Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Horniest Countries in the world!

Anyone who knows me, knows the exact type of guys I go for. The Italian Stallion, The Greek God or the Spanish Sizzler. Basically, a hot med type
While Euro 2012 was on it gave me time to look at the men in the different countries. Don’t get me wrong, I was watching the football but let’s not kid, I am a woman and I like to look at the hotties running around in shorts. I decided to do some research and look into some countries around the world containing the horniest people or who has the best sex.

Let’s start with the Greek God. According to a Durex survey, Greece is the horniest country in the world! Considering Mykonos is known as ‘The World’s adult playground’ this does not surprise me. I guess this stems back to the ancient days where Eros was named as the Greek God of Love (aka Cupid.) Unfortunately Eros had a tiny cock. (look above) I guess all the Greeks I have been with must be related to him then! So, if visiting Greece, take protection! (And I don’t mean sun tan lotion!!) Horny little fucks!

Over to Brazil now. Of course Brazil is going to be on my list, it is the birthplace of the thong! In Brazil, sex is as essential as breathing and according to a survey, Brazilians have the longest sex, lasting up to 30 minutes. With hotties like Alessandra Ambrosio and Gisele coming from there, you can only imagine what other Brazilian ladies look like. Don’t forget the Carnival in Rio which happens once a year, even your local doctor is out there shaking what her mumma gave her!

Want to join in with a massive orgy? Well look no further than Japan! The Japanese recently set a new world record with over 500 people taking part in an orgy. Imagine the amount of femfresh and fabreeze they would have needed. The sweet high pitched sounds coming out of people’s mouths would have given Mariah Carey a run for her money. Head over to Harajuku (not just a doll/little bitch of Gwen Stefani) a small part of Tokyo and you will find an insane amount of fetish fashion shops. Whips and chains clearly excite them a bit too much.

Just one cornettttoooooo give it to meeeee.. Sorry, there I was thinking I was in Italy. Well, let me tell you that with the rate they get on it, I would like to be. Clearly there is something in Mama’s spaghetti bolognaise sauce because the Italians are going at it like rabbits. Even the OAP’s are known to be youthful in the way they get down and dirty. As they say, “When in Rome, Do as the Roman’s do.” So basically when in Italy, eat your spag bog, cover yourself in olive oil and bang like the footballs going into Buffon’s goal!

 If like me, the sound of a man’s voice can make your lady bits quiver then join me in Espana where we can find men like Javier Bardem. A sexy latino lover is something every girl needs in her life. For the guys too, Jennifer Lopez would be on the top of the list. Drinking sangria and having a siesta really is the life.

Thailand is not all about full moon parties or Island hopping. No, it’s about having a quickie. Thai fucks are known to be the shortest in the world, lasting only about ten minutes max. If I was a bloke out in Thailand I think it would be that quick too after going down on your hot Thai chick to find out she is really a he with a gigantic pork sword. Ladyboy galore!

Paris, the city of love. Numerous amounts of people each year visit the Eiffel Tower to propose to their partners. You would think this city has the smell of love flowing around the streets. Mistaken. The French are known for their uptight attitude towards sex, or anything for that matter. You're best bet is to stay away, not only will you have the most boring sex in the world but a survey has found out that French girls are in the top 5 list in the world of faking an orgasm. Plus, they are hairier than a Turkish man running the portable kebab shop at a festival.

Want to visit a brothel? Head over to Tel Aviv, Israel as there are over 250 shops knocking around. This is interesting for me to read as that is my second home and I didn’t even know this. When I was 18 a friend took me to a sex shop there and I was sure I heard noises coming from the back room, now I know why.

Now look around you. Most of you who will be reading this will be like me, from England where the girls spend all their money on fake tan and eyelashes and the boys spend their time smoking weed or playing fifa. Makes you realise what a shit country we live in. Are the men hot? No. Are the women hot? No. We have a country full of chavs, asbos, caravans and fake Burberry. Eros’ small Greek cock looks so appealing next to an English bloke right now!

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