Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Wanna sit on my Face(book) while I suck your Tweet?

 I am a massive fan of social networking sites. If you are reading this blog, it is most likely that it was passed to you through a friend on Facebook or someone you follow on Twitter. It is great to meet new people online and hear about new brands or restaurants etc, but one thing I cannot seem to comprehend is the amount of followers I have on Twitter that also follow girls who get naked and post pictures.

I will be going through my timeline on Twitter when all of a sudden I will see a ReTweet from a bloke of a girl’s tits or vagina. Like yesterday, there were a few that came up with the caption #TittyTuesday. Ok, I know we have #FF (follow Friday) where you can find new people to follow but now we have #MingeMonday, #TittyTuesday, #WankingWednesday, #TittyThursday, #FuckingFriday. So you can image the types of pictures I have seen. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind seeing pictures of the occasional tits or cock but flipping heck, it is becoming more and more visual.

Take Chelsea Ferguson (@ChelsFergo on Twitter) she has over 100,000 followers and why?? Because all she does it tweet pictures of her tits and naked body. I have checked out her pictures and ye, I won’t lie, they aren’t that bad but nothing special at all. She has fake tits and an average body. So pictures of her tits got her 100,000 followers? This is something I just do not understand. Today she tweeted pictures of her bum with a thong on. Do guys truly find that exciting??

I actually tweeted Chelsea who then replied to me with the stupidest comment I have ever received. She called me.. dum dum drum roll please… ‘a jealous hater!’ HAHA! Yes Chelsea, I am a hater. I have drunk two litres of Haterade today. I hate on you because you tweet naked pictures. I am jealous. I wish I was you. Bore off. If I wanted to upload pictures of my tits or minge, I would, but that’s not my thing, (I send them privately haha!) If tweeting naked pictures of yourself brings you satisfaction and makes you happy, go for it. If knowing random, old men are bashing one out in their workplace toilets because you tweeted your tits makes you feel proud, you continue. I bet their mothers are so proud!

Where have the days gone where men would go to a shop and pick up a copy of FHM or Nuts or Zoo and have a wank over the middle page girl or the page 3 girl in the Sun newspaper. Jodie Marsh and Jordan both got famous that way and got PAID! So I am sure their mothers were happy when they were rolling down the hill to the bank.

These girls get nothing from it but followers. I decided to put the titty pic to the test. I tweeted a picture of my cleavage with hash tags of #cleavage #tits #naked #boobs and I received ten new followers who all started sending me dirty messages. One guy messaged me saying “your tits are the bun my dick is the hot dog, I wanna slide it in between!” I instantly threw up in my mouth. Bleurgh. Did he honestly think I was going to get turned on by his message? I replied with a kind “thank you.” Creeped out majorly.

I looked at conversations between these horny mongrels online to find that some of them were having what is known to our generation as “cyber sex.” Here is a conversation I read between two people tweeting. (I won’t use their real twitter names but her name is Tina and his is Frank.)
Frank: That picture you uploaded of your pussy made me so hard baby.
Tina: Ummm baby I am happy you are getting hard for me.. Can I do anything else for you?
Frank: Baby I want you here.. I want you to sit on my juicy fat cock.
Tina: I am imagining it now, I am so wet for you.
Frank: I am going to make you explode around me baby.
Tina: I’m nearly there gorgeous.. ummm just imagining now.
Frank: Keep going. Harder. Ride me.
Tina: Harder harder harder. Wow. I’m done. Thanks baby!

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, one moment, I cannot stop laughing. Well done Frank. You made a girl cum in 8 sentences. You must be so proud. So while Frank is 45 and sitting on his ass in his flat on the dole doing nothing, Tina is at work in her office where she works as a receptionist. As you are probably aware, Tina is basically tweeting the same thing to 2000 other followers for some kicks knowing men like her, while Frank was blatently having a proper wank. Good times!

There are some things in this world worth sharing, like a job promotion or a new baby or even how much you love your partner, but come on people, stop sharing pictures of your vagina which hangs lower than the dusty curtains in your nans flat! Honestly, I saw a picture yesterday of @XamberX8807X vagina with the quote “Hello Kitty,” I thought I was going to see a Hello Kitty purse or bag or an actual cat. Instead what I viewed instead has scarred me for life. It was a picture of her vagina and never in my life did I think one could look like that. It was like a fish’s inside had come out in a shark accident. Check it out. Or don’t. I still feel sick.

One picture that I saw which actually blinded me (and literally could if you are not careful) was the penis of @MakeMeHard12. Girls, that takes two. If you see any pictures worth sharing or funny stories let me know by tweeting me @LittleMissVak or email me,

Have a nice day dolls!

Little Miss V..xx

PS, big shout out to Dash, who has read all of my blogs since 2009 in 2 days!! LEDGE!!


  1. I'm a red blooded guy. But it does nothing for me when a girl puts it all on display on twitter. The line "less is more" has more appeal and at least leaves something to the imagination. It is more fun to follow someone who has a personality, a brain, is funny, and has more up top than below their neck line.

    What's more, how do you know that the picture they are tweeting is actually them or their parts. Imagine meeting them to find out she is some big ugly biffa and he is like Steptoe.

  2. Crackin Piece Lil Miss Vak Good luck for the awards