No Strings Attached!

I was talking with a male friend of mine about no strings attached sexual relationships. He asked me as a girl, is it ok to have one? I replied, “of course it is, as long as you are aware of what type of fling it is and what your partner’s expectations are!”

So obviously we got onto the conversation about it. Can women have sex like men? It is one of those taboo questions if you think about it. Guys will always say no, and that if a woman has sex like a man does, she is a slut. Why is that? Why must we be titled some kind of label for doing the same as them?

It isn’t always so straightforward though. It’s often assumed that men think of sex as just a physical act with ‘no strings’ more often than women do. But when it comes down to it, it can actually be confusing for both sexes. You see, after sex, our bodies are rushing with post-orgasmic chemicals – main one being Oxytocin which tells our brain that we want to bond emotionally as well as physically, meaning one of you may want to cuddle after the huddle. So, with this in mind, is no strings attached sex ever ok?

 

The Friend with Benefits:
Do not believe what you see/read/hear people. Without a doubt, one side will always fall for the other eventually. This type of NSA sex will go one way or another. It can either turn into a great relationship or someone gets hurt. In my experience and from having FB’s, it usually just goes sour anyway. No FB can ever really turn into a real buddy.

The Tinder Hook Up:
You both know what it is. You met online, conversation got flirty quite instantly, you are watsapp messaging and next thing you know, you are on a night out with your friends drunk and you end up at this person’s apartment. Great first meet. I doubt there will be any snuggles after. Clean and go people, clean up and go!

The Rebound:
I think this one is usually more beneficial for the guy. You know, a girl just got out of a relationship and she needs revenge sex to feel like she’s getting back at her ex (when really, he couldn’t give two shit’s and already started sleeping with someone a week after they broke up.) Guys, if you are looking for casual sex, this could be the one for you. Give her your shoulder if she needs to cry, your ears if she wants you to listen, and then your dick for when she is ready to suck. But, you need to be careful with this one that she doesn’t mislead your wanting of sex and ‘being there for her’ as more and a potential relationship. Make it clear that you are there to help her release her sexual demons!

The Drunk Partygoer:
It’s 2am, you are wasted in a bar and the guy/girl you like is giving you the look. You know, basically eye fucking you. So take the eye fucking to the next level to real fucking. Whisper sweet words into his/her ear and get them home with you. Whatever happens, the next morning make sure you don’t leave without a goodbye. Even if you had beer goggles on and are completely not interested, there is nothing worse than waking up with a hangover and rejection all in one.

The Friend of a Friend:
So it’s a friend’s birthday party and there is a whole group of you out and you spot someone in the group you like and you go over and flirt. You completely hit it off and have both had a bit to drink so what seem like harmless fun at the time could get awkward at the breakfast table the next morning. Don’t avoid eye contact and try to make jokes. Always keep that situation on a good level because don’t forget, you have mutual friends and you will both be embarrassed.

 So, here’s the down low. All of you reading this can probably relate to one (or more) of these situations. I know I can. If you are in it for sex, and just sex then good for you, but be careful that Oxytocin doesn’t creep in because once you lean in for that one snuggle, it all goes down the shitter. As guys are bad at messaging, make sure you message the girl. We don’t need phone calls and hearts, but a text here or there to assure us it wasn’t just meaningless can go a long way. If you can tell that the other side wants more and you don’t, just be honest. Honesty is the best policy.

 

Good luck guys and girls! If anyone has any good stories for me about NSA relationships, email me at blogdoll21@gmail.com

 Little Miss V..xx

 

When Mr.Boots Met Ralph..

Has anyone ever asked you what the craziest thing you have said/done to get out of a bad date? Someone asked me once and I had to think really long and hard. Now, what happened last night will always spring to mind.

It was a warm, August evening in Tel Aviv and I had agreed to meet my date, we will call him Mr. Boots for now, at the beach for a chilled, relaxing evening. Sometimes it’s nice to get away from the generic ‘bar’ date.

Boots is one I met on Tinder and we had been chatting for 6 days. Conversation was always flowing and he seemed really funny and sweet, a bit on the desperate side, but ok. So I agreed to meet him when he said he had a day off of work, being a baggage handler at the airport, and wanted to keep his evening free for me.

So the date comes around and there he is standing in all his 5 foot seven glory, (sense the sarcasm here please, I am the same height) and smiling from ear to ear. He gave me a hug hello with his nice, muscly arms and down to the sand we went. He bought the drink, I bought the blanket and there we sat. Conversation got flowing and I now realise I should ask guys for pictures of them smiling, not just the ones on their profiles. Boots’ pictures were all a bit posey or mouth shut selfies. So when he talked, I saw the inside of his mouth. I wish I hadn’t. His gums were so red it looked like he had a severe gum infection. His teeth were an awful shade of custard and his lips were really chappy and cracked. Strike 1!

Trying to put all of that aside, I remember his hat. He was wearing a trucker hat to a first date. Moving my eyes downwards, I notice his boots. Yes, boots. It is August in Tel Aviv meaning that it is about 30 degrees at night and he is wearing boots. I was so shocked I said to him, “it’s like 50 degrees out why would you be wearing boots?” His answer, “when I came back from America I was so broke I didn’t have any money to buy new shoes!” Strike 2. My reply, “didn’t you get back 5 months ago?” His reply, “yeah but I literally had no money!” Nobody wants to hear about how brass you are. I am no gold digger but I am not messin with some broke… male.

As the date goes on, already despising so much about him, he starts talking about other girls he has dated. Strike 3. Do you think I care why it didn’t work out with each and every one of them? No, I don’t. By now, as you can tell, I was beginning to get frustrated and I knew I had to get out of this date somehow. I didn’t want to be the bitch I know I can be and say, “listen, this isn’t gonna work so let’s end it now.” If I did that, I would have to walk away first and that would have been awkward, seeing as we were sitting on my blanket.

So I made something up. Something so bizarre and ridiculous. Something I don’t think anyone apart from me, this brilliant actress could do. I told him I had a dick. Yes, you read correctly. I told this boy, who had driven 25 minutes to see me and who was so excited, that I am a transgender now going through my transition. That I had my Adam’s apple shaved, my breasts implanted and my testosterone levels reduced due to the oestrogen I was taking. I even told him that my dick and balls had shrivelled so small because of the medication as it’s the only way to have the surgery to make me a natural vagina.

Where was this all coming from? How was I able to communicate all of this to him without hysterically laughing? Luckily, I like a good documentary so I thank my lucky stars I watched one on transgenderism. Obviously he didn’t believe me. He kept laughing and trying to make jokes and there I was tough face on, acting as if I was being deadly serious. I even told him not to joke as it is so sensitive for me.  He finally started to believe me.

Well, at that point we both knew the date was coming to an end. “Why didn’t you tell me over our messages instead of making me drive 25 minutes to meet you?” He asked. Come on, what’s 25 minutes?! Anyway, I replied with, “I guess I just liked you and thought you may be different from the rest, but it’s ok, you’re the same and I understand that not every guy will be accepting of this.” How I am not an actress, I will never know. He didn’t know what to say so I mentioned that I think the date is over. As we were saying good bye I went to high five him, (for some odd reason, like who even high fives these days??) and asked him, “Do you hate me?” “I don’t hate you but I don’t like that you lied to me.” Fair enough. “Do you wanna hug it out?” I asked. To his reply, “ummm we can have a hug but nothing else!” So hugged we did and off I went and immediately phoned my best friend to tell her this insanely creative, awesome yet ridiculously bizarre, crazy, stupid story!

PS, my dicks name was Ralph.