Can you make yourself fall in love?

‘Philophobia’ is the term for people who have a fear of falling in love or being in love. 

I came across this statement and wondered, “is this something I have?” 

You see, there is something a lot of you do not know about me. Four years ago I had my heart broken by someone who at the time was not my boyfriend but my best friend. In all honesty, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. So when you have a relationship with a guy that was as close as mine and his was and that relationship then shatters into a thousand tiny jigsaw pieces and your heart aches in a way that you never thought you could experience it makes you wonder, if someone this close and who you trust with everything can hurt you and break your heart, then surely all men can?

I guess in one sense, I do thank him. I look back then and see how I was a weak, sensitive and fragile little girl. Now, I am the complete opposite. I cannot remember the last time I took shit from a guy, well usually it is me dishing it out and not caring. Because that is the thing, I do not care. In the four years since Mr Love Me and Leave me, I have not come across one guy I have wanted to give feeling or emotion to.

I won’t lie, my friends do call me an insensitive bitch or an ‘emoshaphobic’ but how can I give a guy my true feelings and emotions when I felt so hurt and betrayed in the past!? I am not saying that I am a bitch to every guy I sleep with or I date or am seeing, I am just saying that I will do what needs to be done and not let myself get hurt again.

I will never hold regrets for things that happened as I believe that everything happens for a reason and I do believe that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all but will I be able to once again let a guy in?

Some people, especially women, tend to talk about a failed relationship so much that they re-traumatize themselves. Instead, get rid of your ex’s cards and letters. Don’t call or text or email. Get some sunshine and exercise, because both can change brain chemistry. When you can let go of something you have held onto for a long time, trust me it will feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Moving on and away from something is a great feeling. You learn to depend and rely more on yourself than other people. Like Whitney said, ‘Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all!’ 

All in all, personally, I do not think you can make yourself fall in love. It is not something you chose. I didn’t choose it. It happened. You can fall into lust, many a time in fact. I have. I have chosen to lust. You can lust after several people at once. You can have sex with different people because you have lust for them, not love. The difference is, when you lust someone all you want is their company and maybe their cock, where as when you love someone, you want all of them, you get jealous at certain things, you miss them (and not just their genitals) and most people become possessive when in love. When you are in love, after having sex you have romantic feelings toward that person where as with lust there doesn’t even have to be emotion. So basically, I love lust? 

I won’t deny, it did take me a long time to get over the love I had for this guy but after working on myself and having some fun in life, I moved on and got over it. I have recently lost 2 stone and am having a fabulous time enjoying my life and I actually think I am ready to let love in.. start queing up boys, LaLa is on the hunt for a man ;)

Lots of love, 

Little Miss V..x

Self Pleasuring!

Have you ever been up late at night, can’t sleep so turn on the TV to find something random? Well that was me the other night. Miss Nocturnal over here just could not fall asleep, even counting sheep wasn’t working so flicked through the channels to find Sexcetera and there it was, right in front of me, possibly the most disturbing thing I think I have EVER seen (and trust me, after being sent many a dick pic, I have seen disturbing) a man in a position I didn’t think men could put them self in.. Yes, there he was, on my screen, an oldish man sucking his own cock.

Don’t get me wrong, I am one for self pleasure, major fan, but come on…. That is pure nasty. If I was that flexible I most certainly would not lick my own vagina, it is just wrong!! 

So, self pleasuring, we all do it. Girls, how many times have you heard a guy say “I’m going for a wank” let me guess, very often? It is something done so often by most people. Girls will say a lot of the time that they do not masturbate, but I can assure you men, that’s a lie! Every girl needs the occasional flick and if she has no man doing it, she will do it herself. If not with fingers, with a toy. 

I have found a great little clitoral massager called ‘Fairy Baby’ by a company called Vibrator Kingdom. This little joy of insane amazingness is a mini key-ring vibrator, yes it can fit on your keys and means you are prepared for even the unexpected encounter. I say that because I have heard, even from my friends that there has come a time during their working day where they have got the horn. Well this is perfect, and once charged it is so powerful it will make your foot tingle (no word of a lie – tested!) Oh and the uber cool thing about it, is that you charge it via a USB to your computer. So you do not need to worry about batteries. Oh how I love technology :)

You can buy the Fairy Baby at http://vibratorkingdom.co.uk/store/fairy-baby-vibrator

Main website: http://vibratorkingdom.co.uk/

If you are at home and want to hit that pleasure spot and gain intense stimulation then try out the Wonderland PleasurePillar. This is a range from Doc Johnson. It is green, and curves. It is basically like being in Alice in Wonderland, imagine you are Alice and you are in this wonderland because let me tell you ladies, once you have an intense orgasm from this 5.6 inch vibrator you will be in your own little wonderland. Call it what you like because trust me, you will be going back to that special place over and over again! A great thing about this is that it is water proof so you can take your fantasies to the bath :)

To buy this go to http://www.sexshop365.co.uk/catalog/vibrators-401/mini-vibrators-282/wonderland-the-pleasurepillar-g-spot-silicone-vibrator-13756.html

or to have a look at the range of toys go to the homepage http://www.sexshop365.co.uk/sex-toys

Back in the day, people were made to believe that masturbation would make them go blind. I mean, I have heard of people blacking out from intense orgasms but never going blind. There are actually some positives to masturbation believe it or not. For example..

1) It can help you fall asleep. The relaxation that masturbation – and sex – provide is unbeatable just before sleep. Considering how important sleep is to cognitive function and a positive mood, take one for the team and masturbate before bed.
2) You learn to pleasure yourself. Once you know how you like to be pleasured, you can teach any future partners you have. There is nothing worse than having a man do something to you that you know you can do better. So teach him, if you don’t like the way he pinches at your clit, tell him. Your sex life together will be much better.
3) For guys, frequent masturbation in early adulthood is linked with a lower risk of prostate cancer later on. Whether you masturbate or have partnered sex often, there seems to be some benefit to clearing out the pipes at least a few times per week, so go on lads, bash one out on the regs, but don’t get too excited, you don’t want to end up causing yourself pain and discomfort! A wank a day keeps cancer away!! :)
4) According to a research I found, masturbating before a date helps you to keep your cool. It de stresses you and will keep you calm and relaxed.

I asked a few friends how often they like to masturbate or feel they need to.
Josh: “I usually wank every few days, if I have had a rough day at work and I am stressed I feel it really relieves that!”

Alex:  “I do it every day. I can’t help it, it’s habit. Sometimes I even do it at work.”

Rebecca: “When I can’t fall asleep I will definitely do it. I have an orgasm and then I am knackered and sleep like a baby!”

Zoe: “I was really horny once and fingered myself in the car. I was in traffic.”

So as you can see, I don’t think it matters where you are, if you have the horn, go for it. Unless you are near a school, nursery or playground because you will end up on the sex offenders register!

Hope you enjoyed this one guys. If you want to contact me you can do so..

Twitter: @LittleMissVak
Email: blogdoll21@gmail.com
Facebook/LmissV

Lots of love,

Little Miss V..x

Til Death Do Us Part?

Hey dolls,

So I just finished watching the film 'Swinging with the Finkels' which was a great British comedy with some awesome jokes.
The film is about a couple who have been married several years and are coming to the stage in their marriage where it is boring and nothing is happening. They decide to indulge in a spot of swinging which doesn't really help them and they seperate for some time before getting back together and her finding out she is pregnant. The end. 
The storyline really got me thinking about something to do with marriage, couples, dating, sex and cheating.

A few years ago I was on holiday with some friends. We met a few couples poolside and got talking to them. They happened to be from near the same area as us so found we had a lot in common. One of the couples was *Mandy and *Sam. From the moment Sam saw me, I could just tell that he was watching me, constantly. When I ordered some lunch I could see him watching the way I talked to the waiter, when I went in the pool he watched me swimming and when I ate an ice lolly, well, the way he was staring at me with his mouth wide open surely should have set alarm bells in Mel’s head. After a day at the pool we all decided to go out together in the night for some drinks. I was all dressed up and when we met everyone in the lobby of the hotel, Sam came over to me and whispered in my ear how stunning I looked. I felt really uncomfortable knowing that his girlfriend of 4 years was standing across the way and he was blatantly flirting with me. Off out we went for a night on the town and I happened to have got extremely pissed. I think it was a mix of the sun, the large shots and knowing Sam had not taken his eyes off of me that I needed to be drunk.

The night progressed and everyone in our group (including some we picked up along the way of our bar hopping) were drunk, including Sam. Though he was certainly not as pissed as I was and instead of looking after his girlfriend who was puking over a security guards shoes, he was helping me walk as I was all over the place. I knew from that moment, he was dodgy. Luckily that was their last night of the holiday and I was really glad that they were leaving the next day. Whilst my friends went down to breakfast to meet them, I decided to stay in bed and order up. A knock at the door made me jump to my feet as I was excited for my scrambled eggs and bacon, but to my disappointment it was not my eggs, but Sam. Shocked, I asked him why he was there and he pushed me inside, closed the door, pinned me up against the wall and started kissing me. I was hungover, hungry and horny all at the same time, not a good combo and this was so unexpected. At first I did kiss back, then realising it was him I pushed him off of me and started going mad. Why was he here? Why was he kissing me? The words did not stop coming out of my mouth from anger and disgust and you could say I had word vomit, but then I had real vomit. Being hungover and him making me feel sick caused me to actually be sick! I told him to get out or I would scream, he left.

I arrived back in London a week later and it was as if Sam knew when my flight came in. The moment I landed I received a message on Facebook. It was Sam. He was apologising for what he did but said that he could not help it and he was so attracted to me. The weird thing was that I was happy he messaged me. He was not good looking and actually made me throw up yet I still smiled when I received his message and I wanted to speak to him. I realised as time went on that messaging him back and forth was wrong but at the time I did it. He would tell me how much he fancied me and that he cannot stop thinking about me and at one point, told me he would leave his girlfriend for me. He also told me he didn’t love his girlfriend that much and could easily leave her. Though we had not met up or done anything wrong, I felt awful and told him to delete my details and I want nothing to do with him. Two weeks later I found out he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were due to wed. Once again, he made me sick. How could he propose to her and plan a wedding and to spend the rest of his life with her when clearly he did not love her. 

Sam tried to contact me a few weeks before his wedding but I did not reply. Was I suppose to be his excuse to leave his fiancé? I just did not get what it was he was after, but I actually did not want to know. Three years after that and two babies later, he messaged me. You would think after three years you would be over it, but know. This soppy shit just would not go. He was like a bad rash. I decided to reply to his message and we got chatting. At first it was simple hello how are you type messages but then he started with the “I have not been able to get you out my head all this time” types of messages.

So I decided to play along. I wanted to know what was going on in his life. Why was he messaging me? Was he that unhappy in his marriage?

To some this can be perceived as mean and out of order but heck, I’m a blogger and where would I be without people like this? 

Sam started telling me about his married life. How they rarely have sex and he enjoys wanking in the bathroom whilst watching porn. I tried to step back a bit and not act friendly, so the bitch in me came out, which happened to make him want to talk to me more. One day whilst he was at work, he sent me a picture of his cock whilst in the toilet with a caption “do you want this?” UMMMMMMM NO thank you, I do not want you’re shrivelled up 3 inch poor excuse for a cock. I didn’t reply to the message. I get home and I have a request on skype from him. I accept. Straight away he is messaging me and wants to go on camera. I told him I won’t go on camera but he wanted to. So I accept the skype call and he is in the bath, showing me his cock. I write to him asking me why he is showing me it. His reply “you turn me on so much, I want to turn you on!” My reply.. “no wonder you are not having sex with your wife, you do not know how to turn a woman on.” I hung up.

He messaged me the next day general chat and if I did not reply to any message there would be a question mark or a change of conversation.

He then messages me asking if I think he is sad. Do I think he is sad? In a way, yes I do. A married man who does not have sex with his wife, leads a boring routine and is messaging another girl non stop and sending dick pics just to get a reaction, yes I do think it is sad and I told him this too.

It then got too much for me when I get a message from him asking if I drive a certain car. He knew what car I drove and where I had been. Was he stalking me? I didn’t like the way this was going and so once again, I told him not to contact me anymore. He tried phoning me and after 6 phone calls I told him if he calls me one more time I will out him to his wife. I didn’t hear from him again.

So like I said earlier, this got me thinking about the whole relationship and marriage thing. When you stand there and say your vows and agree to be there for your partner through sickness and health and ‘til death do you part, are you just saying yes for the sake of it or do you mean it?

• Some true facts:
  The number of divorces in England and Wales in 2010 was 119,589, an increase of 4.9 per cent since 2009, when there were 113,949 divorces
• The divorce rate rose in 2010 to 11.1 divorcing people per thousand married population from 10.5 in 2009
• 22 per cent of marriages in 1970 had ended in divorce by the 15th wedding anniversary, whereas 33 per cent of marriages in 1995 had ended after the same period of time
• The number of divorces in 2010 was highest among men and women aged 40 to 44

Marriage needs to mean more than just words. Having children with someone needs to mean you will be there no matter what. If you are having problems with your marriage whether it be lack of conversation or lack of sex, speak to your friends or family. Someone you know may have gone through the same thing and can offer advice. For example, no conversation in your marriage and nothing to talk about and feel lonely? Go see a therapist. Sex life bad and you aren’t getting any? Buy some sex toys and spice things up. I understand that children get in the way but it seems like you need to be there for each other within a marriage and need to make time for each other. Have a once a week date night and enjoy your time together.

So my main message here is if you are going to fall in love, let it be forever, with someone you never want to be without. Do not get married for the sake of it when you are not really in love. Think carefully about the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, and do not cheat!! There really is nothing worse in my eyes than someone who physically cheats on their partner, it is cowardly! 

Hmm I am starting to sound like a relationship scrooge here so going to leave on this.. They say men and women are from different planets but we all end up on Earth so might as well get used to it!

Lots of love..

Little Miss V..x

Email: blogdoll21@gmail.com
Twitter: @LittleMissV
Facebook: /LmissV

Does penis size really matter?

A few years back I slept with this guy called Lee. Lee went to my school, was known and was hot! He would walk around like he was god’s gift and no one would ever say anything to him because he was just so.. HOT! I remember hearing girls say things like “wow he is so hot, I reckon he is amazing in bed!” Or I would see girls just stare at him, and his package. So you would think a guy like that would know what he was doing in the bedroom and also like the girls thought, be well endowed. 

This was far from the case. Lee and I slept together a few years after we finished school on a random, flirty rainy day. Thank god he had left the TV on in the background and Friends was on. Hearing Ross sing the ‘holiday armadillo’ song was far more entertaining than the way this guy was ‘giving’ it to me. Never in my life had I been so bored. I literally would rather have been Cinderella cleaning a palace floor. To make matters worse, the poor sod thought I was really enjoying myself due to my amazing ability to fake an orgasm.

Some people will say “it’s not about the size, it’s how you use it” but not only did Lee have the smallest cock god could have provided someone, he did not know how to use it either. 

What was worse was that Lee himself was a bit of a dick. So it's a shame that his personality was a bigger dick than his actual penis!  

 

We are in a generation where everything is supersized. Big meals, big cars, big jobs, big tits and bigger egos, it is hard to not think that bigger is better.

So I did some research and found out that the average erect size of the adult penis was between 5.5 inches and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 inches and 5.1 inches in girth.

I asked my best friend Amy for her thoughts on whether penis size does matter or not and here is what she had to say..
‘From personal experience, size does in fact matter. The best sex I have had has always been with the “bigger guys.” That is just personal experience. Maybe it’s because  I like the feeling of all that girth inside of me or maybe it’s because I like the feeling of not being able to walk, sit or pee the next day or maybe it’s because I like the feeling of my stomach being poked with a whole salami. Whatever the reason, for me, long and thick does the trick!!
This may not be the case for everyone and in defence to all the amazing lays out there who are not so well endowed, the guys I have shagged with small dicks were totally crap in bed altogether! All that “it’s not the size it’s what u do with it” business, may in fact be true, but they were doing fuck all with the little that they had and in my opinion all the amazing foreplay in the world cannot make up for a right good rogering!!’

So, Do women like big penises? Not necessarily. Large penises don't equal an instant orgasm. In fact, penis sizes that skew large can deter women's orgasms. Says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., the Men's Health "Sex Professor"
 "Women find it difficult to orgasm, and oral sex and hand stimulation are often more effective, as are vibrators," she says.  "It's not personal—it's just how some women's bodies work."

Now that is very true, a woman will not orgasm every time she has sex. Sometimes a guy will feel deflated when he has come before the girl has but boys, don’t take it to heart, it takes some of us longer than the 3 minutes it took you. 

In many surveys that have been done, 85% of women have said they are happy with their partners cock size. Listen, if you are with a partner for some time you learn the positions that suit you both to get you going. Obviously any girl that has a one night stand with a guy who was unable to satisfy her because his cock was not as big as she likes, will most certainly moan about it so do not take it to heart guys!

So here are some positions that can help you in the case of him being big or small.
If he’s a big boy, being on top puts you in control of penetration. Lie flat against his chest, sliding your legs together between his. You can grind against him at your own pace.
If he’s on the small side, get him to take you from behind. This will make him feel bigger and will allow for deeper thrusting action.
Girl on top positions ‘shorten’ the vagina. If he has a smaller penis, this is the best way to maximise his assets, therefore maximising your pleasure!

Girls, ever been with a small guy who gave it to you good? Boys, worried about your size? Get in touch, would love to hear some stories.. Email me - blogdoll21@gmail.com or tweet me @LittleMissVak ..

Lotsa love..
Little Miss V..x