Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Dating In Tel Aviv!

I moved to Tel Aviv 5 months ago knowing that I would be in for a ride when it comes to the men here. I grew up with an Israeli father so spent most summers visiting Israel. As I got older and started to come with friends and not family, I got to learn the type of guys that Israel had to offer.
Who wouldn’t want to come to Israel and find a nice, tanned, beach loving Israeli? Over the years I had my fair share of the so called “typical” Israeli guy. You know the kind you love when you are young and na├»ve. The type that we call an ‘ars.’ They are the ones that attract you because of their dark tanned body, dark hair, soft Sephardi skin and great smell.
So let me tell you about one I met not long after I arrived here 5 months ago. *David was tall, long hair tied up (which I used to love) and worked as a manager at a beach bar. I went to this certain beach bar with a friend often and he would always come over and talk to us. There was an attraction from the start and every time I saw him I would instantly eye fuck him.
Though I would do that, I didn’t want to instantly sleep with him or have anything major happen. I am a lady at the end of the day! So when he finally asked for my number I was excited. The mix of my Hebrew and his English worked perfectly. A day after he took my number he called me and asked me on a date. I accepted. He asked me if I wanted to come to his place. Rule number 1, first date – never go to a dudes home unless you are in it just for the shag. So I told him maybe it will be fun if we go for a drink to which he replied, “and then go to my place?” I replied to that with “if you get me drunk enough!”

Obviously I said that as a joke, he didn’t get it. Oops!
So a few days later I go to meet David at a bar near where he lives on Rothschild. Was nice to see him though his baggy jeans and baggy tshirt did absolutely nothing for his skinny body and definitely didn’t look as hot as he did whilst working at the beach bar in his rolled up jeans and tight shirt. Anyway, we had some snacks, conversation was flowing as were the drinks non stop. David then moved closer to me and started to kiss me. Now I am not one for PDA, especially with a guy I hardly know so kissing me in public is a big no no. I kissed back then released and carried on drinking. Clearly David and I had different impressions of where this night was going.

I thought about continuing to drink because to be honest, being drunk was the only way I was going to be able to handle this guy. So I take another sip of my drink and his hand moves to my leg. Ok, whatever, have a squeeze I don’t mind. Then, as I took another sip of my drink, his hand moved from my leg, up to my vajayjay. We are in the middle of a bar and he has his hand grabbing my lady garden!
I was so shocked I spat my drink out. He starts talking in his deep Israeli accent, “oh baby I want you lets go to my place I want to do bad things to you, I want to hurt you, I want to slap you, I want to bite you, I want to bruise you, I want to make you mine!”
Do I look like a ragdoll to you? Do I look like someone you can abuse? Am I a possession? HELL NO!

So I stood up and told him I was leaving. He stood up to try and make me stay. I looked down to his package as I could see his massive boner.
“Down boy” I said to them both and off I walked.

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