Toast To Your Girls!

I just finished watching a video from a lecture class at Stanford University. The lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, football, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely.

Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers/best friends, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged, this however is not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. So, let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health. :)

I Predict A Riot...

Sitting at my office desk near a dual carriageway in North West London, I see out the window four police swat cars drive by. I am wondering which area they are heading to.

Looking at the picture above, you would think people are running away from a bomb or terrorist attack, this is hardly the case.

Mark Duggan shot a bullet from his gun at a policeman last week in Tottenham. The policeman then shot back, and killed Mark, a father of four and a known drug dealer. This was the beginning of a lit spark, to fuel riots.

For the last three days, but with the worst yesterday, we have seen a new low of British people. Buildings are being set on fire, cars being vandalized and shops being looted. Nobody actually knows a reason as to why this is happening. I understand it started with people in Tottenham mad at the police for shooting and killing someone, but how did one shooting fuel so much anger in people that they felt it necessary to do the damage to our city that is being done now?

In broad daylight, people are being mugged. One injured boy thought he was being helped by a gang who then robbed him of his belongings from his backpack. A police man was seriously injured when a brick was thrown at him. This is just ludacris behaviour of yobs who simply have nothing better to do with their time.

It has got so serious now and spread throughout the country. Something so small that started in Tottenham has now spread to Ealing, Croydon, Hackney, Peckham, Ealing, Camden Town, Notting Hill and even moved up North to Birmingham, Liverpool and Leeds.

From images you are seeing on the news, you would think that there is a war, or people are running from terrorist threats, when in fact, it is mindless Brits terrorising their own towns and communities. Kids as young as 13 are joining in and you wonder where there parents are!

On Friday, I am flying to Israel. A country who has had numerous amounts of protests and demonstrations over the last month. Not one person walked away harmed. The Israeli's said their piece and left in peace. They are a country who live with wars and terrorist attacks. Why are they able to still be strong? The reason is because they have an army. Where is our army? Oh yes, PROTECTING us by fighting on the front line in Afghanistan. Our soldiers bravely leave their families to fight for our country, to stop terrorist attacks and what for? For the youth of today to ruin it all. They do not know why they are fighting now. They just want a fight and to steal free gear! Give these youths a gun and tell them to stand on the front line at a war zone, then let them think they are big men!

I truly feel sorry for the police. Working so hard to protect the streets and losing. All they have is shields. What about water cannons or rubber bullets? Shoot the youths doing the damage. Our country is being weak and they need to step up and be strong and fight for the rights of the rest of us!!

I would love to hear what you all think.. please leave comments!!

Little Miss V..xx

Who let the dog's out?

So, last night I went dogging.
Ok, so I didn't actually GO dogging, but ended up in Scratchwood Park, off the A41, not far from my house in London.
Let me make you aware, this is not a normal evening activity for me. It came about after a night out with friends, dogging came into conversation. We talked about it and decided to go check out what dogging is all about.

Some of you may be thinking, what is dogging?

Well, Dogging is a predominantly British activity that involves outdoor exhibitionism in car-parks, wooded areas and places as such. The term "dogging" originated in the early Seventies to describe men who spied on couples having sex outdoors. These men would 'dog' the couples' every move in an effort to watch them. When the swinging scene discovered that open-air sex has its own special thrill they began meeting in car-parks, and the doggers had a new found fun activity. The doggers soon realised that these couples were actively encouraging them to watch, even performing for them, and sometimes allowing them to join in.

So, five of us piled into my friends car and off we went. I was sat in the front of the car, and as we drove in, I felt a sense of sickness. Mainly because as we drove down the gritted road, we saw men sat in their cars waiting to be "flashed." Being flashed is when someone flashes their car lights to let the "dogs" know that they are about to embark in some sexual activities. The "dogs" will then stand by the car and watch. We saw some men standing outside their cars, looking into other cars to see if any action was happening. Everytime someone walked past our car, I was telling everybody to be quiet as I was actually scared one of these men would be some sort of lunatic of rapist and pull me from the car, hense asking the driver every ten minutes if the doors were locked!

After abour twenty minutes, we decided to leave. I was glad to get out of there and open a window! (I had the car window shut the whole time we were there as I was scared an old man would come and spunk on my face or something!)
I was intriegued to know more about dogging and after some research, I found out
that there are forums for doggers! One website offers you a list of the best "dogging" places to go near to where you live. The one we went to, Scratchwood, was on the list as one of the best ones "with a lot of action" happening there. This was by far the case last night!

So, in conclusion and in my opinion, I can say I find the whole "dogging" thing weird and creepy. Do you really want to have sex in your car in a forest with an old man watching you and wanking off to your pleasurable moment? If people get off by things like this, then that is their choice, but to me, I think these men are perverts and are better off investing their money in a blow up doll than petrol to dogging areas!

I would love to know what people think about the whole "dogging" world, or if you yourself have been dogging or been a "dog." Please comment below or alternitavely, you can email me at blogdoll21@gmail.com..

Lotsa love..

Little Miss V..x

It's a date!

Hey dolls,


So, I have had quite a few people ask me what kind of things you should or should not do/say when on a date!
This blog is mainly pointed towards the girls but there are some tips in here that guys will also find useful.

So, here are things I believe in..

DO NOT...

1. Bring baggage to the date

By baggage I am talking about insecurities and the dramas of your life. No guy wants to hear about all the things that have happened to you, or the last relationship you were in. Guys HATE hearing about your ex. Even if you tell them how bad your ex treated you thinking you are hinting so they will do better..they WON'T.. He is out on a date with you because he likes you, so please don't turn off his attraction signals by revealing your insecurities for the world to see.

2. Talk too much

It is always drummed into a mans mind that being a good listener will get them in the good books of most women, and for a lot of men, this means they will sit back and let you talk relentlessly without stepping in, purely because it seems like the thing to do. The truth is that the guy wants to talk about himself as much as you do, so ask him thought provoking questions about him and his goals and let him talk.

3. Show signs that you are not relaxed

A guy who is on a date with you wants the real you, not a nervous you that conceals all of your best features. Something to remember when dating men is not to let other singles make you nervous before the date! We have the best times when we relax and enjoy ourselves with people. Don’t over analyse every little detail of the date, and just allow things to unfold naturally. Relaxed, confident women are more attractive in men's minds, because they are in control of themselves.

4. Spend too long on the date

The date should be short and fun. This keeps it fresh and spontaneous in the early stages, without draining every last bit of life out of the time you have together. Save some for the next date! Leave him wanting more, that's the key!

5. Drink too much

We all know, that nerves hit before a date. When the waiter comes to your table to ask what drink you would like, usually women will ask for a glass of wine. That is because we know with a bit of vino down us, we warm up and become more lively. Keep it to a two-drink max though. If the date’s so bad you need to drown your sorrows, say goodnight and hop a cab to meet your friends at another bar.


Do..

1. Put your phone on vibrate/silent

Refrain from even putting your phone on the dinner table. When you go out with your friends, it is natural to put your phone in front of you on the dinner table or next to you at the bar, but on a date, keep it hidden. Stop the urge to text or 'bbm' for a few hours. If you need to consult your phone for any reason, wait until your date steps out of site and put it away once they return.

2. Do prepare yourself for the date

By this, I mean pamper yourself. Especially if it is a first date, you want to look your best. A bit hairy? Have a wax. A bit pale? Have a spray tan. Dirty nails? Have a manicure. These are all basic things we should be doing naturally anyway. Do whatever it is you need to feel better about yourself and give yourself that confident boost. Want to feel sexy? Go any buy some nice lingerie, even if you do not want your date to see it that night, you will feel sexier.

3. Be yourself

There is nothing more sexy than being yourself. If you are a loud, outgoing person, do not try and act shy and innocent as you are worried how you will come accross. If you are shy and sweet, do not try and act like a slut to think the guy will like you. Be yourself. If the date does not like you at the end of the night, he was not worth it anyway and there will be more!

4. Have fun

To be honest, when you think about it, you are only hanging out with some one for a few hours. You are not sitting your GCSE's or having a wax. You are just going to have a nice evening with a date. Let your hair down and lighten up, what is the worst that could happen?


Hope this helps dolls..

Lotsa Love,

Little Miss V..x

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not..

Hello Dolls,

I have a friend who has been "seeing" a guy for about six months.. (mainly just sleeping together.) He then decided he wanted to be with her but she wanted things chilled and to stay the way they were. They get on great and their chemistry is electric and she did not want that to change. He was very persistant to make her his girlfriend and after quite a while, she gave in.
Now that she gave in he has been CRAP! So, where as before, he was the one calling, texting, wanting to take her out, he now has her and does none of that... It is as if the tables have completely turned!

WHAT?!!?!?!?!? How does a mans mind work? What makes him think "well now i have her, screw it!"
Now, I understand guys love a challenge. They love having something to work for and we play them off as much as we can but as women, we can't help it, we give in. Now as soon as we give in, why is it they go off of us?
Do they feel that now they have won they should move on? Do they think they have the trophy, it only needs a polish every so often? Or now that you are an "item" the sex may not be as good or we may be more needy? It just doesn't make sense.
So this friend of mine is really confused as the ball was completely in her court and now she doesn't know where she stands.

I know if I was in this situation, I think I would have to try and be the stronger one. If thats how he wants to play, fine, let him. The ball was originally in my court and thats how it'll end as well. He can act like he's not interested, but lets be honest, he is a guy and he will come running back. I think I would say to myself "Whatever, he is being childish, im over it!" And then move on. I'd get my girls together, dress up and look sexy as hell and go out on a mad night and make sure he knows about it! If he knows im out having fun and not crying over him, surely that will annoy him? He is a guy, he is trying to prove something. Well, its not happening dude.
So, to my friend, go out! Have fun! Make sure he knows you are out having fun. He will get so frustrated and come running back apologising and wanting you back and once again, the ball will be in your court! Oh, and when he does come running back.. tell him your done and not interested!
Hope that helps.

If you want to contact me you can..
Email: Blogdoll21@gmail.com
FB: Little Miss V
Twitter: @LittleMissVak


Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..x

Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight...

Hi dolls,


So, Cher once said "It's in his kiss" and you know what, I completely agree. "How can I tell if he loves me so?" Well, if his kiss oozes with lust and passion, then you know he likes you. Lady Antebellum said "Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,Just a touch of the fire burning so bright, And I don't want to mess this thing up..No, I don't want to push too far.Just a shot in the dark that you just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life so baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight." Sixpence none the richer wanted a kiss beneath the milky twilight where the silver moon was sparkling.

Your probably thinking I'm talking gibberish but think back to a time someone kissed you like they really meant it, like there was no one else in the room, on this planet even and you were just intwined in the most perfect lip lock.

To me a kiss is not just a kiss. I can spend hours kissing and cuddling a guy and not need any more sexual interaction because those kinds of kisses are so special and make you feel so in love. Even Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman said she would do everything and anything to Richard Gere, yet she would not kiss him. Why? Because you can only give a real kiss when you really like some one.

Now days, girls and guys go out to clubs and bars, get drunk and kiss who ever they see. Yes, it is fun and the next morning whilst attempting to cure a hangover, you remember that meaningless kiss or your friends remind you and say "I cannot believe you kissed that guy last night!" It happens to the best of us and you move on because it was meaningless and half the time, you won't see that person again, or even remember their name.

I am so into things old fashioned. I remember how my grandma used to tell me how men would "court" her. Back then, men were GENTLEMEN. You would meet at the local club, disco or bowling alley, they would ring the front door bell, come in to meet your parents and be so polite, they would take you out but have you home at an honest hour, write you a letter or throw a stone at your window to get your attention one night. I WANT THIS!
Why did things change so dramatically? Now days it is completely different. A guy will add you on Facebook and stalk your pictures before anything moves anywhere, say he has seen you out (when a lot of the time he probably has not), you will drive to your own date instead of him picking you up due to slight embarrasment, will take you to a boring restaurant or cinema, try get you back to his place and if not, before you both get into your own cars, there will probably be that end of date awkward snog. SNOG. Who wants a snog?! A snog is not a kiss. And this is what I mean.

I don't want that awkward snog at the end of the night. I want the kiss that will make my heart melt. I want the kiss that will make my stomach turn inside out with butterflies. I want the kiss that will make me go weak at my knees. I want the kiss that will make my leg pop back behind me. I want an upside down kiss like in Spiderman! I want it all!

To be honest, I cannot wait until the day I find the man who's kiss will do all of that to me. Everytime he kisses me, I want it to be like the first and last time we kiss with the most amount of passion you could ever desire.

Ahhhh, how I can only dream!

I hope you enjoyed this blog guys and dolls.

Dont forget, you can keep in touch with me via twitter @LittleMissVak, my facebook page " Little Miss V " or email - blogdoll21@gmail.com


Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx

FWB - Friends With Benefits!

Can a girl and a guy have a no strings attached/friends with benefits relationship without one or the other falling in love?!

For me, I am torn on this subject.
I think it can happen, as long as both partners understand that it is not a "normal" relationship. It needs to be fun and easy. No commitments. No pressures. It cannot happen often! I think the reason why FWB relationships don’t last is because some "couples" enjoy the sex, and do it too often, therefore confusing at least one party in the relationship into lust/love.

On the other hand, it sounds great in theory, but is it really possible to have a "successful" FWB relationship? Men and women are different when it comes to sex. A man is physically designed to have sex with no strings attached. A woman is designed to have sex selectively, which means she cannot have sex and detach — thanks to a little hormone called oxytocin (men have this hormone also, women are just more affected by it). This is the "bonding" hormone that makes the woman want to cuddle, connect emotionally, and communicate about the relationship. The female brain needs to talk about relationships like the male brain needs sex.


Personally, I think the whole FWB thing has become a lot more common and known in recent years. Tools like online dating have lead us to believe that the perfect person is just a check box away, so our expectations have increased as we have lost our ability to compromise. So with this, it is easier to find a friend or aquaintance for a FWB relationship.

Ok, so lets weigh up the pro's and cons of a No strings/Friends with Benefits relationship..

Pro's:
* Sex (and probably lots of it)
* Chemistry
* Friendship
* Potential future partner


Cons:
* One party falling in love
* Boredm
* No real feelings


I want to see this kind of relationship work. It didn't work for Blair and Chuck in Gossip girl, or Emma and Adam in No Strings Attached.. So will it work for me?
I love to really get into my blogs and find out the truth. So I am going to experiment with this. I am going to find a guy, and tell him a FWB relationship is all I want and see what happens.. watch this space!!

If you have any questions, you can email me - blogdoll21@gmail.com, twitter @LittleMissVak

xx