

When Sex Goes Wrong..

Hey dolls,

Sorry it has been a while since I last blogged but lets just hope it was worth the wait!

After talking with some friends about sex (obviously something I talk about a bit too often) and things that can go wrong, we started to have a real laugh at the stories that were coming up. You know, when cum goes in your eye and you think you are blinded or someone walks in on you etc.

I will start with myself.. Let me just add that this is a story that not many people know as I have always been completely embarassed by this and the thought of it still takes me back to the shock.. anyway..
A few years back I was seeing this guy and it was all going great. One day I was at his and he was going down on me. From the minute he started, I knew I was going to have to fake it and actually think of something to get me wet (I think at the time it was Channing Tatum dancing naked) as his tongue was not doing it for me. The boy had no clue what he was doing. Ten minutes in and me getting bored by his obscure ways of licking a vagina, he could tell I was getting restless, so he started going for it. Next thing I remember was screaming and kicking him in the face. He fell off the bed, I was in agony. I put my hand down to my vagina which was throbbing and not in a nice 'Jacob from Twilight is naked' kind of way. He had bitten my vajayjay. I was bleeding. Boy bit me!! I got dressed, left and refused to ever speak to him again. He obviously was very apologetic. I told him to do one.

Awful I know. Another embarassing time for me was in Spain a few years back. I had gone out with my cousin and a bunch of her friends and we got really drunk and ended up in a kareoke bar where I was actually being stalked by a midget. (I have pictures to prove this!) Anyway, I ended up getting with one of my cousins friends and ended up back at his. Or his Grandma's! After a bit of fun and frolicks I decided it was time for me to go. However, he did not want me to turn on the light as we might wake
up his grandma (don't worry, she was not in the same room) so I could not find my top. So in the end, he gave me one of his shirts. Spot the skank whore. Walking through the port at about 4am when the last few drunks were still out, wearing my denim skirt and this oversized shirt that you could see my bra through. He walked me back to my cousins appartment and as I walked in, my cousin just looked
at me and laughed.

Ok, enough about me.
Meet my friend *Joe. Joe had been with his girlfriend for some time and decided the bed was boring and wanted to try having sex elsewhere. So Joe lifted his girlfriend up onto a set of drawers he had in his room and they started having sex.
A few minutes in, there was a weird noise but neither gave it too much attention as things were getting steamy.Now, they wish they would have paid attention. The drawers gave in and Joe's girlfriend fell, penis still inside her. The drawers could not take her weight and they broke. As did his cock. 999 - AMBULANCE! Joe was rushed to hospital with a snapped penis. He had to have his foreskin cut off and have the muscles in his penis stitched back together. It took three months to heal and he could not have sex or even masturbate for all that time.

My friend *Brad is a massive flirt and funny guy. A few years ago he went travelling with two of his boy friends. When in Figi, Brad met a cute petite girl at a party who he knew he wanted to have his way with. As the party was coming to a close, Brad hinted to the girl that they should go down to the beach. She was more than happy to join him. Straight away they started to get it on. She kept hearing noises and telling Brad but he told her to ignore them. Brad knew full well what the noises were. BUGS. He was so drunk and wanted a shag he didn't care. They had sex and as he pulled his cock out, he saw a bug crawl into her vagina. Brad screamed and ran off. He does not know what happened to the girl.

Meet *Sandy. A girl who cracks me up with every story she tells. She met a guy called *Jonny through some friends and took quite a liking to him. They started meeting up and after some time were seeing eachother quite often. They would go out and kiss and hold hands, all very cute. One night Sandy decided to cook for Jonny and make things romantic. They had a great dinner, drank some wine and moved on to the bedroom. They started kissing and clothes started flying accross the room and onto the bed they went. Sandy was very excited to finally have sex with Jonny. She really liked him and knew it was going to be great. How wrong she was. Jonny started to make very weird noises and started screaming whilst having an orgasm. Sandy lay there shocked. Jonny was shaking and making noises like a little girl. He then came. He then collapsed onto Sandy and then sat up again. She looked at him and burst out laughing. Her exact words to him were, "Are you serious???!!" Put it this way, she ended things with him the next day! HAHA!

Let me introduce you to *Tony. Tony is a guy I have known for a few years, and let me tell you, is gorgeous. All the girls want a piece! One night, a week after Tony had an operation on his arm he went to the pub with some friends.
A few days later, a girl he knows phones him up and said a girl she was with at the pub the other day fancied him and would probably sleep with him. Tony was not really phased but let the girl give her friend his number. An hour or so later, Tony gets a call from a random number and it happens to be the girl from the pub, *Tanya. They chat for a bit and Tanya asks Tony if he was free to get a drink later that night. So later that night, Tony went to pick up Tanya and they went for a drink. She had already been drinking and was already pretty wasted. OVer a drink, she starts
getting cheeky and asks Tony what the naughtiest thing he ever did was. Tony comes back with usual men answers, "had a threesome" or "slept with my French teacher in school." Tanya then asks him if he is going to fuck her and they soon get in his car. Tanya then tells him she does not want to go back to her flat but rather go to her parents house. Tony knew this was a bit odd but he went along with it. As they arrive to the house, she tells him to wait so she can turn of the CCTV cameras. This was the first moment Tony should have driven away. In they go and she tells him to wait on the bed whilst she changes. She comes back in sexy lingerie and tells him to lie on the bed so she can massage him. Out comes the lotion and she starts massaging him, down his legs, up his back, around his balls then WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAAM up goes her finger in his ass! He was in shock, pushed her off with his one good arm and turned around to have sex. The whole time, she had told Tony to keep his voice down as her parents were next door and next thing you know it, he is shagging her brains out and she is screaming and all of a sudden, a voice from next door goes "shh!" They both cum and Tony gets dressed. Tanya then starts saying she wants to go again but Tony says he needs to leave. She blocks the door and tells him he cannot leave as her husband is asleep next door, not her parents. He said he needs to leave to take pills for his arm and Tanya starts laughing saying she should have taken her pills. Tony asked what pills she takes. Her reply, "the doctor gives me pills as my sex drive is too high. I can finger myself up to 6 times a day. I love sex. Fuck me again?"
Tony pushes her out the way and dashes to his car. He phones his cousin to tell her of his mad night to which his cousin laughes hysterically. He knew of this Tanya and informed Tony how she had been in a mental home a few years back and is a sex addict.

I hope these stories have kept you all entertained and if you have any stories of your own you would like to share please comment here or tweet me @LittleMissVak or email and keep updated on my facebook page

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Friday, 28 October 2011

Time for a nosh...

Hey dolls,

So a friend of mine and I were talking about sex (as you do on a Friday afternoon) and then came on to the subject of Blow jobs! As soon as I mentioned the word she sighed! I asked why she did that. Her response.. "Why is it guys always expect you to give them head?" To be honest, I did not have a valid answer to reply with, so I simply said, "Because they like it?"

You watch films nowdays and it is so commonly publicised. Take 'Knocked Up' for example. Katherine Heigl has sex with Seth Rogen and asks him what he would like on a second date. He replies with "BJ!" In 'Bridesmaids' there is a classic quote.. "Did you let him sleep over in your mouth?"
Even music mentions it. Take Lil Wayne, he is telling everyone to lick him like a lollipop!

We got off the phone and I actually started thinking about the topic and decided to do some research into it. (Obviously I know enough about blowies/how to give them but wanted to know more!)

So the correct term for a blow job is Fellatio. Other nicknames for it besides blow job and giving head are blowie, nosh/noshing, BJ and sucking off.
Other facts I found out:
1) In ancient Greece, a blowie was better known for as "playing the flute!" (Remind me to hum Flight of the Bumblebee next time I'm noshing)
2) In ancient Egypt in 1300BC, Isis resurrected Osiris from the dead from a blowie.
3) In 1883, the Kama Sutra was translated from Indian to English where it talks about "mouth congress."
4) In India it is also known as mukhamethuna ("oral churning") and ambarchusi ("mango-fruit sucking") - (cannot say I know one guy who has ever called his cock a mango, but hey, in India clearly they do!)
5) In 1998 Monica Lewinsky denied reports of having sex with Bill Clinton but admitted to noshing him off.
6) You can contract HPV from giving head.

So over time, flute blowing has become more and more acceptable. Now, in my generation it is 'just a thing you do' says my friend *Lucy. Now, girls will give a guy a blowie not because he asked for it but purely because they don't mind doing it or think it is worth keeping the guy. Some girls will nosh a guy off continually because it does not phase them where as sex does. Girls would rather wait to have sex until they really like the guy or are in love but can nosh at any given time to any guy. Porn is so regularly watched that ideas of how to give oral sex (I will use a nicer word for once) are plastered on the screen.

So after finding out some true facts about Fellatio, I wanted to know the best ways of how girls I know like to give a blowie and how guys I know like to recieve it..

"I love it when a girl licks the tip of my shaft. It is really sensitive and it drives me wild."

"My boyfriend loves it when I am sucking him off and use my hands to stroke his penis at the same time."

"Play with my balls while giving me head and I come quicker!"

Well there you go guys and girls, some facts, tips and trueness about "noshing" (I am sure you have seen that this is my favourite word!)

Hope you all enjoyed this and would love to know if you have any tips or advice or questions regarding this blog.

Email or on twitter @LittleMissVak

Lotsa love..

Little Miss V..xx

Monday, 24 October 2011

It's a Gig life for me...

Hey dolls,

Hope you are all good. Thought I would take a brief step away from my usual blogs (don't worry, you'll get the naughtiness back soon) and write about my recent outings to some gigs!

So lets start with last Thursday where I went with my good friend Dominique to the Jack Savoretti gig at the Garage in Highbury/Islington. I have loved Jack's music since I was introduced to it by my friend Scott a few years ago. Since then, I have been a big fan. The gig started at 7pm and we arrived at about 8.30pm where we were just in time for the second supporting act called "We were Evergreen."
Now let me just tell you, when I see a band with a xylophone I get a bit worried but on came this Parisian trio and completely wowed me. With their Indie/pop/folk style, the crowd became really hyped up. They had some really good songs including Vintage Car and Penguins & Moonboats. I was not impressed with the song about Eggs!

They finish and on comes Jack Savoretti and his band. A woman standing in front of me and Dom was jumping and screaming. She must have been in her mid 40's but only now was living her failed life as a groupie. She is clearly his number one fan. She kept dancing to the songs which to be honest, are pretty hard to dance to, a simple bop or shake will suffice. When the slower songs came on, she put her hands together as if she was praying and would close her eyes. I hope she knows she was at a gig and not in church. Her friend also cried at one of the slower songs. Is it mean that Dom and I laughed? Well, come on. Two ladies in their 40s getting overly excited about a singer and crying? I can't even say grow up!
I was suprised to see a double bass up on stage (as it is rare) but Tom (dude on the double bass) rocked it! If any of you have ever seen a picture or watched a video of Jack, you will know he is very good looking. Seeing him up on stage with his guitar and singing live brought a whole new love to my life. I will keep this blog PG. Anyway, after a few new songs, Jack sang "Dreamers" which is my ultimate favourite. I took a lot of pictures and videos (which are all on my facebook for those of you who have me). When the show finished, Dom and I waited around as Jack's manager Danielle was going to introduce us to Jack. So ten minutes after he has come off stage, he comes into the hall and Danielle brings him over to me and Dom and gives us a personal introduction. My knees went to jello! I had a picture taken with Jack and honestly, I felt like a kid. I have met a lot of celebrities in my time and do not get star struck (unless they are really big) and Jack is not a celebrity, but just the fact he sings like an angel, plays the guitar like a rock star and is beyond hot got me worke up. Once again, keeping this PG.

Saturday arrives and out I pop from the shower at about 6pm when I get a phone call from my good friend Ben. "Have you got plans tonight LaLa?"
"Umm yes Ben, why?"
"Well I have two tickets for the Ed Sheeran gig tonight, do you want to go?"

I love me a bit of spontaneity. So my plans got changed and 45 minutes later, Ben was outside my house in a cab to pick me up. Now, as a woman, it takes me at least over an hour to get ready for a night out. I was given 45 mins!! So out I went to the cab with a face half done with make up and a packed dinner from mummy as I had not eaten since breakfast. Bless her. To those of you who know my mother, you know she is a feeder. Even if you are not hungry and in my house, you will be given food. So on route to the gig and Ben and I already start having a giggle about a few funny stories. I finish my packed dinner, finish my make up and we arrive at the venue. Before we went into the show, we go to meet our friends Pippa and Chloe at a pub down the road where the drinking begins. How my mother is a feeder, Ben is like that with alcohol. He will get the drinks in and make sure you get legless. Good ol Benny boy! We finish our drinks and the four of us head over to the HMV forum in Kentish town for the Ed Sheeran gig. Or Ed SheeRAN (sounds like Duran) as Ben would say. He got corrected many a time over the night.
So in we head through the crowd and make our way to a nice spacious spot where we can see the stage. As we arrive, Emeli Sande was performing. Wow she is amazing live. She sang a few ballads and then sang her new song "Heaven" which was awesome.
On came Ed and everyone started screaming. Who knew a 21 year old ginger boy could be so popular! To be fair, half the venue were about his age and probably his high school buds.
So there we are enjoying his music and having a dance when all of a sudden, a girl who Pippa referred to as a 'witch' screamed out loud "Can you not touch my bum you are disgusting" to a few boys standing behind her. These boys became our besties of the night. I did not think it was them who pinched her bum but the Peter Griffin look alike that PVP had a crush on who by the way knew every word to every song Ed sang!
So we continue to enjoy the music and our alcohol and dancing when an oldish man standing near Ben starts having a go at him for dancing. Sorry, I did not know that it was illegal to dance at a gig. So there they are having a domestic when Witch Bitch gets involved and shouts, again, telling them both to shut up. This was very funny yet I did give her my dagger eyes and she did not look in my direction again. I came to the conclusion of why this girl was very angry in life..
1) She was on her period
2) She had not been laid for 6 months or more so was a bit aggy
3) Ed Sheeran would not touch her with a barge pole.
I reckon 1 and 2.

So then the two boys who originally pinched Witch Bitches bum became our mates and were dancing and singing with us. They were very camera happy and I would love to see the videos they took of us, especially one of Pippa and I dancing. Oh, and of course Ben made sure they took a pic of my cleavage. Great. Two turnips from Milton Keyenes have probably got my tits as their profile picture on Facebook. Good times.

Ed Sheeran was actually amazing live. Pixie Lott and Example even turned up to do songs with him which was also pretty awesome. Big thank you to Ben for taking me :)

After the gig, the 4 of us headed into Camden. Well after walking down Kentish Town for 15 mins and me complaining that my nipples were about to cut glass, we jumped into a cab to Bar Solo where some of my friends were partying. Amen for Bar solo. My favourite club. If you like Old school jams, a bit of garage and randomness mixed with Beanie Man, Cameo and new tracks, you need to head there. I can not remember one time I have not had fun there. So the drinking continued, as did the dancing and a great night was had by all!

I have now decided that I need to go to as many gigs as possible as it is so much fun. I love live music. Sorry Pippa, Sideshow Bob (I mean Seasick Steve) will not be one I attend!

Have a great week people..

Little Miss V..x

(Picture 1 -Ed Sheeran and Pixie Lott
Picture 2 - Jack Savoretti
Picture 3 - Jack SAvoretti and I
Picture 4 - Ben, Pippa and I)

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

DLS.. Dirty Little Secret

"I like you, but you know we have to keep this our little secret right?"

How many of you have heard that one before? I for sure have. I have been a secret. I had a secret. It was fun while it lasted but you know it will never be anything more than just the secret. The secret itself is what makes the relationship exciting. The actual relationship or what you are doing within it, may it be emotional or physical is not the exciting thing. The fact nobody knows is what keeps it fun.

So you would think secret romantic relationships are hot, right? Movies and television dramas are full of them, you hear about them and they almost always seem intense.

When you think of secret romances, you would think they are fun and exciting. You automatically imagine late night meetings in a hotel or a car park where the potential for being caught enhances the romantic experience. For some however, a realistic portrait of romantic relationships reveals that maintaining the secrecy is more frustrating than fun.

So, I asked some friends about their experiences and what happened...

Emily's story:
Emily's sister Natasha was dating a guy called Dean. She would only ever see Dean at weekends though as she was at boarding school. Emily met Dean one weekend at their house and instantly took a liking to him. He took to her as well and when Natasha went back to boarding school, they took to each other like rabbits. They kept it a secret for years and to this day, Natasha does not know. Emily did not feel as bad as she would have, as Natasha had told her she was dating someone at boarding school and only kept Dean there for fun at the weekends when she was home.
Emily's fun with Dean sadly ended when Natasha moved back home from boarding school and Dean ended both relationships. Emily said it was the most secretive fun you could ever have!

Darryl's story:
Darryl is a 29 year old estate agent and married man. After meeting his wife Linzee at school he knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Losing his virginity to her at 16, he needed no more. Until one day in married life, Darryl felt he was missing out on life and felt he had not experienced enough in life. Darryl signed up to a dating site where he was listed as single and "only up for a good time." Needless to say, gorgeous Darryl was flooded with messages and met up with Harley. Harley became the DLS that Darryl longed for. He would lie to Linzee by telling her he had late viewings yet instead, invite Harley to a propertly he was letting out. After a secret two year relationship with Harley, Linzee became pregnant and Darryl was forced to end his secret affair. To this day, Linzee does not know what her hubby got up to.

Carlos's story:
Carlos was working in a restaurant as a waiter. One day, in walked Francesca. A pretty little thing who caught Carlos' eye immediately. She had come in to give her CV for a job going. Carlos took the CV and her number from it and called her up. Even though he had a girlfriend, he had a passion inside of him to get to know Francesca. She was very flattered but made Carlos aware that she had a boyfriend. Even though her boyfriend was in prison, she could not be unfaithful. A few weeks later, Carlos recieved a message from Francesca telling him to meet her at her place. He did not think about his girlfriend and without hesitation, went round. According to Carlos, it was the best sex he had ever experienced. Carlos is the kind of guy who loves when a woman gives into him and he can get his way with her. Francesca was giving Carlos the best sex of his life and he started to fall for her. Three months after their affair started, Francesca got a phone call that her boyfriend was being released from prison. She told Carlos to delete her number and never make contact again, leaving Carlos in shreds.

It seems to me that most secret relationships end badly or with upset, so why is this topic the backbone of so many books and movies we see each year? Maybe its more about the escape than the actual love. Take Romeo and Juliet for example. They had a secret love. They couldn't tell anybody because their families were at war. What happened to them? They both killed themselves!

My personal advice on this topic would be to not let yourself fully in. Do not accept the relationship as something serious. It is fun. It is a period in your life that is boring that you are making exciting. If it starts a secret, it will always only be a secret. So have fun, don't fall, don't let all your emotions in and make sure nobody finds out ;-)

I would just like to add, the stories included here are all true but names have been changed to protect the identities of the story tellers :)

Little Miss V..xx

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Chat Up Lines!

A friend of mine was just messaging me about a footballer she met on Tuesday night at a fashion week after party and the lines he used on her. He walked across the club to her and said.. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She looked at him, laughed and replied, "No, but it might hurt when I kick your balls!"

I am in stiches! He is a known footballer, earns more money a week than most of us do in a year (or two), can get any slore he wants for a quick romp, yet he is still using chat up lines! Quality.

So here I am thinking about the kind of chat up lines I have heard in the past. You know, when you are at a club/bar with your girls and a guy comes over and says, "Sorry I can't talk to you any more, the doctor told me I'm diabetic and I cant handle sweet things like you."
Personally, to me, even if it was the sweetest comment ever, I think I would still laugh. Why do guys feel the need to use chat up lines? Why can't you just be yourself?

If you want to talk to a girl in a club, go over to her and say "Hey, I noticed you and think you are really pretty and would like to get to know you." Simple. Honest. Truthful. No bullshit! That is what I would like. Unfortunately, the kind of chat up lines I get are, "If you were a burger you'd be McGorgeous." Or "I was just curious, Are you as good in bed as that guy says you are?" Delightful.

So I have come up with some comebacks for the chat up lines that I have heard.. Ladies, if you get any of these, please use the comebacks and let me know what happens!

Q. "Do you come here often?"
A. Not any more

Q. "Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day."
A. Im knackered, so you start doing the running and run along.

Q. "What's your sign?"
A. (Stick your middle finger up)

Q. "Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in those eyes."
A. If my eyes are telling you to get lost, you should take the hint.

Q. "I'd love to see how you look when I'm naked."
A. Well, if your penis as is small as your hands and feet, you'll see the back of me walking out the door.

I am giggling so much from writing these. Would love to see if any of the guys reading have any chat up lines and if yes what are they and have they worked? Girls, what is the funniest or cheesiest or worst chat up line you have ever heard?

Please leave comments below or email me: or tweet me @LittleMissVak and please "like" my facebook page

Little Miss V..xx

Friday, 16 September 2011


According to Wikipedia, “Sexting” is, “The Act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones."

A recent survey conducted revealed that 36% of women are sending or posting nude images of ourselves to guys. 72% send them to be 'fun or flirtatious', and 59% will send snaps as a sexy present for their boyfriend. For a lot of us, sexting can help keep the relationship going, especially when it is long distance and you aren’t able to see each other as often as you would like to.

There is something strangely anonymous about the internet and even mobile phones, not when you are speaking, but when the communication takes place through a keyboard. It is very easy to type something reckless…crazy…risqué…yes you see the words, but most of us feel less of a commitment emotionally to the written word. Many men can write the words “I love you” in a valentine’s card or in a text message, but actually saying those three little words out loud, no chance!! In much the same way, writing down what you would like to do sexually is a lot easier than saying it. I mean, whilst in the bedroon, could you actually say out loud the things you told this partner you would do to them over instant chat?

Now days, it seems to be all over the media where a celebs phone has been stolen and naked photos have been found. This happened to Rihanna, Vanessa Hudgens, Blake Lively, Amber Rose and that is just a few to name. Some would say it was a publicity stunt, some will say they had the pictures on their phones to send to partners. So how do we know this will not happen to us? How do you know, the person you are sending a picture of yourself in your bra and panties, is not going to show all of their friends?

Personally, I see "sexting" as a harmelss bit of fun. Girls, if you want to message a guy naughty words and tell him all the things you want to do to him, DO IT! Boys, if you want to send a picture of your jolly rancher to a girl, DO IT! If you are going to say things, live up to it. No point being all mouth. (Well, depends where your mouth is going to be!)
A piece of advice, do not go showing all of your friends, because it can easily slip out and thats when trouble starts. A friend of mine had pictures of this guys package on her phone. They then had a big fight and she threatened to get the picture printed and put up in shops in his local area. Could you image the horror? (I saw the picture and his whole piece was a horror in itself already) but walking past your local cafe and seeing that in the window!

Keep sexting relevant and to the point.
Keep it for youself! It is not meant for anyone elses eyes but yours!
Have fun!
Do not sext with someone you do not know and have met on the internet. They say they are a 28 year old man from Manchester, when really it is a 79 year old granddpa of 7 from Uzbekistan!
Be safe!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.. Comment below or email me at or tweet me @LittleMissVak.
Also, please "like" my facebook page.

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Toast To Your Girls!

I just finished watching a video from a lecture class at Stanford University. The lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, football, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely.

Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers/best friends, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged, this however is not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. So, let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health. :)

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

I Predict A Riot...

Sitting at my office desk near a dual carriageway in North West London, I see out the window four police swat cars drive by. I am wondering which area they are heading to.

Looking at the picture above, you would think people are running away from a bomb or terrorist attack, this is hardly the case.

Mark Duggan shot a bullet from his gun at a policeman last week in Tottenham. The policeman then shot back, and killed Mark, a father of four and a known drug dealer. This was the beginning of a lit spark, to fuel riots.

For the last three days, but with the worst yesterday, we have seen a new low of British people. Buildings are being set on fire, cars being vandalized and shops being looted. Nobody actually knows a reason as to why this is happening. I understand it started with people in Tottenham mad at the police for shooting and killing someone, but how did one shooting fuel so much anger in people that they felt it necessary to do the damage to our city that is being done now?

In broad daylight, people are being mugged. One injured boy thought he was being helped by a gang who then robbed him of his belongings from his backpack. A police man was seriously injured when a brick was thrown at him. This is just ludacris behaviour of yobs who simply have nothing better to do with their time.

It has got so serious now and spread throughout the country. Something so small that started in Tottenham has now spread to Ealing, Croydon, Hackney, Peckham, Ealing, Camden Town, Notting Hill and even moved up North to Birmingham, Liverpool and Leeds.

From images you are seeing on the news, you would think that there is a war, or people are running from terrorist threats, when in fact, it is mindless Brits terrorising their own towns and communities. Kids as young as 13 are joining in and you wonder where there parents are!

On Friday, I am flying to Israel. A country who has had numerous amounts of protests and demonstrations over the last month. Not one person walked away harmed. The Israeli's said their piece and left in peace. They are a country who live with wars and terrorist attacks. Why are they able to still be strong? The reason is because they have an army. Where is our army? Oh yes, PROTECTING us by fighting on the front line in Afghanistan. Our soldiers bravely leave their families to fight for our country, to stop terrorist attacks and what for? For the youth of today to ruin it all. They do not know why they are fighting now. They just want a fight and to steal free gear! Give these youths a gun and tell them to stand on the front line at a war zone, then let them think they are big men!

I truly feel sorry for the police. Working so hard to protect the streets and losing. All they have is shields. What about water cannons or rubber bullets? Shoot the youths doing the damage. Our country is being weak and they need to step up and be strong and fight for the rights of the rest of us!!

I would love to hear what you all think.. please leave comments!!

Little Miss V..xx

Friday, 29 July 2011

Who let the dog's out?

So, last night I went dogging.
Ok, so I didn't actually GO dogging, but ended up in Scratchwood Park, off the A41, not far from my house in London.
Let me make you aware, this is not a normal evening activity for me. It came about after a night out with friends, dogging came into conversation. We talked about it and decided to go check out what dogging is all about.

Some of you may be thinking, what is dogging?

Well, Dogging is a predominantly British activity that involves outdoor exhibitionism in car-parks, wooded areas and places as such. The term "dogging" originated in the early Seventies to describe men who spied on couples having sex outdoors. These men would 'dog' the couples' every move in an effort to watch them. When the swinging scene discovered that open-air sex has its own special thrill they began meeting in car-parks, and the doggers had a new found fun activity. The doggers soon realised that these couples were actively encouraging them to watch, even performing for them, and sometimes allowing them to join in.

So, five of us piled into my friends car and off we went. I was sat in the front of the car, and as we drove in, I felt a sense of sickness. Mainly because as we drove down the gritted road, we saw men sat in their cars waiting to be "flashed." Being flashed is when someone flashes their car lights to let the "dogs" know that they are about to embark in some sexual activities. The "dogs" will then stand by the car and watch. We saw some men standing outside their cars, looking into other cars to see if any action was happening. Everytime someone walked past our car, I was telling everybody to be quiet as I was actually scared one of these men would be some sort of lunatic of rapist and pull me from the car, hense asking the driver every ten minutes if the doors were locked!

After abour twenty minutes, we decided to leave. I was glad to get out of there and open a window! (I had the car window shut the whole time we were there as I was scared an old man would come and spunk on my face or something!)
I was intriegued to know more about dogging and after some research, I found out
that there are forums for doggers! One website offers you a list of the best "dogging" places to go near to where you live. The one we went to, Scratchwood, was on the list as one of the best ones "with a lot of action" happening there. This was by far the case last night!

So, in conclusion and in my opinion, I can say I find the whole "dogging" thing weird and creepy. Do you really want to have sex in your car in a forest with an old man watching you and wanking off to your pleasurable moment? If people get off by things like this, then that is their choice, but to me, I think these men are perverts and are better off investing their money in a blow up doll than petrol to dogging areas!

I would love to know what people think about the whole "dogging" world, or if you yourself have been dogging or been a "dog." Please comment below or alternitavely, you can email me at

Lotsa love..

Little Miss V..x

Monday, 25 July 2011

It's a date!

Hey dolls,

So, I have had quite a few people ask me what kind of things you should or should not do/say when on a date!
This blog is mainly pointed towards the girls but there are some tips in here that guys will also find useful.

So, here are things I believe in..


1. Bring baggage to the date

By baggage I am talking about insecurities and the dramas of your life. No guy wants to hear about all the things that have happened to you, or the last relationship you were in. Guys HATE hearing about your ex. Even if you tell them how bad your ex treated you thinking you are hinting so they will do better..they WON'T.. He is out on a date with you because he likes you, so please don't turn off his attraction signals by revealing your insecurities for the world to see.

2. Talk too much

It is always drummed into a mans mind that being a good listener will get them in the good books of most women, and for a lot of men, this means they will sit back and let you talk relentlessly without stepping in, purely because it seems like the thing to do. The truth is that the guy wants to talk about himself as much as you do, so ask him thought provoking questions about him and his goals and let him talk.

3. Show signs that you are not relaxed

A guy who is on a date with you wants the real you, not a nervous you that conceals all of your best features. Something to remember when dating men is not to let other singles make you nervous before the date! We have the best times when we relax and enjoy ourselves with people. Don’t over analyse every little detail of the date, and just allow things to unfold naturally. Relaxed, confident women are more attractive in men's minds, because they are in control of themselves.

4. Spend too long on the date

The date should be short and fun. This keeps it fresh and spontaneous in the early stages, without draining every last bit of life out of the time you have together. Save some for the next date! Leave him wanting more, that's the key!

5. Drink too much

We all know, that nerves hit before a date. When the waiter comes to your table to ask what drink you would like, usually women will ask for a glass of wine. That is because we know with a bit of vino down us, we warm up and become more lively. Keep it to a two-drink max though. If the date’s so bad you need to drown your sorrows, say goodnight and hop a cab to meet your friends at another bar.


1. Put your phone on vibrate/silent

Refrain from even putting your phone on the dinner table. When you go out with your friends, it is natural to put your phone in front of you on the dinner table or next to you at the bar, but on a date, keep it hidden. Stop the urge to text or 'bbm' for a few hours. If you need to consult your phone for any reason, wait until your date steps out of site and put it away once they return.

2. Do prepare yourself for the date

By this, I mean pamper yourself. Especially if it is a first date, you want to look your best. A bit hairy? Have a wax. A bit pale? Have a spray tan. Dirty nails? Have a manicure. These are all basic things we should be doing naturally anyway. Do whatever it is you need to feel better about yourself and give yourself that confident boost. Want to feel sexy? Go any buy some nice lingerie, even if you do not want your date to see it that night, you will feel sexier.

3. Be yourself

There is nothing more sexy than being yourself. If you are a loud, outgoing person, do not try and act shy and innocent as you are worried how you will come accross. If you are shy and sweet, do not try and act like a slut to think the guy will like you. Be yourself. If the date does not like you at the end of the night, he was not worth it anyway and there will be more!

4. Have fun

To be honest, when you think about it, you are only hanging out with some one for a few hours. You are not sitting your GCSE's or having a wax. You are just going to have a nice evening with a date. Let your hair down and lighten up, what is the worst that could happen?

Hope this helps dolls..

Lotsa Love,

Little Miss V..x

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not..

Hello Dolls,

I have a friend who has been "seeing" a guy for about six months.. (mainly just sleeping together.) He then decided he wanted to be with her but she wanted things chilled and to stay the way they were. They get on great and their chemistry is electric and she did not want that to change. He was very persistant to make her his girlfriend and after quite a while, she gave in.
Now that she gave in he has been CRAP! So, where as before, he was the one calling, texting, wanting to take her out, he now has her and does none of that... It is as if the tables have completely turned!

WHAT?!!?!?!?!? How does a mans mind work? What makes him think "well now i have her, screw it!"
Now, I understand guys love a challenge. They love having something to work for and we play them off as much as we can but as women, we can't help it, we give in. Now as soon as we give in, why is it they go off of us?
Do they feel that now they have won they should move on? Do they think they have the trophy, it only needs a polish every so often? Or now that you are an "item" the sex may not be as good or we may be more needy? It just doesn't make sense.
So this friend of mine is really confused as the ball was completely in her court and now she doesn't know where she stands.

I know if I was in this situation, I think I would have to try and be the stronger one. If thats how he wants to play, fine, let him. The ball was originally in my court and thats how it'll end as well. He can act like he's not interested, but lets be honest, he is a guy and he will come running back. I think I would say to myself "Whatever, he is being childish, im over it!" And then move on. I'd get my girls together, dress up and look sexy as hell and go out on a mad night and make sure he knows about it! If he knows im out having fun and not crying over him, surely that will annoy him? He is a guy, he is trying to prove something. Well, its not happening dude.
So, to my friend, go out! Have fun! Make sure he knows you are out having fun. He will get so frustrated and come running back apologising and wanting you back and once again, the ball will be in your court! Oh, and when he does come running back.. tell him your done and not interested!
Hope that helps.

If you want to contact me you can..
FB: Little Miss V
Twitter: @LittleMissVak

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..x

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight...

Hi dolls,

So, Cher once said "It's in his kiss" and you know what, I completely agree. "How can I tell if he loves me so?" Well, if his kiss oozes with lust and passion, then you know he likes you. Lady Antebellum said "Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,Just a touch of the fire burning so bright, And I don't want to mess this thing up..No, I don't want to push too far.Just a shot in the dark that you just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life so baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight." Sixpence none the richer wanted a kiss beneath the milky twilight where the silver moon was sparkling.

Your probably thinking I'm talking gibberish but think back to a time someone kissed you like they really meant it, like there was no one else in the room, on this planet even and you were just intwined in the most perfect lip lock.

To me a kiss is not just a kiss. I can spend hours kissing and cuddling a guy and not need any more sexual interaction because those kinds of kisses are so special and make you feel so in love. Even Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman said she would do everything and anything to Richard Gere, yet she would not kiss him. Why? Because you can only give a real kiss when you really like some one.

Now days, girls and guys go out to clubs and bars, get drunk and kiss who ever they see. Yes, it is fun and the next morning whilst attempting to cure a hangover, you remember that meaningless kiss or your friends remind you and say "I cannot believe you kissed that guy last night!" It happens to the best of us and you move on because it was meaningless and half the time, you won't see that person again, or even remember their name.

I am so into things old fashioned. I remember how my grandma used to tell me how men would "court" her. Back then, men were GENTLEMEN. You would meet at the local club, disco or bowling alley, they would ring the front door bell, come in to meet your parents and be so polite, they would take you out but have you home at an honest hour, write you a letter or throw a stone at your window to get your attention one night. I WANT THIS!
Why did things change so dramatically? Now days it is completely different. A guy will add you on Facebook and stalk your pictures before anything moves anywhere, say he has seen you out (when a lot of the time he probably has not), you will drive to your own date instead of him picking you up due to slight embarrasment, will take you to a boring restaurant or cinema, try get you back to his place and if not, before you both get into your own cars, there will probably be that end of date awkward snog. SNOG. Who wants a snog?! A snog is not a kiss. And this is what I mean.

I don't want that awkward snog at the end of the night. I want the kiss that will make my heart melt. I want the kiss that will make my stomach turn inside out with butterflies. I want the kiss that will make me go weak at my knees. I want the kiss that will make my leg pop back behind me. I want an upside down kiss like in Spiderman! I want it all!

To be honest, I cannot wait until the day I find the man who's kiss will do all of that to me. Everytime he kisses me, I want it to be like the first and last time we kiss with the most amount of passion you could ever desire.

Ahhhh, how I can only dream!

I hope you enjoyed this blog guys and dolls.

Dont forget, you can keep in touch with me via twitter @LittleMissVak, my facebook page " Little Miss V " or email -

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

Monday, 4 July 2011

It's a heartache... A lovesick man..

Hey Dolls,
Hope you are all well and had a great weekend.
Now this blog is slightly different.
I recieved an email from an annon reader who wanted some help and advice regarding his love life and the girl he is in love with. I have written back to him and given him my advice but I think it would be great for more of my readers to get involved and add points of view. Please leave your comments below or email

Here is his story:

Dear Little Miss Vak

I wanted to share an honest story with your readers and get some feedback and advice. I believe men are misunderstood and that we tend not to give ourselves a good image. I hope my tale will rewrite yours and other people’s opinions of men. We have emotions and sometimes we are big enough to admit and then attempt to correct our errors. This is a love story, but unlike most, it’s yet to realise its happy ending…

Men are often perceived to be prats and we are. We make mistakes and we do things we regret. However, recognising we’ve made a mistake and trying to right the wrong is seemingly rare. I however am trying to correct past mistakes and write a better future for myself and for someone whom I dearly love.

Early this year I was living the dream, I had a girlfriend who loved me as much as I loved her. Things really couldn’t have been better but I let one tiny tiny thing get to me and before I knew it, I’d ended the best relationship I had ever had. What a fool I was. In truth, I probably knew only a few weeks after I’d ended it that I’d made the wrong decision but I didn’t want to admit that to anyone, least of all myself. After all, men can’t be seen to make errors can they?!

The weeks and slowly the months ticked on by. Nothing changed for me; other girls didn’t interest me at all, what was the point when there was only one person on my mind? Still, I couldn’t face up to that. I’m a man, I can’t find fault in anything I do.

Finally, a month ago a light-bulb clicked on in my head. I hadmade a huge error and let the most incredible person go unnecessarily from my life. Trouble was I’d not seen her now for close to three months and we’d rarely spoken. I firmly believe it is never too lateto say sorry and attempt to rectify a situation though.It had taken me too long to realise I was a fool but I had to tell her how I felt. I had to tell her I wanted her back in my life. If she loved me as much as I thought she did then somewhere deep in her heart she’d be able to realise the same feelings I feel now still exist inside of her despite the months of torture that she’d no doubt suffered attempting to move on from me – something she was reluctant to do.

So I plucked up the courage and I told her exactly how I felt, not missing out a single detail. I’m not expecting to jump back into the deep end immediately; it takes time and patience for these things to work. I’d hurt her badly and I had no right to think that I deserved a second chance. However she’s as honest and forgiving as anyone I know – like I said, she’s incredibly special. She’s admitted to me that in her heart somewhere she knows she wants to be back with me but her head is too scared to face that reality.

It’s normal for her to feel scared having been told it was over but then months later be told that actually that was a mistake. However, I won’t hurt her. I couldn’t hurt her again and she has to believe in me. I felt scared merely admitting how I felt to myself but figured I had to do this. It scares me to admit this but it’s not just these next few weeks and months I’m hoping to change, but given how good what we had was, I want to change my life by doingthis.

Luckily we’ve spent some time together lately and unsurprisingly we still get on so well, there’s obvious chemistry. I just need her now to look into her heart and let herself realise her true feelings like I have – I even burst out crying in front of her recently as I tried to explain to her what she means to me. She knows I’m not joking and she can see how important she is in my life. It took me months to realise I had made a mistake; I hope she realises that we’re right for each before months have further elapsed.

Right now I must be patient and let this takes as long as it takes. I can’t begin to explain how hard that is though. Men are impatient, we want instant answers so this is arguably my hardest test. She’s single and whilst it hurts me to think that she may go out and fool around with other guys whilst telling me that I still mean something to her, she’s entitled to do that. However if she wants this to work one would hope that she wouldn’t be with random men anymore – I can’t ask that of her but she can only do that for herself. It won’t work if she continues as a fully-fledged single lady. Everyone has desires and needs – myself included, but my physical urges have been and still are on hold, I’m waiting for her. I hope that soon she will want me again and not Mr Random.

Your readers must understand how much she means to me and just how good we were together. It’s so rare in life you meet someone special and it’s all too easy to suggest that one should never go back on the past however this is different. This is about love not two young people wanting just simply to fool around. Given that men are strong and emotionless, how often could a guy admit to crying in front of a girl because he’s so overwhelmed by the emotions that she evokes?

My request is simple, that she’s honest with herself and allows herself to relax and be loved again (providing she wants that). If she’s not honest with herself she’ll always be scared and we’ll never know what could have been. I believe that she would one day soon like to be back with me but I fear she’ll not let herself be loved again. Everyone likes to be loved, neither she nor I are any different. Not that long ago we used to regularly tell each other how much we loved one another – those strong feelings do not just disappear. I hope that in a year we’ll be able to look back at this and laugh – it’s one of those key moments in life where you know you’re making a decision now that can positively influence your entire future.

Life’s all about risks and gambles. I’ve put myself in a position where I could easily be hurt but because I know that there’s a chance things will work out perfectly it’s worth that risk. I hope she can take these same risks and gambles I have. One kiss may tell her everything she needs to know – those feelings of old may just need to be coaxed out with that most simple of moments when two foreign lips meet. She once loved me and I believe she still does. Despite it still being the early days, it’s timefor her to be brave and overcome her fears – the sooner she can do that, the sooner that my pain and anxiety will be distinguished and the sooner she’ll be loved again and back in the most amazing of relationships.

So, Little Miss Vak, what would you and your readers do or what advice would they give to me or her? It’s no surprise that people who know us have said that we’re meant to be together, that we’re perfect for each other. In the grand scheme of life we’ve had a minor blip and we’ll be stronger as a couple for this; after all, no couple go through life without having to cross a hurdle. I’ve learnt my lessons and will never let her go again, no chance.

Time and patience are the key factors here but in the short-term I hope she can loosen up, take a (100% safe) gamble on me and be true to her heart. If she can’t do that then this may not work and if this isn’t going to work I need to know sooner rather than later as forgiving myself for my errors in the past won’t be easy.

Remember, not all men are bad. Not all guys want to simply get into a woman’s pants – there are some of us who have feelings and emotions, one of which is the ability to love someone else. I am big enough to admit my errors and importantly I’m trying to correct them – it is never too late. We can’t change the past, so it’s time for me and her to write our new, better future, the one I know we both want.


An anonymous lovesick man.

Monday, 20 June 2011

FWB - Friends With Benefits!

Can a girl and a guy have a no strings attached/friends with benefits relationship without one or the other falling in love?!

For me, I am torn on this subject.
I think it can happen, as long as both partners understand that it is not a "normal" relationship. It needs to be fun and easy. No commitments. No pressures. It cannot happen often! I think the reason why FWB relationships don’t last is because some "couples" enjoy the sex, and do it too often, therefore confusing at least one party in the relationship into lust/love.

On the other hand, it sounds great in theory, but is it really possible to have a "successful" FWB relationship? Men and women are different when it comes to sex. A man is physically designed to have sex with no strings attached. A woman is designed to have sex selectively, which means she cannot have sex and detach — thanks to a little hormone called oxytocin (men have this hormone also, women are just more affected by it). This is the "bonding" hormone that makes the woman want to cuddle, connect emotionally, and communicate about the relationship. The female brain needs to talk about relationships like the male brain needs sex.

Personally, I think the whole FWB thing has become a lot more common and known in recent years. Tools like online dating have lead us to believe that the perfect person is just a check box away, so our expectations have increased as we have lost our ability to compromise. So with this, it is easier to find a friend or aquaintance for a FWB relationship.

Ok, so lets weigh up the pro's and cons of a No strings/Friends with Benefits relationship..

* Sex (and probably lots of it)
* Chemistry
* Friendship
* Potential future partner

* One party falling in love
* Boredm
* No real feelings

I want to see this kind of relationship work. It didn't work for Blair and Chuck in Gossip girl, or Emma and Adam in No Strings Attached.. So will it work for me?
I love to really get into my blogs and find out the truth. So I am going to experiment with this. I am going to find a guy, and tell him a FWB relationship is all I want and see what happens.. watch this space!!

If you have any questions, you can email me -, twitter @LittleMissVak


Thursday, 2 June 2011

Sex on Holiday.. The Do's and Don'ts!

Hey Dolls,

I know a lot of you are going away on holiday over the next few months so thought I would give you some tips and advice that you can use whilst on your holiday.

* DO pack plenty of protection:
We all know that practicing safe sex is the right move, but when on holiday, after a few too many cocktails it can slip your mind. Always keep a condom in your handbag or pocket. Your partner may forget, but as long as you don't, you will be safe.. You don't want to come back home from holiday to find out your pregnant and you don't even remember the name of your one night holiday fling (or which one!)

* DO ask for ice lollies at the bar
You have had your eye on the barman all holiday and you want him. Take a minute out of sunbathing and go sit by the bar and ask him for an ice lolly. Unwrap it in front of him and seductively start sucking. Try and get a lot of it in your mouth and suck up the juice. He will be fixed on you and I am sure his trousersnake will give you a wave too. You will be his and your holiday dreams would have come true!

* DON'T forget to be safe during sex in the sea
If things turn from floaty to frisky in the water make sure you are not in the view of others. You may think if you have sex in the sea, the semen can not impregnate you. You are wrong, it can. Swim out to the rocks, put on a condom, and get your sailor on! Do remember though, the water can rub off the lubrication from certain condoms meaning the condom is less smooth and more likely to break. Just be a little more careful, but enjoy it, you will love it!

* DO learn the language
Now I am not telling you to learn the whole dictionary of the country you are going to, but learn a few naughty sayings. If your holiday fling is from the country you are visiting and you know it is just a one night stand, or fling, impress him with your knowledge of dirty vocabulary in his language, he will love it!

* DO exit appropriately
Nobody wants to be seen leaving their conquests room at 5am in their shirt because you can't find your top and your denim shorts! If you are on holiday with your parents, make sure you are not arriving back to the hotel at the same time your father is laying the towels out on the sun loungers. You do NOT want the look of shame!

* DO NOT give him your room key
You may think your Sexy Spaniard or Turkish Delight is the most incredible man ever created by the hands of god himself, but you never know who he really is and who he know's. Do not give him your room key, who knows what he can take, or do! While you are not giving things out, make sure you do not give him your heart either!

* DO enjoy the motion of the ocean
Who wants to be on dry land when you can get wet? Hire out a pedalo or boat and drift out into the ocean so you are far from being spotted. When far out, stop the boat and get down and dirty right there! The movement from the waves will help yours and your partners movement too.

* DO NOT ditch your friends!
If you are getting some holiday hanky panky, make sure your friends know who he is and where you are. Your friends are on holiday to have a good time too, the last thing they need is to be worrying about you! If there is just two of you, make sure she does not mind you going off and she is back at your hotel safe before you go off for your midnight feast! Don't forget you came with your friends and will be leaving with them too. Your holiday romance will most probably fade faster than your tan so don't have hopes of lasting love.

Well, those are the best tips I can give.. The main one I can say is.. HAVE FUN! Holidays are about getting away, enjoying things you wouldn't when your at home. Sit by the pool, drink cocktails, go quad biking, party hard, go sky sailing or jet skiing and just relax and have a good time!

Get me on twitter @LittleMissVak or email

Lotsa Love..
Little Miss V..xx

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Cos you gotta have Faith..!

Hey Dolls,

So after writing the last couple of blogs, I have had numerous tweets and emails asking me how and why I am so confident.
How: Well, I am just naturally outgoing and have a 'I do not really care, I rock" attitude.
Why: Cos I can be!!

We all have it in us to be outgoing and confident. If you are shy and want to be out there more, now is the time!

I have decided to write some tips to help :)

1) Hold on to compliments..
When someone gives you a compliment, a lot of the time we brush it off.
"Wow, you dress is stunning?" Your reply - "Do you like it? I think I look a bit fat in it."
WRONG REPLY! If some one tells you they like your dress, or your hair looks good, or your make up is awesome, or you have lips like Angelina Jolie or a butt like Jlo, you should acknowledge it and accept it. Dont' just think they are being polite. Cherish the appreciation. Store it in your mind so next time when you are feeling a bit low about yourself, just remember that someone told you something positive. Remember that time and how it boosted your self esteem and let it make you feel wonderful again.

2) Body confidence..
As girls, much of our self esteem is wrapped up in body image. You need to find ways to appreciate your body and feel sexy. We all know, the best way to feel great before a night out is a new dress, or a haircut or even a spray tan, but this won't make you feel great each time. Stop critiscising every lump and bump. Embrace what you have. If there are certain things you like about yourself, FLAUNT THEM! Got nice legs? Wear a short dress! Got a good bum? Wear great jeans! Got a nice cleavage? Wear a low cut top! Men love a real woman and will not even notice half the things about yourself you dislike. They will only know when you start moaning about it, and men hate nothing more than a girl who moans! Do not be afraid to feel beautiful!

3)Love the haters..
There will always be people in your life who will hate. Girls especially can be very jelous and envious. When they are, they can go to extreme measures to make you aware. Guys also can be rude, especially when they do not get what you want. In truth, I have been called so many names. People call me fat, people have called me ugly, people have said I will get nothing in life. Well, ye, I may not be a size 10 but I am happy with who I am and how I look and I embrace that. I do not need to be a size 10 to be the happy, funny and outgoing person I am. I know I am beautiful and that is what matters and I want you all to be the same. If someone knocks you down, you get up and move on and let it make you stronger. The only reason someone will say nasty things about you is because deep down, they want to be you!
In the words of Nikki Minaj.. "Shout out to my haters sorry that you couldn't phase me!"

4) Respect..
Respect and love yourself before you let anyone else do it for you!

Confidence comes from loving yourself enough to know you deserve everything you dream of. Whatever flaws you may have, doesn't make you less worthy for all the great things in life. You may feel different and stand out. Well, what makes you different, makes you beautiful.

I hope this helps and if you have any questions you can email me or on twitter @LittleMissVak or comment underneath this blog..

Be fierce, be positive, have faith and share the love!

Love Little Miss V..xx