Hello Dolls,
I have a friend who has been "seeing" a guy for about six months.. (mainly just sleeping together.) He then decided he wanted to be with her but she wanted things chilled and to stay the way they were. They get on great and their chemistry is electric and she did not want that to change. He was very persistant to make her his girlfriend and after quite a while, she gave in.
Now that she gave in he has been CRAP! So, where as before, he was the one calling, texting, wanting to take her out, he now has her and does none of that... It is as if the tables have completely turned!
WHAT?!!?!?!?!? How does a mans mind work? What makes him think "well now i have her, screw it!"
Now, I understand guys love a challenge. They love having something to work for and we play them off as much as we can but as women, we can't help it, we give in. Now as soon as we give in, why is it they go off of us?
Do they feel that now they have won they should move on? Do they think they have the trophy, it only needs a polish every so often? Or now that you are an "item" the sex may not be as good or we may be more needy? It just doesn't make sense.
So this friend of mine is really confused as the ball was completely in her court and now she doesn't know where she stands.
I know if I was in this situation, I think I would have to try and be the stronger one. If thats how he wants to play, fine, let him. The ball was originally in my court and thats how it'll end as well. He can act like he's not interested, but lets be honest, he is a guy and he will come running back. I think I would say to myself "Whatever, he is being childish, im over it!" And then move on. I'd get my girls together, dress up and look sexy as hell and go out on a mad night and make sure he knows about it! If he knows im out having fun and not crying over him, surely that will annoy him? He is a guy, he is trying to prove something. Well, its not happening dude.
So, to my friend, go out! Have fun! Make sure he knows you are out having fun. He will get so frustrated and come running back apologising and wanting you back and once again, the ball will be in your court! Oh, and when he does come running back.. tell him your done and not interested!
Hope that helps.
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Lotsa Love..
Little Miss V..x
Ouch... would never advocate hurting someone.
ReplyDeletePersonally I think that you just got to keep things interesting and exciting once in a relationship - try new things, go out but don't spend too much time together too soon - the friends/girlfriend or boyfriend balance is really important. Clearly he never *really* wanted a relationship badly, maybe just wanted security.
Guys won't always come running back, I wouldn't make that assumption. Better off having a frank, honest chat with him and let him know he has to change his ways or he can piss off. If he really likes her then he'll change, no need to treat him like shit just because she feels she's not been treated perfectly. If you don't like something then don't dish it out to someone else - take the higher ground and act sensibly and with maturity. Lay down the situation to him and put the ball back in his court.
S. says...
ReplyDeleteHe was quite happy with a no strings relationship but by wanting a relationship now he wants to make sure that she doesnt have a similar no strings relationship with any one else. By wanting her to be his formal girlfriend he gains security and no longer has to impress.
She should keep him at arms length. If it was the other way round he would probably run a mile.
She needs to make a decision as to what she wants otherwise she could be left with nothing. Likewise no one else will be interested in either of them if this relationship continues.
Do they want to be with each other or just shag buddies?
Its all about the chase ladys all about the chase wink wink
ReplyDelete@Darwin
ReplyDeleteNot all Men are Dogs. Some are still nice and romantic. They are just hard to find now a days
@Private Girls Australia
ReplyDeleteReally? Maybe I just haven't met one that isn't. :D But I do believe there is that one person meant to be nice and romantic for me. LOL!
well not all boys are like that but if they are kick 'em out dump him and then see who feels sorry!!!
ReplyDeleteNow the hardest part is for her to say she isnt interested and go on with her life. I hope she can and I fully support your night of fun ;) lol
ReplyDelete