Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Too Picky?

Hey dolls,

So, it has come to my attention after seeing it happen amongst my friends that some of you are just way too picky when it comes to finding a partner. A lot of my girlfriends tell me they find it so hard to find a guy, don't get me wrong I have said that many a time too but maybe it is because we look for something more than what we find.

Take my friend Ariella for example. Stunning girl, absolutely beautiful with a great personality too and can literally get any guy she wants but she only likes the good looking pretty boys. Has being with these model looking men helped her in life? NO. They have all been pricks to her. So when I told her maybe she needs to actually forget the looks for a minute so she can find a nice guy, her face dropped.

To me, looks comes after personality. If a guy can make me smile, hold conversation, make me laugh and give good kisses, instantly he is in my good books and I will give him a chance. Once you get to know someone it is their personality and things about them you fall for not just the looks. Listen, there are alway going to be things about people we don't like. Nobody is perfect. There will be something in every person you meet that you may like.
I went speed dating once and out of about 15 guys I met, I could have put the perfect man together out of 5 of them. It is so rare that you will meet someone that has everything you wish for in a partner.
I think pickiness comes with laziness. I know a lot of girls and guys for that matter think that their perfect person will just come to them. Even if you are out in a bar we sometimes just pick up an excuse to not talk to the person because he may not have something you are looking for. We’ll think to ourselves: “Well, he’s not my 100% perfect guy, so he’s not really for me.” And we’ll often use this as our excuse EVEN IF WE’VE NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO HIM!
I know this behaviour because I’ve done it myself god knows how many times. I would look at someone at a party I wanted to speak to, avoid conversation with him all night, and then in my head I would make up some lame excuse about how he was probably shallow and lame anyway because it made me feel better about not taking a chance.

I do agree that you do have to be fussy when it comes to relationships. A relationship is a big commitment. If you are just having sex with someone, fine, make sure he is as hot as Channing Tatum and hung like a donkey, but if you are trying to settle you can be a bit fussy. Relationships require time, energy, emotional investment - all big commitments. So do not waste these things on someone who is not going to treat you like a goddess.

Should we be picky at every stage of the dating/relationship process? No. At the beginning of it all, when you have met someone and you are about to go on a date etc you need to be totally unpicky. This is the time when you are single and looking for a partner. If you weren't, you wouldn't be going on the date in the first place. So give out lots of chances. Get a feel for different guys (that does not mean grabbing their balls to see who has the biggest package) but see who ticks what boxes.
I have come to notice that there are a lot of good men out there. Rare me saying this because I have met a load of twatters in my life but I think it is so good to go out and date and find different qualities in different people. Even if you don't like someone you date romantically, keep them as a friend. You can never have enough friends and if the date went well I am sure hanging out as friends will be just as good.

Some advice.. -
1) Don't be too judgemental. It is such a bad quality. It's hard to see the good in people when you are only looking for the bad!
2) Stop overvaluing the wrong things and start to value the important things. Sometimes you will actually end up with someone who you really didn't think you were compatible with because you have different views and values. Boys, don't think you have to be with a girl JUST because she watches football. I watch football and actually really like it, don't think I'm a catch just cos of that (I am a catch we all know it!) but look to find the other things about her you can fall for. Girls, don't not date a guy because he likes art and museums and you don't because you like shopping and tanning. Differences are good. Opposites attract!
3) Don't just go on appearance. Not every man looks like McSteamy, Ryan Reynolds or Colin Farell (bloody wish they did I won't hide it) and i'm not just talking looks, but money also. I know a lot of girls who won't date a guy just because she knows he hasn't got a large bank account. Get your head out your asses. Stop being so superficial. We all have a 'type' there is no denying it, you know, if I always went based on my 'type' I don't think I would get very far. Tall, dark, green eyes, plays a musical instrument and has tattoos. I haven't found my 'type' up until now and probably won't! (However, if someone does find him and he is nice and funny send him my way!) But seriously, get the image of having a 'type' out your head. Just because his skin is lighter than you like and his eyes are brown not green doesn't mean he won't rock your world, he probably will!
4) Don't let your hornyness chose for you! Sometimes I see a guy and think 'phwoarrrr he would get it!' (Yes, I am vulgar, I know!) But, thats all he would get. When your vajayjay does the talking it is most likely that you want that guy just for a shag. It is usually the ones you think "I'm not sure if he would get it" that actually give it better and are better partner material. Boys, same for you, don't place too much credibility in your cock's ability to chose your next girl.
 In life there is no right cookie but you just have to pick a cookie and take a bite ;)
Get in touch..
Twitter: @LittleMissVak
Lots of love..
Little Miss V..x


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