Tuesday, 25 November 2014

To Rebound Or To Not Rebound Sex..


There has come a stage in each one of our lives where we have broken up from a partner and felt a little sad and lonely. You know, that part where you are in bed, all alone, wishing someone else was there next to you, until BOOM, you turn over in the bed to cuddle the person you thought was there and instead, discover a whole side to a bed you didn’t know you had! The cold, soft side has been there all along, who knew?! You now don’t feel so alone. You lay in bed making angel shapes as if you were in the snow as you have so much space.

But what happens when you turn back to your side and no one is there to spoon you and turn you on in the middle of the night. Then, the sense of loneliness comes back to haunt you. 

Then you think to yourself, wouldn’t a bit of rebound sex fix all these bad feelings I am having?
When I broke up with my ex, I genuinely made a rebound sex list. I have a high sex drive, I enjoy sex but now I am not in a relationship, I thought to myself, “What am I going to do?” So I made a list. A list of potential people I could sleep with including people I previously dated, people I previously slept with, friends I have a crush on, a bar tender from a bar down the road and even a guy from Tinder. There they were. All these names on a list and I didn’t know where to start.

Don’t get me wrong and think I am an emotionless bitch. (Umm ok, I kinda am!) I do have feelings, (sometimes) and was sad to be going through a break up but I am just not one of those girls who can sit and mope around. I have an ego. I need to feel desirable again and I personally think the best way to get over a break up is go out and have fun. (That doesn’t mean go have sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry.) I mean to go out with your girls, meet some guys and not sit around at home crying over past pictures or messages. There is a reason you broke up, take it, embrace it and move on.

So I have come up with some steps to navigate whether or not you are ready for rebound sex:

1)      Be true to yourself.
If this break up has torn you to the point that you cannot eat, sleep or get out of bed and feel like death is the next step, then do not do it. You are not ready. Don’t even pretend and say “I’m fine” because you are not. Casual sex will make you feel like shit and you may decide to slit your wrist after for feeling like a whore.

2)      Be honest with your partner.
If you are able to get out of bed, go have fun and have casual sex, let the person know where you are at. If you just want to let your inner sexual beast out and are not wanting anything more than some NSA sex, let them know. Let your partner make the decision as to whether or not they want to hook up with you in your current situation. Girls, guys will not give a shit that you just broke up with someone. In fact, guys like being rebound shag. Guys, be honest with the girl. Girls do not take things the same way and may feel as if they are being used. Honesty is the best policy here bitches!

3)      Do it for the right reasons.
You may have had a shitty break up and are pissed off at your ex. If this is the case, don’t go and shag your ex’s best friend to get back at them. Never be that kind of moron! It may be that near the end, the sex was lame and you are gagging for a good session. Have rebound sex because you want to feel good!

4)      If your feelings change, stop!
Sometimes when you come out of a relationship you move on, have casual sex and think you can handle it. Next thing you know, you are into your new fuck buddy and you start getting feelings. If that happens, stop. It will only be yourself that will get hurt. Do not mix sex and emotions. Never a happy ending.

5)      Be safe!
Most of you are not stupid enough to go hang out at your local hooker alley and by drugs, so I don’t mean you need to be safe in that way, I have faith in y’all. What I mean is to be safe and use protection because you know, when you are in a relationship it is great not to have to use condoms and now that you are sleeping with the old crush, the tinder and the bar tender, you never know who they have been sleeping with. Don’t be a fool, wrap the tool!


Lots of Love..

Little Miss V..xx

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