Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Quest for love = Sex?!

Hey dolls,

Hope you are well.

It has been a while since I wrote a blog about love/sex so here is one to get your minds going!

A friend and I were having a conversation recently about growing up, being single, life and sex and she mentioned she thought it was ok to have sex with guys on the first date because it could lead to a long term relationship.
Is it bad that I sat there and laughed in her face?
Not at the fact that she has sex on the first date, but at the fact that she so desperately wanted a boyfriend, that she would have sex with them to see if they were potential.

For me, personally, I like to find out about a guy before he makes it to the bedroom scene. In my head, I make it like a movie. You meet, you text/call, you go on a date, and then another date, find out about eachother, let that chemistry really go wild where it gets to the stage that not only do you feel so comfortable with that person but you also madly want to rip their clothes off.
Now, I say this but has this scene happened recently? NO! Once again, I am living in a movie :)

I do not disagree with my friend though. A lot of time, you meet a guy, click straight away, go on a date and end up having sex. Sometimes yeah, it can end up being a one night stand, but when it isn't, I guess it is great to see where it goes.
I also agree with her because it could be that you meet a guy, you are so compatible, a great connection and you wait untill lets say the 6th date where now you have been seeing eachother for two months and you really like him, you then get into bed with him and after a two minute session, you are naturally gutted and you know its over!

But do some women feel that finding their quest for love is through sex? I asked 5 friends their opinion. 3 said they did not mind having sex on the first date if they knew he would be a potential match, 1 said she didn't mind sex on the first date regardless and the 1 other said she would never have sex just to see if he could be a potential boyfriend. Her reason being that if you are compatible and there is a connection, the bedroom activity should come after and not matter as much and if it is not great, get toys! << I LOVE that! :)

When it comes to sex on the first date though, there surely are a lot of things that would run through a girls mind? Is this just a one night stand? Will it be more? Will he think I am a slut for shagging on the first date? Will he think I am easy and contact me for a 'booty call?'
Wow, being a girl is hard! Makes you mad that guys easily get away with it!

I would love to hear everyone else's point of view on this. Would you have sex on the first date if you thought he was a potential boyfriend? Would you have sex on the first date regardless? Would you rather save it for down the line? Please get in touch and let me know by adding a comment on this post..

You can also contact me via or follow me on twitter @LittleMissVak ..

Lots of love dolls..

Little Miss V..xx


  1. I disagree - I think the opposite is true. If you think your date might lead to a relationship the surefire way to stop that happening is to have sex on the first date. For several reasons:
    * Guys lose interest once they've seen everything - you need to build the suspense for at least a couple more dates.
    * Guys might get the wrong impression about you? - Why would a guy want to have a 'slag' as a girlfriend? [Im defo not saying sex on a first date makes you a slag, but in the eyes of some men - you might be put into the 'fun at night, not by light' category rather than the 'i can see a serious future with this person' category.
    * Dating is a negotiation, you don't show all your cards in the first round - you reveal things bit by bit.

    On the other hand, if you like the person but know deep down that nothing is going to last, then by all means....shag away!

  2. I would have sex if i knew it would lead somewhere, i agree with you friend.

  3. Noway! U need to leave a little mystery... U need to keep that wanting to rip eachothers clothes off for as long as you can!
    You can't go on one date with someone and think u want them as your boyfriend! We al have intentions... Yours may be to settle and his may be to have sex!

    If you choose to lay all your cards out straight away... You leave yourself so open to get hurt! No matter what sex you are...

    And plus let him woo you! Let him sweep you off your feet! Us woman like to be wood! Why shouldnt we we deserve it!


  4. Sorry, completely disagree with your friend and definitely speaking for the majority of guys here; any girl who has sex on their first date will immediately be seen as nothing more than a potential booty call. No guy wants to marry a girl who puts out on the first date! For a very short term fling it's fine, but any guy who's dating this girl will immediately think she's put out to a lot of guys. And if a relationship is based on sex (which most of the time is what it becomes) then it is gonna lead nowhere!

  5. Thank you all for your comments. I love hearing peoples point of view.
    I agree with all of you. Dan, you are right. If you like him, it is good to hold out. Jo, I agree with the waiting and wanting to be 'wooed.' What happened to men being gentlemen? And Mr Annon, I love having a males point of view!

  6. That is so true! Sometimes, or most of the times, thinking about love as it is in the movies is way better than what others say. Nice post! :)

  7. Being compatible in sex is a huge part of finding real love. That's what I think. Nice entry.

  8. This was a good entry. I just stolled onto your site today for the first time and have enjoyed reading these. Sex on a fist date= BAD idea. Men love the chase..if you give him everything right up front- they will get bored. Not to personally-if i have sex with someone- im doing it because i like them and see a future but forget it if its the first date- he'll move on and you'' be left wondering wtf happened! Be careful chickadees! :)

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